Today has sucked complete ass.
We've been battling diarrhea with Scar since at least April. He'd been going to one veterinary office this whole time that had two doctors practicing there. One doctor has been out of state with a family emergency for almost two months and the other is on paternity leave as of a couple of weeks ago.
Since April we've done fecal exams, physical exams, bloodwork, tried steroids and antibiotics as well as the combination of them, special food, and we've done a scan of his intestines. He has thickening of his small intestine is all we know. We hadn't figured out a cause before the doctors went on leave, but we were told that cancer had not been ruled out.
We've been rocking along with him having diarrhea and otherwise seeming to feel fine, hoping it was just IBS or something and that we would eventually figure it out. Let me be clear about one thing - this was diarrhea in the carpet, not the litter box. It got so bad that even though we have a carpet shampooer, Shaun bought a handheld one because he was cleaning the carpet with the handheld attachment several times a day. The house has smelled awful despite any attempt at a speedy cleanup.
Finally, a couple of weeks ago Shaun got some spare linoleum out of the garage and put it down where Scar was going so that we could at least wipe it up with paper towels. The house smells better, and we can at least hear him scratching when he needs to go, which has allowed us to take him to the litter box (which he will use if we do that). I would almost rather him shit on the linoleum, though, because at least he doesn't get it all over his feet. There has been no winning for any of us for months - but you know what? I fucking love this cat and Shaun has been wonderfully supportive despite doing a ton of dirty work just to keep him around.
So Scar shit a turd the other day and I got super excited. But he didn't have his special food on Monday night because he ran out and his delivery hadn't arrived yet. He missed one meal of special food and I don't know if that triggered something bad or if he was going to eventually decline anyway, but he threw up everything he ate on Monday night. His special food arrived the next morning and he tried it, but couldn't keep it down. He hasn't eaten since then.
He's breathing like he doesn't feel well. His eyes look sad to me. He's obviously lethargic, but not yet dehydrated. So I've spent the last two nights with him because he's my little boyfriend and I want to comfort him as much as I can.
On to the appointment today:
The doctor at the urgent care claims that they did not receive his records from his regular doctor (who was closed today). Therefore, she wanted to do $1000 worth of diagnostics that had already been done recently. We told her that we thought he felt bad enough to end his suffering, but to her he didn't "look critical enough" for her to "be comfortable" with euthanasia.
Like, I 100% understand where she was coming from, but I fucking hate it. He was up rubbing on things, walking around, eyes looked bright. But most animal people know that the adrenaline from going a new place can make them "perk up" temporarily. I guess me and Shaun telling her that he isn't eating or able to hold anything down or that he literally shit bloody diarrhea with undigested food in it right before the visit counted for nothing. Not the fact that I have obviously been crying for 2 days. Not the fact that we didn't want him to reach the "critical" stage and suffer through that.
So, nothing happened. He got no help and he's also still with us which would usually be a good thing, but I am against suffering. I've been down this road more than a few times and I would rather send him off a little too early than one minute too late. I am so sad. I am frustrated. I don't really know what to do. I'm going to call his vet tomorrow and push for them to see him one final time. If they refuse I guess I'll make more calls. For now he's doped up on Sindar's gabapentin because at least he gets some rest that way.
It's been a pretty terrible day. I don't wish this anyone.
