TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of animal abuse.
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I had stress dreams last night and I've been messed up all day from it.
I took 800mg of Ibuprofen when I woke up this morning for the tension headache I was greeted with. I went back to sleep until it eased off enough that I could shower. I finally did that around 1 pm and DoorDashed some food around 3.
I've felt so brain-foggy and fatigued with a lingering headache all day.
Here it is bedtime and I just took more Ibuprofen because I still feel like crap.
The reason for the stress dreams is that I have a "friend" who's dying. They have been in hospice care on and off for the last 3-ish years. This person has 2 unsocialized, large breed dogs. One with a bite history, both with a history of fighting/killing smaller animals. And I was told recently that when this person finally drops dead I'm expected to take a 6 hour trip to go and pick these dogs up. Then I can "do my foster thing or whatever. As long as they don't end up as yard dogs."
This person has alienated pretty much all of their friends and family from them due to drug and alcohol abuse. We reconnected after they were already dying of cirrhosis, so I guess I missed out on them at their worst. I've visited them a few times (upon their request/guilt trip - never because I wanted to drop what I was doing and drive half a day or a whole day to see them).
I think that the dogs are poorly managed. They are house trained. They know "sit." The male is not neutered and goes through stages of being disobedient/headstrong and peeing indoors. That's about all of the training they've had. Other than that, they are used to being yelled at and kicked and otherwise treated poorly despite their "inside dog" status.
Every time I've visited this friend, the dogs immediately take to me. A few months ago I helped this dying person move from Arizona to Texas and it was awful. Instead of managing the dogs, the owner was more than happy to beat and yell at them for doing the wrong thing. For inching closer in the moving van despite being unrestrained. For pulling the leash when we tried to walk them. Stuff like that. I hated it and I told this person I was never going to help them again because of it. I don't take animal abuse lightly. (I never saw this happen on previous visits. I get that moving is stressful, but that's just not acceptable to me no matter what.)
This person is currently "disappointed" that I won't move them and the dogs from Texas to Alabama. But like... I have a family. I have a job. I paid for the rental van and hotel and gas to move them on the first trip and they never paid me back despite saying they would. I can't afford to do it again even if I wanted to. Not only that, I had to DoorDash boxes and tape to them so they could pack, and I ended up loading the van mostly by myself. This person is definitely sick and not doing well, but damn. That was a strain in so many ways on me.
So I'm stressing about when this person dies. I am not bothered by the fact that they are actively dying. It happens to all of us and they have had more than enough time to stop drinking and whatnot if they wanted to live. They made their choice. Repeatedly.
My concern is the dogs, obviously. I think that in the right homes they would do well. The female (a Heeler mix) is spayed and older. She's ornery and a little overweight. She has hip problems. She likes to swim. When we were at the hotel she asked to sleep with me so I helped her onto the bed and she stayed there with me all night. I feel that it's telling she didn't sleep with her dying owner, but then again I had just witnessed her get the shit kicked out of her when she got out of the van for being excited and pulling the leash (despite not being leash trained, ever).
This dog has bitten people and fought other dogs. But I really think those things happened out of poor management. I don't know how risky it would be to place her into another home (with everything I know disclosed, of course). If I didn't have to take Shaun and the kids' feelings into concern on the matter I would try her here. I would crate and rotate if necessary. Unfortunately, no one here is comfortable with trying it and I get it. I just fear that she's not adoptable due to many factors and I hate it.
The male dog (a LARGE bull dog breed) is a big goober. He is playful with other large dogs and friendly to people. He's 8 years old. I think he would be adoptable into the right home (one with no small animals). He definitely needs to be neutered. He hates water. He drools. He's cock-eyed. He's got a big, meaty head and just wants to be loved on. He's somehow quite charming despite my lovely description. 😂 I think he could find a home - just not ours because we have cats.
I don't know what to do. I don't know when this person is going to die and dump all of this responsibility on me. I don't have a plan for when it happens. I can't contact rescues and ask that they hold a spot for some dogs I'll eventually inherit. I am not in Alabama anymore where I have rescue contacts to help me network. Literally the only thing I can think to do is to pick them up and hope a shelter near me will take them.
They are not welcome guests (neither the dogs nor their owner) where they live now. The person did that to themselves, so again - no sympathy from me on that. But the dogs... The dogs didn't ask for any of this and I'm really not sure how I can get them a decent outcome from this shit show.
Thank you in advance for any ideas you might have because obviously I am stressing the hell out. Stress is a migraine trigger for me and I need solutions or I'm not going to be ok until this person dies and these dogs are dealt with.
Edited to add: I sent this person this message. I already feel so much better. I was wrecked without even having the dogs. This is just not possible for me.
