Life update:

Life update:

Me and Shaun lost our health insurance at the end of April.  We have too much in savings to be eligible for Medicaid here, so we'll have to pay out of pocket for other state insurance.  It's going to be about $750/month to get ourselves covered, which isn't ideal since I'm unemployed.  But I'm grateful for the option.  Btw, the kids still have their Medicaid, so they're fine.

I haven't been to therapy since mid-May because I can't afford to pay $250/week for it.  But I'm doing ok mentally.  We will have to purchase insurance by next month because I won't have enough medication left to be normal if I don't.  I have a supply of my antidepressant and antianxiety, as well as the hormones I need.  I will check in with Shaun tomorrow and see where he is with medication.  Also, I'm going to push him to go to urgent care if his sinus infection doesn't clear up.

I feel like I really needed the deep rest, so being laid off was kind of a relief at first.  Now I've been sick for the last week or so, and I've needed a bunch of rest to recover from that.  I'm feeling mostly better, though, so now I'm just feeling really untethered; but not in a good way.  I guess "aimless" would be a good word to describe it.

There is so much I could be doing.  I could finish swatching my polish.  Work on my database.  Try to sell some of the jewelry I made since I don't have an income.  Try to sell some of our extra stuff from around the house because I love to declutter and money would be nice.

I could clean.  I could do the laundry I've been meaning to do for more than 6 weeks.  I'm down to wearing nightgowns day in and day out because I am literally out of clean clothes.  😆  I could at least make myself some healthy food, but I've been living on soup and pizza rolls and rice pudding for weeks.  I have no willpower to do anything except for water my plants.

The one positive from this downtime is that I have actually started gaining some energy back.  Not enough that I want to use it yet, but it's harder to lay around and that's a good thing.  For the past two nights in a row, I've dreamed about roller skating.  I feel like that's a good sign.  I've ordered a boot stretcher so that I can stretch the toe of my skates and hopefully wear them for longer periods.  They fit toe-to-heel, but I have wide feet and the toe box is so narrow.  It's hard to wear them for long.

As much as schedules feel like prison, I'm far more productive and stable when I have one.

Anyway.  I know of several people who were let go from my previous company and no one is having luck getting hired anywhere.  I'm pretty sure it's the job market and not us.  I have degrees in Math and Computer Science, as well as certifications in ServiceNow.  I feel like I should be pretty marketable.  I had been looking for work involving ServiceNow, but I'm starting to think I need to widen my search and see if that helps.  I'm also considering looking into Salesforce.

Other than that, I have some friends visiting soon and I am so excited about it.  I feel like I need it and I think we all will have a great time.

I hope y'all are doing well.  ❤  I'm not 100%, but things will get better.

This makes my third week on Testosterone and Hypothyroid meds.

This makes my third week on Testosterone and Hypothyroid meds. According to the doctor, I should be feeling pretty good by now - and I do.

• No migraines since I started these meds
• Sleeping better
• Not always cold; in fact I'm sometimes warm without a hoodie and blanket
• I've got a bit more energy
• Even though I've felt stress, I'm not taken out by it
• Not as achy as I was, but it's still there
• Have possibly lost a little weight, but I'm not really tracking it
• I still have bouts of brain fog, but I'm finding my words better than I used to

This is DEFINITELY improvement. I'll have my hormone levels tested pretty soon and see how it looks from that perspective, but I'm grateful that I'm feeling a good bit better.

I don't know what would get me back to 100% (or if it's even possible to do so), but I'm going to try to stay on top of my self-care and continue looking for answers for whatever ails me. I won't say that I don't trust doctors, but I feel better when I'm an active participant in my care. It feels better than taking someone's word over something as important as health.

Also, just throwing this out there since it's a health update:  My lichen sclerosis is under control, as well. My downstairs is ok and still there and doing what it should. I was terrified that it would never be ok, but it is and that's a huge relief.

For the past week I've been super stressed.

For the past week I've been super stressed. Politically, there is a whole lot going on and I'm sure that's a strategy to overwhelm us. I'm trying not to let it work. I also had some work stress, which ended up not being bad, but I did work some longer hours. That's ok. My point is that I slept late today because I just felt like I needed it.

At 1:something, Shaun came upstairs to check on me, which I normally appreciate, but I was still half asleep and he was turned up to 100. 😂😂😂 He was like "I thawed a rat and need your help feeding the snake we could've gone on a road trip today I can probably feed the snake by myself it's whatever what do you want to do?" and I'm just tucked in with my cat and squinting at him like "Wtf, bro?"

I'm so glad he felt great today, but that was a bit much. 😂😂😂

Anyway, I slept late and didn't have a sleep hangover, so to me that says I needed it. Despite feeling stressed most of the week, I didn't have nightmares last night. I actually had pleasant and entertaining dreams for once. I can't remember the last time that happened.

So yesterday was 2 full weeks on Testosterone and I haven't had a migraine despite my stress levels, so that's amazing. I'm finally sleeping at night again and it's wonderful. Even if I wake up to pee or whatever I'm usually able to fall back asleep. I also feel less brain-foggy and that is a huge relief.

I haven't hopped on a scale, but I feel like I might have lost some weight, too. I'm not doing anything crazy. I have a 32-day streak of walking at least 15 minutes per day. I started small because I figured it would be easier to make into a habit. I am still doing weights 3x/week, except that I skipped 2 days last week. Instead of beating myself up, I'm just going to pick up where I left off this coming week.

I don't know if weight loss would be due to the Testosterone or not, but I also started meds for Hypothyroid around the same time. All I do know is that I tried to lose weight before, during, and after college and it didn't matter if I fasted for days and walked an hour a day at the gym, it wasn't budging. But now I feel like I'm not actually trying hard and it's happening, not to mention that I don't constantly feel like I'm freezing all the time.

Whatever it is, I'm grateful that I'm feeling more normal. I also feel like I finally have a say over the state of my body. It's just weird to me that I spent so much time trying to get in shape and it wasn't happening, but now that my hormones are medicated, it doesn't feel like it will be impossible anymore. Hopefully, this will be a healthy year for me. We shall see.

I'm here to ramble again...

I'm here to ramble again because it helps to quiet my mind.  Feel free to skip this.  I'm gonna break it into sections for readability, I guess.

ANXIETY

My lips and cheeks are chewed to death.  I hate it when I get this way.  I am still on my antidepressant and antianxiety meds, but so many people are having a hard time right now and it is really upsetting.  Politically, things are going worse than I imagined.  I was hoping that the tangerine felon would just play golf through his term again, but food prices are rising (if it even makes it to the shelf), ICE is being spotted everywhere, and I'm mad as hell at everyone who voted for this.  I hope it comes back and hurts you more than it hurts anyone who didn't vote for this.  Take it personally because that's how I mean it.  Not to mention his "jokes" about serving another term.  He's obviously trying to set up to be a dictator and some of y'all are just here for it.  My only solace is that he's a crusty old man and might die.  If not, perhaps another Luigi will step up.  I said what I said.  I like it when the villain dies and that doesn't just apply to fiction.  I'm not religious or superstitious so I have zero qualms about saying it.  I will not feel bad if it happens.  I will dance.  I guess I needed to get that off my chest.

If it's not clear:  I believe in helping people.  I believe that no on is illegal on stolen land.  I believe that billionaires are a problem to be solved and that they are pitting the lower classes against each other to keep us distracted.  I believe that anyone who hoards wealth while people suffer in poverty has a serious character flaw.  I believe we should all pay our fair share of taxes, INCLUDING high-earners.  I say this having come up from poverty - literally supporting myself and my child on $17,000/year + depending on government assistance to making bank now.  I pay my taxes - my taxes are paid.  HELP OUR COMMUNITIES WITH IT!

(I know that New Mexico does take care of its citizens and that is one of the main reasons I moved here.  The red states need to get their shit together.)

More on my feelers:  We have been doing a good job about not eating out/DoorDashing food during the week.  We are doing that to save money and to try to encourage us to eat healthier.  But today... today I needed sloppy food and carbs.  I was craving it.  We ordered pizza and brownies and I have no regrets.  Sometimes we just have to comfort ourselves.  We'll get back to the routine starting tomorrow.

HORMONES

Testosterone is supposed to help with anxiety, but I am unsure if it is having any effect or not because, well, see above.  I did sleep basically through the night last night, though.  I woke up once to pee.  So I am happy about catching up on my rest.  Now if only I could calm down.  At least I haven't had another migraine.  Yay for silver linings.

I am also on a hypothyroid medication.  I am noticing that I don't feel cold as often.  I haven't hopped on a scale to measure it, but I feel like I might be losing some weight.  I'm not doing anything extra besides walking a little every day, doing my strength routine 3x week, and trying to eat at home during the week.  Doing that and more before starting this medication never once helped me shed the extra pounds I was carrying.  So if having the diet and exercise routine of a normal human being is working for me now, that's pretty great.  No complaints here.

RELIEF

I guess shouting into the void does something.  I feel exhausted now.

Today wasn't 💯, but...

Today wasn't 💯, but it really wasn't bad considering how terribly I slept due to how anxious I was about work.

I kind of bit off a lot to do on Thursday and the rest of my team has to wait for me to do my part before they can do theirs, so that's no pressure. /sarcasm 😂 I worked on it some Thursday and Friday, but I knew I'd feel better if I just had some quiet hours to dedicate to it today.

I slept late today because of how bad I slept. I finally texted Shaun to come get me out of the bedroom in the afternoon because I was just so anxious that I wasn't moving. He got me up, and I ended up getting most of my work done today. I didn't make any actual changes to the client's instance, but I have everything documented and linked in Excel so that we (as a team) can go over it on Monday and knock it out quickly. I just didn't want to be in there making that many changes without a second set of eyes.

Anyway, I feel good because I got so much done. I'm also really happy because usually when my anxiety is up and my sleep is bad I get a migraine. That didn't happen today - thank goodness. Testosterone is supposed to help with anxiety and migraines, so that may be why I didn't. If all I get is a little stuck and needing a nudge, I am fine with that. I usually know how/when to ask for help.

Well, it's 1 in the morning. I'm heading to bed. I hope I get some good sleep tonight. Hopefully I will since I don't feel worried about anything at the moment.

I've been on Testosterone for one week.

I've been on Testosterone for one week.  I've also been on meds for hypothyroid for 6 days.

The first few days were rough, mood-wise.  Other than that, my joint aches are better and my sleep is improving, as well.

I am sure it's a combination of both medications, but today was straight-up good.  I felt rested upon waking and I honestly can't remember the last time that happened.  I usually struggle with being sluggish and drowsy and desperately wanting to crawl back into bed, but not today.

I woke up, did my Duolingo, got my steps in, did my strength-training from yesterday, and went to work.  I struggle to get those 2 to 3 things done daily (I don't strength train every day), often waiting until after work to exercise, but today I knocked it out, as well as checked off some things from my to-do list.  It's been weeks since I checked even one thing off that list.

I don't know if I will have this kind of energy every day, but I am really hoping this isn't a fluke.  I felt like I wanted to feel - like I used to feel, before Psoriatic Arthritis and college stress and depression teamed up and knocked me on my ass.  Not to brag, but I used to be a person who could do things.  😂  If this does keep up, maybe I'll get back to skating and making jewelry and doing more than just sitting on the couch because that's all I have the energy left to do after working.  Here's hoping.

It's only 8:30 here, but I'm crashing out and I'm ok with that.  I'm still trying to be gentle with myself and I'm listening to my body, so I'm getting ready for bed.  I hope y'all have a good night.  <3

Day 4 on Testosterone went well.

Day 4 on Testosterone went well.

I slept about 5 hours in a row before waking up last night, so that's improvement. I took a Melatonin around 3 this morning and slept late again since I didn't have to work. I definitely needed it.

My mood has been more stable. Not only did I NOT ask Shaun to not look at/speak to me, but I had a little bit of energy to check on the greenhouse. I think that my mood was just intense my first couple of days on T, and I read that is to be expected. Hopefully, I'm done being irritable.

My joint aches are almost non-existent, so that's really nice.

So far, so good. I guess I just had to get over the initial shock to my system. Hopefully, things will keep improving. Y'all know I will keep you posted.

Goodnight, friends. ❤️

I'm still on the struggle bus, but ...

I'm still on the struggle bus, but I did my walking, my Duolingo, and leg day today. Better late than never.

I went to bed early last night and woke up around 1 am with prickly itching in my downstairs. I scratched before I could stop myself and I noticed some skin changes. I'm really sad about that. I'm still on medication for Lichen Sclerosus, so I thought it would stop my labia from changing and/or disappearing. I don't want them to disappear! They are still there, but I'm distraught. Like, do these changes mean that I'm still in an active flare? I don't know anything. I might look for a dermatologist or something.

I'm in physical distress with whatever is happening down there, plus my hormone situation. It's also causing quite a bit of mental distress, too. I feel really scared and sad and then I take my Testosterone and get rage-y on top of that. I think I handled today better than yesterday. I didn't tell Shaun not to talk to me or look at me, but I was pretty rude to him when Toebean let me know he was hungry for his special food that keeps him from getting stones and Shaun hadn't fed him. 😬  Shaun is basically handling everything around the house at this point, and I'm saving all of my energy and politeness for work, since both are very limited.

So far, I feel that the Testosterone has helped my joint pains some. I am still achy, but not as bad. It's only been 3 days, though, so there's plenty of time for me to feel better.

I woke up around noon and I'm heading back to bed at not-even 10. I feel like my batteries are low and it sucks. I do not know how to function like this.

Goodnight, friends. I hope y'all are having a better time than I am. ❤️

I'm about to go to bed because I'm exhausted...

I'm about to go to bed because I'm exhausted, despite sleeping as long as I wanted to today.

So last night I saw someone post about a music video with Roseanne in it. I made Shaun look it up on YouTube on the TV. That was... Something.

After that, there was a video talking about Jafar Jackson and how he sounds so much like Michael. I made Shaun watch that with me, too.

Being tired and done with my bullshit, he turned the TV off because he was going to bed (around 9 last night). Having just learned of Jafar's existence and wanting to know more, I opened the YouTube app on my phone. It presented me with a pimple-popping video and I COULD NOT look away. So I sat here on the couch until 2:30 this morning watching disgusting, grossly-satisfying video after video. I could not stop. For 5 hours I sat here, trapped and entranced. I'm afraid I've now ruined my YouTube algorithm and I'm scared to open it again. Apparently I'm defenseless against pimple-popping videos. Not super shocking since I'm such a skin-picker, myself.

Anyway, I didn't make it out of the bedroom today until around 2 this afternoon. I did do my walking, but not my delayed leg day from yesterday. I will try again tomorrow.

I thought I was ok, but then I found out that my face looked mad. I didn't feel mad, but over the course of the day I asked Shaun to stop talking to me, and then eventually to stop looking at me. So I guess I've felt some kind of way. Like "We can watch TV together, but do not perceive me." 😂 He just went to bed... in his game room. He said it was probably safer that way. 😂😂😂

I really need to do my nails. I've had this gel overlay on for 3-ish weeks. Maybe 4. I cut my nails recently because they were getting too long, but the gel is starting to lift and that's probably causing damage. But I obviously didn't feel like doing nails today. On top of my mood, I've felt tired and also foggy. I can't blame the hormones because I'm the one who stayed up late, but I'm sure they are doing something. I'm on day 2 of Testosterone and started my Hypothyroid meds today.  I should probably be resting and taking it easy while my body adjusts. So, goodnight. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

I started my Testosterone today.

I started my Testosterone today. They warned me it was bitter and offered to flavor it. I chose watermelon. It's not bad. It has to melt under my tongue.

They said it could take up to 3 weeks to normalize my levels and feel better.

I am hoping with everything I have that it helps me sleep.

Here's another long, probably TMI post:

Here's another long, probably TMI post:

I want to start by saying that those books I recommended a week or so back that were given to me by my doctor have some good points. But after finishing reading them and then doing some investigation, they were definitely pushing Testosterone pellets (implants that last 3-4 months) that they make. Not that I have full faith in the government, but the pellets aren't FDA approved and also not covered by insurance. They cost about $350/pellet out of pocket, and I just don't have it like that. Not only that, once implanted they can't be removed, and I don't want to try a hormone for the first time not knowing how I'll react to it without the option of quitting it/adjusting the dose if I need to.

I do, however, really like the idea of hormone treatment that releases over months. No roller-coaster from taking it, no affect on the liver - just in your body as if you made it. I may be open to trying the pellets one day, but it's just not a thing that can happen right now.

THAT BEING SAID, I am very pleased with how my visit went today.

She said that my thyroid is low. Still within normal range, but asked if I had any symptoms of low thyroid and I do. I have for years. But no doctor ever wanted to treat me for it because I was "in range." She prescribed me a thyroid medicine and said that I would probably feel better on it and if I do, then great, but if I have any negative side effects that I could stop taking it. I really appreciated that attitude because I felt like she was treating ME, not my labs. I go to the doctor to feel better, and she genuinely seemed to want that, too.

She also said that my testosterone is low, and I am not shocked because I have many of those symptoms, too. I'm going to start a testosterone lozenge and see how that goes. They only offer the pellets or lozenges, so it's my only option from this provider. She did say that the lozenges have better absorption than skin creams. She said it was really hard not to get T levels too high for most women with injections, so that's why they don't do it. Understandable.

The last thing we talked about is me quitting the estrogen patch. For one, my estrogen levels seem ok (I know it's not accurate to diagnose estrogen levels with one lab), but the reasoning is because it's preventing my body from doing what it's trying to do which is go through the change.

While I do feel like the estrogen might have helped me at first, that could be entirely inaccurate because I started progesterone at the same time. She said it was fine to stay on the progesterone to help with sleep, so I will.

I'm not sure about quitting estrogen; I will have to look into that. But I do like the idea of letting my body do what comes naturally, so long as I'm functional and also not miserable. I hope I have around 40 more years left, and that's a long time to have sleep issues and brain fog and low energy, etc.

Anyway. That's how that went and I'm excited to hopefully feel better soon.

I joined a group on Facebook...

I joined a group on Facebook called "Menopause Chicks" a few days ago, and I've already left it. So many of the posts are like "What are natural solutions for my dry vagina? No HRT!" or "These hot flashes are out of control! What can I do? Pharma is not in my vocabulary."

And I'm just sitting here like "What is more natural than taking hormones THAT YOUR BODY ALREADY MAKES!?"

I get it if you have risk factors and make an informed choice to opt out of HRT, but the books I posted a few days ago point out that a bunch of the studies saying it increases your risk of cancer were not well-done and that HRT can actually help protect you from certain cancers, as well as Alzheimers disease and bone loss (among other things).

I don't know. As far as I'm concerned, everyone can do what they want with their own body, but it's so hard for me to fathom a more natural remedy to the ailments caused by declining hormones than, you know, simply replacing those hormones. 🤷🏻

I have an appointment on Thursday and I'm so ready. I've got a lot of symptoms of my hormones being unbalanced and/or low. I'm hoping to get a more hands-on treatment than what I can get from a purely online provider. We will see.

The doctor called.

The doctor called. My swab came back negative, so maybe I did just get soap or something in the wrong place. Either way, I've felt fine for a day or two, thank goodness. 🤷🏻

I'm having blood drawn in a bit.

I'm having blood drawn in a bit. To prepare, I was told to take off my estrogen patch for at least 12 hours beforehand and skip my dose of progesterone last night.

I have laid here miserably trying to sleep and FAILING all night. I literally haven't slept at all.

Those two hormones may not be the only ones I need, and I did feel that my dosage was helping less over time, but my gosh - they were still doing some pretty heavy lifting that I have a new appreciation for.

I've felt run down all day. My mood isn't great, either.

I've felt run down all day. My mood isn't great, either.

When I finally got out of bed, Scar was underfoot wanting to be fed and I accidentally kicked him. Adrian was on my side of the sink and I tried move her over and accidentally knocked her down. I didn't apologize to either of them. I'm rude today. 😢

I had a protein shake, took my meds, sat around for maybe half an hour and then went back to sleep until about 5.

My lower back hurts, my pelvis aches, and something is still definitely wrong in the business. I really hope I get some answers and some medication early this week.

It's time for me to overshare again!

It's time for me to overshare again!

TMI Warning:  I'm gonna talk about my vagina and perimenopause.

Also, this is long.

Some backstory:

My crotch has/had been itching for like, 2 years. I LITERALLY couldn't see anything wrong, but I'd been scratching through my leggings like a crazy person for all of this time. I'd tried everything, like switching soaps and detergents, moisturizing, etc. Anything I could think of to make it stop.

I didn't think it was a yeast infection because that's not how a yeast infection normally presents, and I had no other symptoms of one of those, anyway.

Well, r/menopause saved the day again. Apparently, that can happen when your estrogen is low, so I mentioned that at my last Midi appointment (which was on Halloween), so she prescribed an estrogen cream for me to use.

UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME, that wasn't the problem. I went back to r/menopause and found a few posts mentioning the itching and Lichen Sclerosus (another autoimmune thing, yay). In the posts they said that Clobetasol usually cleared that right up. "Clobetasol" was tugging at my brain strings and I went searching through the bathroom cabinets and found some (in an alcohol solution). I'd been prescribed it for my scalp psoriasis (a long-ass time ago - the expiration date on this bottle was March 2017). But I was desperate and tried it anyway and by the next day I felt tons better.

Looking back, I probably should have just gone to a doctor, but all of the gynecology places I called had really long waiting lists, and I was getting my HRT from Midi via the internet, so I was mostly good.

Until this week. 😂

I showered on Monday and put on brand new (unwashed) leggings. I don't know if I got soap in my cooter or there was dye in my pants or what, but I gradually started itching on the inside. By Wednesday night it was so bad that I yet again went digging through the bathroom cabinets and found an un-opened Monistat 1 treatment (that expired in December 2023). Out of desperation I used it, hoping I'd just gotten a yeasty somehow.

Well, I don't think that was the case. My shit burned all night and all the next day. I was in bad shape.

I washed my business in plain, cool water when I got up yesterday. I took a look and the ol' girl was DEFINITELY upset. She was very red and irritated and I was like "I have to find a doctor that can see me sooner than a few months out, or I'll have to go to the ER." I did NOT want to go to the ER, so Shaun, wonderful Shaun that he is, helped me find some places to call. And I got STUPID LUCKY that a place that specializes in HRT was able to see me the very next day, which was TODAY.

The visit went very well. Their scale and their finger-holdy thing did more than just weigh me and check my blood air. According to their gadgets, I'm made of half fat at this point, which I can believe, and my Aortic Elasticity is low, and my body is responding poorly to stress (duh). Everything else pretty much looked ok, thank goodness.

We went through a questionnaire to see if the HRT I'm on is really helping me. I already knew that my sleep was going back to shit, but there are several other things on this list that resonate, especially the increasing anxiety. Like, my life is SO MUCH EASIER than it's ever been. I don't feel like I have any good reasons to be anxious, but the migraines are becoming more frequent again and one of my triggers is stress, so... I need this to stop.

I have to go have some labs done this coming week, and she did swab my coochie, so I'm going back in a few weeks to hopefully get some answers. But for now, she's confirmed the Lichen Sclerosis and prescribed me a cream for that, so no more precariously dabbing an expired alcohol solution on my bits.

Also, testosterone wasn't mentioned by Midi as of yet, but the symptoms in the graphic are usually from low T according to the doctor that I saw today. She gave me (for free!) 2 books to read, and I'm halfway through one already. I'm hopeful that she'll prescribe me some testosterone with my other hormones at my next visit so that I can get right.

If y'all ever need to talk about the hazards of perimenopause, please feel free to reach out to me. I definitely do not have all of the answers, but I'm for sure putting up a fight to feel the best I can as I age. I can try to point you in the direction of some resources, or at least commiserate. Be well, friends. ❤️

The results of my CT scan came back normal.

The results of my CT scan came back normal. The report was very thorough and the only thing found was a cyst on my cervix. That explains the central position of the pain.

Those are apparently very normal and nothing of concern. So I'm glad that it's nothing scary, but at the same time random bouts of intense pain with nothing to be done about it are not very fun. 🤷🏻

I've had a really low-energy weekend.

I've had a really low-energy weekend.  It might be my own fault.

I lost my box of Estradiol last weekend.  I was supposed to change my patch on Thursday, but couldn't.  I thought I had a new box of my higher-dose patches around, but couldn't find those, either.  That isn't like me.  I contacted the pharmacy and they said they could refill it again, but they won't have the patches until Monday.

Shaun went looking and found my new patches... on his shelf of the pantry, still in the bag from the pharmacy.  He must have mistaken it for one of his prescriptions and put it up there.  I can't even see that high, so I never look on his shelf.  😂  I would have never found those by myself.  Anyway, I put one on last night and got sick to my stomach.  Then I slept until 3 pm today.  Fun times.

I worked a little bit this weekend.  I'm on 3 projects currently and it just takes some of the stress off during the week if I can spend a few hours focusing on only one thing.  I would prefer to keep work during work hours, but I'm grateful for the flexibility.

Other than that, the only thing I did was nails.  Shaun took off his old gel and I gave him a fresh coat.  I also re-did my gel overlay, but haven't thrown down anything pretty.  I don't know if I can/will.  I have a growing list of things to do that I am falling behind on and I don't like it.

I didn't do my cleaning like I normally do on the weekends.  I need to mail some packages, but ran out of packing tape, so I'm picking that up before work in the morning.  I need to water my plants and build the greenhouse and change my sheets and probably 100 other things, but I'm done for the day.  I have a 7:30 am meeting, so I'm heading to bed.

Also, Kira's son, Leon, is having his bladder stones removed tomorrow.  Shaun will be dropping him off at the vet first thing.  Send him all the good vibes.  He's a sweet kitty and we want everything to go well.

Goodnight, friends.  ❤

I'm really tired of waking up at 3-5 in the morning...

I'm really tired of waking up at 3-5 in the morning. I'm still sleepy, it's not time to work, and I don't know what to do with myself. Melatonin doesn't help.

More hormone/period/boobie talk incoming.

More hormone/period/boobie talk incoming.

So my period came 4 days early. It's still going. But I didn't feel PMS at all this time. I do feel like I have a hormonal headache today, though. Nothing is kicking it.

If my schedule is off, that could be why my boobs were sore unexpectedly. They are not overall achy anymore, but I do have some sore spots. They found some cysts when they did the ultrasound and though I never felt them before, I haven't stopped feeling them since all of the mashing. They are super tender and I really don't like it.

Anyway. I don't know if I'm running early because of HRT or not, but it's likely that I am. That's ok. The doctor said it was fine. I just really wish anything would stop my head from hurting.