Today is an exciting day for me...

Today is an exciting day for me - my legal name change has gone through!

I know that there will be questions so I'm going to do my best to explain.

This has been in the works since 2016 - before Shaun and I were even engaged.  Of course it is traditionally expected for the wife in the relationship to give up their last name and take their husband's name upon marriage, but I truly loathe everything about the tradition of marriage.  That is a rant that I'm not interested in going into today, but suffice it to say that we signed up to be legal spouses rather than husband and wife - so why would we do anything else the traditional way?

I mean no ill will or hard feelings towards Shaun's relatives, but the Sexton name was not meant for me.  Everyone who knew Shaun's father knew that he was a deeply religious man. Anyone who knows me and Shaun well knows that we are atheists.  Unfortunately, that caused a fair bit of friction and Shaun's father expressed to us in no uncertain terms that Shaun (and eventually me, as well) not being in the church was bringing shame on the family name.  He would make comments or have us read passages or quotes along the same vein.

Us changing our names was not done in retaliation or to be petty - though we are not religious we are also not assholes.  We'd never want to shame his legacy and this separates us from it.  As skeptics, we require proof of a claim in order to change our beliefs and none was ever presented.  A person can't be forced to believe something they don't believe so we had an irreconcilable difference.  This doesn't mean that we don't believe we were loved or that we didn't love him in return - we did.  But this was undeniably a very sore spot for him.

Also, neither of us believe that a child should exist to fulfill a parent's expectation.  That is a heavy burden to bear.  We believe that our offspring are whole new people with different ideas and experiences and beliefs.  We encourage Shadow and Kira to be fully who they are and not only have they have been a pleasure to get to know, but our relationship with them is not strained.  It's a beautiful thing.

Speaking of the kids - I call them kids but they are 22 years old.  They are legal adults.  They are welcome to take our last name if they want it; however, both of them have expressed that they are happy with their names and that is 100% ok.

There are other practical reasons for this change, too.  Our names on the bills and the house and the cars and all of that are a mess.  Sometimes there is only space for one last name.  Sometimes one of us is put in the "notes" section.  This will clean that up entirely.  Not to mention that this is just another piece of our slow and beautiful combining to be a united front.  I love that even after almost 14 years together we are still happy and "all in" enough to want to do this.

So why Xenethos?  Shaun took the letters from Sexton and Stephens and mashed them up.  This was our favorite outcome.  It means "strange character" which does, indeed, fit us.

Why now?  I'd planned to change my name after college, but unfortunately Shaun's father passed away not long before I graduated.  Then we had estate stuff to handle and changing a name during that seemed like a bad idea.  Then we moved and needed to get settled and live here for 6 months before we could do it, so there was that.  Finally, the timing was right.

How do you say it?  Zen-e-thos  (I'll do this better, maybe.)

Funny Story:  We went to file our paperwork together and I turned mine in first and received my court date.  Shaun did his right after me and received an earlier court date by about 6 weeks.  So TECHNICALLY the universe did a little shit on my head and made me take his name after all, but it's all good.  I'm just happy it's done.  I've been Blu Xenethos in my head for 5+ years now.

If I missed anything with my explanation feel free to ask questions - I'm happy to answer!

Please watch this with the volume up. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Please watch this with the volume up. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I literally have tears from laughing so hard. 🤣🤣🤣

This pig took too much corn mash.

Y'all got me so triggered, for real.

Y'all got me so triggered, for real.

I did not spend 5 years in college doing some really hard shit just to squat out another baby in my 40s. I'm tryna live my truth so let me be honest real quick:  If I got pregnant right now I'd have to bippity-boppity-abort that thing. With my rotten-eggs having ass. 😂😂😂

Y'all just threw me back to the barely pre-teen "virginal" days when I couldn't have a stomach bug without being interrogated about whether I was pregnant. Then to the little bit older days when I was statutorily raped by a grown-ass man. And to the days of not being allowed a baby shower because I was "an unwed mother and it's improper." And then to the days of trying to navigate raising MY child not only as a single parent AND young person starting out on their own but with someone actively plotting against me and trying to take him (most of my high school friends didn't see the struggle of that last one so I ain't mad at'cha).

DESPITE all that I loved and continue to love being a parent. I got 2 of the coolest people I know in my life because of that. But for the first time in my entire whole ass life I have complete control (as much as one can, anyway) and I'm not giving that up to make another human.

And, there is this:  I've evolved beyond "womanhood." I haven't identified as "female" in years. I've posted in words that I'm genderqueer and about how excited I am to have an "X" on my ID. I haven't posted a pic of myself in ages because being told that I'm beautiful or pretty feels wrong and uncomfortable. I know y'all are just trying to boost ya girl when you do that and I love and appreciate our sisters being shown love but I'm no longer a sister - I'm a sibling. I can't pretend to know where I fit anymore but I know where I don't.

At this stage in my life I consider myself a parent. I don't feel like "motherhood" is accurate for my here and now and as fucked up as it might sound it's because I'm happy. For me, being / becoming a mother was a traumatizing, scary, isolating experience where I was given the greatest gift I've ever received yet simultaneously ostracized for receiving that gift. I was so much more alone than most of you knew - it literally was just me and my Shadow for a long time and I was so small, y'all. I... uh... god damn, I'm crying.

I can't act like there are times that I don't yearn to mix my DNA with Shaun's. I know he would cherish me and our li'l big head, pale-ass baby offspring. He would help me with the sickness and I wouldn't be worried about losing my place as Section Leader at band camp. He wouldn't cheat on li'l delicate, precious, pregnant me and give me Chlamydia and disappear leaving me to struggle with the enormity of what was happening to my body and my life alone. It would be beautiful and amazing and this fantasy child would have it so much better than what I was able to provide alone.

But see, that's not the timeline we're living in. Here in this reality I'll be 39 years old this month. I (willingly and happily) spent my youth raising my child. I now have psoriatic arthritis and it's better for my joints to keep my weight down. I'd like to start strength training to help ward off osteoporosis and get this body right. Between college and mental health issues over the past few years I've neglected me. And me (whoever they is now) deserves my care, too; I should get to see myself through to my final form. I'm not finished growing yet.

I don't know. These are my "I got up to pee and I can't fall back asleep" thoughts. If you feel more confused about who I am than you were before you read this, then welcome to my world. I've been struggling with it for years. I'm at that "caterpillar is goo" stage of life, so just bare (it all) with me, I guess.

I'm about to share something helpful...

I'm about to share something helpful, but before I do I need to preface it with:  In most states this is illegal to do without a permit.  But in the spirit of doing more good than harm, here you go:

I see so many well-intentioned people trying to "help" little animals they find during the spring and if you don't know what you're doing - you're probably hurting rather than helping.  Unfortunate, but true.

In Alabama, it is SO EASY to get a license to kill (hunt, fish, whatever), but, just fuck you if you want to help an innocent life (pardon the language, but it took me literal years to find a way to get a permit to rehab wildlife and the state found a technicality on which to revoke it that same year).  However, I did learn how to keep some baby animals alive and I'm going to share that with you now.

First of all, NEVER FEED A COLD BABY MAMMAL.

Little mammals need to be warm in order to digest.  If you can't reunite a baby with it's natural mother then the first thing you need to do it put it in a small, dark place (like a shoebox with airholes).  Take an old sock and fill it with some dry rice, tie the end off, and microwave it for a minute or so and put it in the box with the baby.  This is what we call a "rice mama."  Let the baby get warm.  Use small blankets or washcloths to keep it from getting burned and to give it something to snuggle with.  You can do similar with a warm water bottle or even a heating pad, but it's very important that you only put warmth on one side of the box.  You (probably) don't want to cook this baby.

Second of all, if you don't have a baby kitten, puppy, goat, or cow, DO NOT FEED IT kitten, puppy, goat, or cow milk.  You can buy milk specifically for the animal that you are trying to help; milk that was made to closely resemble what they would get from their mother, and that is what you should feed them.  Feeding a baby an incorrect diet can cause diarrhea which can lead to dehydration and death.  Milk for many species can be found here:  www.foxvalleynutrition.com.  Another source for milk is www.henryspets.com.  Henry's Pets also has great nipples and syringes for teensy mouths.

I'm not interested in going into how often to feed what species of animal; that is easily Googleable information and depends entirely on the species and age of whoever you've found.  But be aware that many newborn mammals sleep a lot and kind of like humans will get a little wiggly / fussy when hungry.  The one thing I will say here is that YOU SHOULD NURSE IN THE SAME POSITION A WILD MOTHER WOULD.  I LOATHE seeing videos of people nursing baby puppies and kittens on their backs.  If their mother was nursing them they would most likely be laying flat on their tummies.  Try to mimic what would happen in nature to avoid aspiration and pneumonia.

Third, after feeding, YOU GOTTA WIPE THE BUTT!

Most very young mammals cannot pee or poop without stimulation.  Wiping with a warm cloth from tummy to under the tail will get them going.

After that, babies need rest.  I know that small animals are adorable and that it's hard to resist holding and cuddling and taking selfies with them, but they really need to sleep.  Whether you're trying to rehab or steal a baby from nature to keep as your own will decide how you handle this.  Tryna keep a baby?  You probably want to keep it on your person and handle it a lot.  That can also be a good source of warmth.  Planning to release?  Do the opposite and leave it alone as much as possible while still maintaining a heat source.

If you've decided to keep the wildlife you were helping, then proper nutrition is important forever.  The Henry's Pets site linked above has squirrel diet.  www.Mazuri.com has omnivore diet that is good for opossums as long as you supplement it with veggies (especially dark, leafy greens) and yogurt and the like.  Again, do not feed them cat food or dog food because they are not cats or dogs.  Too much protein will cripple an opossum with Metabolic Bone Disease.  You can tell things have already gone wrong for them if their eyes bug out. That is due to changes in the skull.  It is not curable and the opossum will not be releasable if this happens, but it is very easily prevented with proper nutrition.

I will put photos in the comments of a healthy vs. unhealthy opossum.

Baby bunnies are hard to keep alive by even an experienced rehabber, so good luck with that.  Many birds are federally protected because of migration so I would highly recommend getting them to a rehab facility.  And finally, be careful with who you let know that you have wildlife in your possession.  Alabama Fish and Game can and ABSOLUTELY WILL come take and euthanize any wildlife that they deem unreleasable - so take a baby from nature at your (and unfortunately the babys) own risk.

Last bit of info I can share on this subject:  If you have a soft heart or live in an area where you encounter lone baby wildlife pretty frequently then the best thing I can recommend is keeping some supplies and formula on hand.  Be well and try to do no harm.  ❤

Official first day of Spring Post:

Official first day of Spring Post:

If you find baby wildlife the first course of action is to reunite with mama if possible while interfering as little as possible. If it is not possible to reunite baby with mama, put in a dark warm safe place while you seek help. 

For Anniston and Calhoun County, specifically, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES call The Anniston Museum of Natural History. As of my last interaction with them they were not a qualified rehab facility and definitely didn't behave as such (they crippled opossums with what would have been easily remedied diet and then gave them away as pets when they became too burdensome. Ask me how I know).

For mammals (furry animals with nipples), please contact Wild Mammal Care of Alabama 205.871.7803.

For birds, please contact Alabama Wildlife Center.

Source:  I rehabbed with a state permit baby squirrels and opossums for a year.

Please share and save some lives.

In the spirit of all that is happening in the world today...

In the spirit of all that is happening in the world today I thought I'd dig up this old message.  All I had to do was search "race traitor" in my inbox.  I blocked him so that he didn't have the option to unblock and communicate with me again.

Yes, people like this do exist.  And yes, he is from Alabama.  But yeah - go ahead and tell yourself that black people are treated as equals.  Some people don't even view them as the same SPECIES as white people.

Black Lives Matter.  And they deserve far better treatment than they've been getting.

Read this post. The change is noticeable.

Read this post. The change is noticeable.

TLDR; Things change. People change.

Two years ago (2016) I had trouble believing that I actually could attend JSU. Though I don't believe in fate I never felt that it was "meant" for someone like me. I started there Fall of last year, so I'm just over 1 year in as of now.

One year ago (2017) I was BROKEN. I was NOT ok. Leaving Gadsden State was HARD; Student Support Services @ GSCC had become an important part of my life, and the people there helped me in so many ways. It was so scary to be away from them, but I couldn't let that stop me. I'd worked so hard to get to JSU. That one transition alone was tough enough, but then it was made even harder by the fact that so many changes took place that first semester.

My family changed - I lost a very dear member, trailing several back-to-back losses of very dear souls. I gained one very special family member in September who was still dealing with that transition when tragedy struck her relatives, leaving her suddenly in the same day losing an aunt and a brother. I'd left my full-time job of 9 years to pursue my education, which was a huge leap of faith not only in myself but in my relationship with Shaun. So a lot of things were terrifying and different and wrong and it all came to a head when I lost my composure over a LINEAR ALGEBRA TEST in DSS @ JSU.

I was scheduled to take an exam there and I knew that I was going to fail it. With everything that was going on I hadn't studied like I needed to. Since I was there early I asked if I could sit on the couch in DSS and study for a few minutes. The nice lady told me no, but that I could walk to the TMB and study there. I told her that I could not. She tried to tell me that it was just around the corner, but I repeated to her that I couldn't go as I began to shake with tears welling up. She asked if I was ok and I wailed "No!" and started crying uncontrollably.

In that moment I was not embarrassed or ashamed. I was truly and completely overwhelmed to the point of mental breakdown - I literally couldn't have made myself walk to the TMB or do anything else - not one single thing. I was empty. I was more stressed than I'd ever been. I needed help. The universe sent it in the form of Mr. Len, who was a counselor just returning from lunch. He talked to me. He consoled me. He looked shocked when I told him the things that were happening in my life. He called and made an appointment at Student Health for me, which I kept. The doctor put me back on antidepressants and I survived. I dropped Linear Algebra, but I survived.

Now (2018) things have settled. JSU feels good and right to me. I'm learning a lot and I no longer feel like it's "not meant for me." I feel as though I've earned my place there. I no longer talk about graduation in terms of "if" - instead it's "when." (May 2020 is the goal). I'm counting down semesters (there's basically 3 after this one, not counting summer). I'm more than halfway to a Bachelor's degree. There are still some hard classes coming my way, but I've come too far and fought too hard to let that stop me.

The largest hurdle by far has been the mental blocks and the personal growth it's taken to get to the mindset of "I can probably do this." I've made a lot of sacrifices - time with family and friends, hobbies, helping animals - but I keep telling myself that it will be worth it one day. Change is hard - even positive change. I've been struggling with that since starting at Gadsden State. For the majority of this time on top of classes, my brain has been struggling to process the fact that I might actually earn a degree and launch a career. I've always thought myself to be an open-minded person, but changing my mind about my own limitations has proven incredibly difficult.

Anyway, that's enough deep-thinking and reflection for a Saturday morning. I'm off to do homework and chill.

It's been about two weeks since I last posted...

I have about a week left before I start back to school. My last post had an optimistic tone; yet I have done almost nothing but sleep since I wrote it. The only real thing I've managed to do was get through the holidays and Google some stuff. My research has led me to this conclusion:  I am probably in the midst of a mid-life crisis. Hear me out.

At the end of 2014 I was diagnosed with Psoriatic Arthritis. It was at that point that I stopped and took a good, hard look at my life. I could see that I was on the down-hill slide (health-wise). I knew I was not living up to my potential. I was stagnate (career-wise). I didn't have any money saved, I had no retirement plans, and if there were any emergencies I didn't have a way to get through them without getting farther behind. So I did something drastic (and thankfully it was positive):  I went back to college.

During 2015 I worked and went to school. I felt as optimistic as I could despite struggling with my physical health. That was the year I couldn't walk up or down stairs by myself. Most of the medications I was put on didn't help - or if they did, left me with pretty bad side effects. Fortunately (or unfortunately, I don't know), by the time I saw a rheumatologist that November my symptoms were under control enough that he didn't want to change my medication. Then I lost my insurance... so you know - that was great.

I started off 2016 uninsured and a little heavier than I was used to being because I'd hurt so much during 2015 that I became much less active. I tried to take it easy on myself, but being in college and around so many young, healthy people... well, even though I've never been one to focus on my looks I gotta say that my self-esteem was starting to take a hit. Not only that, but my hobbies were starting to slip away. I wasn't making jewelry anymore, I was doing my nails less, and I wasn't taking in as many animals. Then, 2016 kicked me while I was down. Dad's house burned, killed his pets, took almost everything he had. I lost Lowrider and Scooter, as well as some of the smaller ani-pals. A pipe burst in my house and it flooded. You know - all that good stuff. Enter antidepressants.

Then 2017 rolled around. Hard classes:  Physics, Calculus II. I questioned so many times if I should keep going because that shit was kicking my ass. Shaun lost his mom. My bones hurt and my skin flared - I suffered through it because I had no insurance and all I could get for medication was methotrexate (whose side effects are worse than my disease). My neighbor stole my power and water - super stressful. I was barely working at that point because school was taking so much out of me, so that was the last damn thing I needed. My nails were a mess - no time for hobbies. Self-care went down the toilet. The only thing I had to look forward to was JSU.

Made that transition - it was harder than I expected. The adjustment from one college to the other was rough. New place, new teachers, and only one person I knew. Classes were tough and took a lot out of me. I left a job I'd worked for 9 years to focus on school - yet another huge transition. Beyonce died. Emma died. Tasha died. I died inside. I melted down at school. I dropped a class. I made my first C. More transition - Shadow moved in with Shaun to gain a little independence and so Kira could have his room. Tragedy struck Kira's family. No self-care; my life was upside down and I was hanging by a thread. I didn't know who I was anymore. Felt like antidepressants couldn't save me now.

So this is where I am right now. I don't look like the Blu I remember. I don't feel like the Blu I remember. I don't work where the Blu I remember worked. I don't do the things that the Blu I remember used to do. Not that I have ever been the most outgoing, but I barely talk to my friends anymore, I don't seem to go anywhere besides school, and I don't do nails or take in animals or give back to the community. Even right now I'd choose cinnamon rolls over chocolate. I don't know who I am anymore. I've lost myself. I've lost a lot in the past two years. It sucks.

What's even worse is that more transition is coming. The kids are both having major anxiety and depression over graduating high school in a few months. I generally recall that as being a very happy and exciting time of life, but honestly, none of the seniors at Saks seem pumped. They all seem worried about their future and that is the saddest thing. Shaun and I both constantly reassure Kira and Shadow that they don't have to move out or anything like that - we just want them to make some good life decisions about their futures. Still, they are struggling, too, and it hurts my heart.

So now what? I would LOVE to pretend that I've had enough bad shit happen that I get to be ok in 2018, but realistically I know that is not how life works. Fortunately (unfortunately?) I have a lot left to lose - even though I might have by and large lost sight of that in the midst of everything that has happened.

 
In any case I still don't know when or how I'm going to be ok. I don't know how I'm going to get through this semester with as tired and unmotivated as I've been. I still have no idea who I'm becoming because I'm sure not the person I remember being. I don't really know what to do with myself besides stay the course I started and try to finish school. I would really hate to crap out now that I am more than half-way done, but I am having some serious anxiety about school and about working after I graduate. I don't know. The only hope I have is that from everything I've read after the mid-life crisis (which is where you sort of bottom out), your happiness generally increases until you die so that is something to look forward to.

I'm really sorry for this drawn-out, downer of a post, but I really needed to get this out. As far as I know none of my friends have gone through this yet so I feel pretty alone. I know that I am generally on the young side for this to be happening, but I did have Shadow earlier than most people have kids so it would make sense since my boy is just 3 months shy of being 18. If anyone out there has advice for me feel free to share. Otherwise, I'm planning to step up my self-care a lot and just hang in there. I am going to see a therapist at JSU once classes start back and since I have a big break between some of my classes I'm going to try to take advantage of some of their free fitness classes. I did notice a boost in my overall well-being from having to walk so much so surely it will help if I can get a little more exercise in.

I hope you all are doing well. I'm not, yet, but I'm going to keep trying. That is all any of us can do.  🤎🤎🤎

Marry Me Blu

I've been trying for almost 2 weeks to get good pictures / videos of my proposal polishes.  I have been failing, but I did finally get a wheel to swatch them on and since Shaun has a better camera and bigger hands for wheel-spinning I tasked him with making the video.  This is how the polishes look in outdoor lighting.  I'm going to try to get one more of them this week in indoor lighting because they are beautiful both ways.

Shaun worked with Lindsey, the magic-maker behind Tonic Nail Polish to come up with this.  His goal was to make a custom color for me that was a brown / olive green shifter.  "Marry Me Blu" was THE ONE, but the other prototypes turned out so beautiful that he asked to name them and buy them as a collection so that is what this is.

So without further delay - here is the Delta X Collection, given to me on 3.14.  The names of the polishes are math puns since I really dig math (despite my struggles this semester).

1:  Marry Me Blu 

2:  Trapezoidal Pool (Trapezoidal Rule)

3:  Convergent Seabreeze (Convergent Series)

4:  Functional Ambivalence (Functional Equivalence)

5:  Divinely Integral (Definite Integral)

6:  No Name (free prototype)

7:  Partial to Derivatives (Partial Derivative)

8:  Tangent Pine (Tangent Line)

9:  Differential Elation (Differential Equation)

My Favorite Nail Polish EVER

Shaun had a custom polish made for me. A whole collection, actually, but this is my favorite. 😃❤️

Peep that polish name...

Edited to add:

Y'all... OF COURSE I said yes.  We've been together for almost 9 years because we like each other a little bit.  😛

Wedding stuff isn't really my jam.  I don't have time to think about it right now, anyway.  I've gotta finish school for financial aid reasons first so it'll be a couple of years yet.  We do everything in our own time and in our own way, so no rush.  🙂

𝝿𝝿𝝿𝝿𝝿

Apparently, this has been in the works since January. There is a whole collection of polishes because he had a hard time choosing just one and he knew I'd want them all. 😂 Two of my very favorite colors are brown and olive green, so "Marry Me Blu" shifts between those two colors. It's PERFECT.

Today was a regular day. I had just gotten out of class and he had just gotten off work. We were getting ready to go to be adults and buy groceries and I was sitting in my desk chair getting my list together. He came in, was squatted down checking on Bruce, then turned around and said something like "How'd this get in the floor?" and handed a polish to me. I knew I had not lost a polish so I looked at the name. I know my eyes got huge and I was like "Are you really asking me?" and he was like "Yeah" so I was like "Fucking yeah, then!" 😂 We are so romantic. Then he gave me the rest of the collection.

This was super great. He's amazing and creative and supportive and thoughtful and I love him. We're nerds. He named the rest of the polish collection with math names because I like that. Here's to 9 years in, plus many more! ❤

So... my uneventful Saturday changed.

So... my uneventful Saturday changed.

My friend Sherri sent me a message saying that an opossum with babies was trapped in a pipe at her work.  The cops nor the fire department would come out until Monday.  🙁  That was just not good enough so I went to see what I could do.

The pipe was long and kind of narrow.  It was longer than my arm and I was pretty sure I could not reach her.  I took the towel I'd brought and cut it into strips and dropped it down thinking she'd climb up.  I know it wasn't a long time, but I waited quietly for an hour and she never came.  So, I started to get worried that she was really stuck.

I put on a glove that Sherri had in her car and tried to reach down.  I could barely brush her nose with my hand and only because she was smiling up at me.  Anyone who knows about opossums knows that they are usually gonna open their mouth real big and show you all of their teeth.  What most people don't seem to understand is that it's all show.

I felt like I was running out of options so I did the only logical thing I could think of:  I stuck my hand in her mouth.  When I found her top fangs I put my thumb over her nose and tried to pull.  She barely budged.  🙁  I wanted to cry.

We tried few other things to get her out, but nothing worked.  So I mustered up my balls and reached in again.  I braced myself against the ground, stuck my hand in her mouth, and PULLED.  Slow, but firm.  And I got her.  😃

I feel really shaken because I felt like I had to be hurting her, but I'm surely not as shaken as she is.

She is resting now in a cat carrier inside my bathroom.  I've given her a towel and some wet cat food and water.  She needs to be warm and get dry and just rest.  I don't know how long she was down there, but I'm gonna hold on to her for a few days and make sure she and the baby (or babies!) are ok.

Speaking of babies - I was really concerned that I might have lost a few down the pipe so I went all MacGyver on this shit and rigged a mirror on a pole to make sure I couldn't see anyone else down there.  As far as I could tell the pipe is now empty.  I would NOT have been able to sleep tonight if I hadn't checked.

P. S.  I'm not saying that anyone should go and test this out, but when I put my hand in her mouth she turned her head.  She did NOT bite me.  This scared, hungry, damp mama opossum did NOT bite me.  They are so docile.  They get such a bad wrap because they are convincing actors, but seriously, please don't ever hurt one.  They wouldn't hurt you.

Dropped off Olive today.

Dropped off Olive today.  I hear she's doing well and I'll see photos of her tomorrow with her new family.  Her new life is going to be so great and for that I am thankful and happy.  But I'm telling you - it just never gets easier to say goodbye.