I posted the other day about dumping Adrian's food in the trash...

I posted the other day about dumping Adrian's food in the trash and trying to feed her the empty can.

I just smeared Estrogen cream all over my face by accident. Thank goodness I caught myself before applying the wrong cream to my downstairs. 😂

The exhaustion is real. Goodnight, y'all. 😂😂😂

I'm so exhausted.

I'm so exhausted. Like, the brainpower I'm using in this bootcamp is next-level.

It's not a complaint, though. I'm learning a lot and having fun.

I've gotten a lot better at HTML and CSS and JavaScript individually, but now we're on a combination of the 3 called JSX. I love the organization of pages and the efficiency of creating page elements once and calling them to where they're needed, but this is so much syntax and it looks weird. 😂

It was our first day using it, so I'm sure it'll get easier.

I gotta go to sleep, though. My brain is DONE with this day.

I just dumped Adrian's wet food...

I just dumped Adrian's wet food into the trash and tried to feed her the empty can.

The exhaustion is real. It's barely past 8:30 and I've tucked myself in. I'll wake up when I wake up tomorrow. 😴😴😴

Hey, Nerds Who Love Cats, check this out:

Hey, Nerds Who Love Cats, check this out:

In the Web Dev bootcamp, we often need to generate Lorem Ipsum as filler text. One of the instructors gave us a few links to choose from, so of course I chose the cat one. It's funnier than I thought it would be (crusty butthole, catasstrophe 👀). 😂😂😂 I'm not sure if it would fly in a work environment, but I definitely used it today for our challenge.

Here is the link in case anyone wants to try it:

http://www.catipsum.com/

I had to recover from a headache when I got home from class.

I had to recover from a headache when I got home from class. I had a pretty good day; I'm still really enjoying myself. ...But I did get stressed and internally melted down because I couldn't find a file in my computer. 😬

I was supposed to be learning to use Tailwind for my projects, but instead I was panicking and searching my folders and repositories for a file I'd just used the previous day, or possibly the day before. I was hung up and couldn't stop spinning out for about 45 minutes. It was so dumb.

I eventually found the file and made a note in my Rocketbook about its location. We'd done something different in class and weren't uploading those files to the student server like we had been, so that was part of my confusion.

Anyway, I was fine after that, although headachey. I don't love it when I lose control of my brain like that, but I did need part of the data in that file to move on to the next thing, so it wasn't completely unwarranted. But I know that even if I hadn't needed it I would have done the same thing. I struggle to make progress when things are in disarray or don't make sense or I feel lost. I need to feel oriented and calm to be at my best.

Week 2 of 12 is in the books. I feel like I've learned so much. I have a lot of homework this weekend, but that's to be expected. At least I'm really into doing it. 😊

We watched this in class today.

We watched this in class today. It's pretty interesting if you like nerd stuff. 😊

We're officially starting on our Personal Website Projects in class...

We're officially starting on our Personal Website Projects in class and I'm so excited I could puke.  😂

I'm writing this little posty-post...

I'm writing this little posty-post, having a late dinner, and dragging my tired butt to bed.

The first week of Web Development bootcamp is officially behind me.

I don't think I realized until this week that I am getting actual college credit for taking this class at CNM.  Like, I'm really a student again.  I get my student ID on Monday.  I am not complaining.  I just thought it was like a career thing or something, and not considered an actual class.  So that's neat.

This is 100% everything I wanted it to be (so far).  Even before it officially began on Monday, I was learning things through the pre-work and making connections with people.

For example, part of the pre-work was an HTML course on LinkedIn.  I took it, even though I've been messing with HTML since the days of Myspace.  I knew from my time at JSU that it's a markup for web pages, basically the bones of your website.  But this course on LinkedIn went IN DEPTH, like, telling the difference between <em> and <i> (which both make things appear in italics) or the difference between <strong> and <b> (which both make things appear bold).  [If you care, the difference is that they are dependent on the context of the needed bold or italics.]  Also, <center> is deprecated.  I didn't know that.  HTML has officially left as much styling as possible to CSS.

I wasn't too concerned about picking up HTML or CSS because I've dabbled in them for ages and felt ok about it.  JavaScript has been hard for me for many years, though, and I feel like I'm finally starting to get it.  We have 5 small coding assignments to do, due Tuesday.  We did the first (and easiest one) together as a class so the teacher could show us how to run and check them.  I finished one yesterday, and two today.  I'm mostly done with my 5th (it's supposed to be a challenge for extra credit), but we haven't gone over the information I need to complete it.  I asked the teacher if I was allowed to Google, and he asked me what I was doing.  I told him, and he told me to just wait for the material on Monday.  I told him I thought it was labeled a "challenge" for extra credit because it was harder because we didn't know what we were doing yet.  😂  So I'm feeling really good about things so far.  And I'm really enjoying all of my homework.  There is just kind of a LOT of it.

Even though things are moving at a fast pace, there is a lot of hands-on work and problem-solving and I really think it's what I needed.  I've been curious how all of this works together for a long time, so I'm very interested in all of it.  Our instructors take the time to explain everything really in-depth.  Maybe I needed my hand held to pick up JavaScript.  Or maybe repeated exposure to it is finally paying off.  Or maybe the fact that I'm doing this for myself and not a grade or work has taken the pressure off and I can just think and absorb and try without pressure.  I don't know.  But I'm really proud that I've completed 3.5 coding assignments after only 1 week with just referencing my notes (and 1 small Google because I knew what I was trying to say, but not the syntax for saying it).  It's a big deal for me.

I also love my classmates.  We're a mix of everything.  We have 5 girls and 4 guys.  We have at least 2 people who have moved to the US from other countries, possibly 3.  One person is Native.  We're from all different backgrounds/levels of experience.  And we're just having the best time getting to know each other and help each other.  I think I'm gonna be so busy and having so much fun that these next 11 weeks are going to fly by.

Anyway, that's how it's going.  Great so far!

Here's a pic of one of the code assignments from today.  🙂  I know it's not very impressive to anyone who knows how to do this already, but I'm so grateful to be making progress!

Home from the first day of class.

Home from the first day of class. It went well. But I'm exhausted and have homework.

Also, Google said it would take me 36 minutes to get to class. I left with an hour to get there, and was still 5 minutes late. 😬 I guess I will leave even earlier next time.

Orientation was today.

Orientation was today. It went well.

There are 9 people in the Web Development boot camp. Five of us are women!

This is the first time I've ever seen us outnumber guys in a STEM class.

Have a closet selfie.

Have a closet selfie. It's been some years since I was feeling myself enough to capture my image on "film."

In 2014 when my psoriatic arthritis flared up it was hard to walk - much less exercise. Being in constant pain (plus some other things going on) sent me into a pretty serious depression spiral. Until it was bad enough that I went on medication I coped by eating junk food, which exacerbated the pain and depression. Then college and the stress that brought kept me eating junk food even with medication.

Needless to say, over those 6 years until I graduated I packed about 20 extra pounds onto my 4 foot, 9 inch frame. That probably doesn't sound too bad for an average-sized person, but being so short it was very noticeable and my self-esteem took a hit... obviously contributing to my depression. When I say that the last several years have been a struggle it is not an exaggeration.

Anyway, this is me right now. No filter, no editing, no makeup. Bonus points for goofy "I woke up like this" bed hair. 😂 I don't have a scale at home, but as of my last doctor appointment I was down 10 lbs. The fun thing about that is that I wasn't even trying. I've been enjoying my body by roller skating and staying busy organizing and cleaning. My depression is leveled out enough that I don't crave junk food 24/7. I still have down days once in a while, but honestly it just reminds me to be grateful for all of the good ones.

I'm still thicc, but I feel my muscles and endurance growing. My clothes fit better and I'm more confident than I've been in so, so long. My psoriasis is down to some very small, tolerable patches / spots even without medication. My bones haven't hurt me in quite a while, thank goodness. All in all I feel like I'm finally on an upward spiral and I hope it continues. I've fought my battles and I'd love to spend some time reaping the rewards and seeing what I can accomplish without my body and mind working against me.

For any of my friends and family who are struggling, please hang in there. It gets better. ❤️

Me, this time last year. 😂😂😂

Me, this time last year. 😂😂😂

I miss having a math class, for real, though. 💔

I love this so much. 😂😂😂

I love this so much. 😂😂😂

College math...

College math was so much more fun for me because of the discussions and explanations; it was beautiful and interesting and I fell in love. I started school with an open mind; I told myself that I would go as far as I could go and see where that takes me. I don't even have the words to express how much mindset affects performance. I felt like I was having a life crisis through several years of schooling because I was learning things I never thought I'd comprehend.

Attitudes and preconceived notions about math / math abilities need to change. Discussions need to happen. Math deserves better - and students do, too.

Tonight is bittersweet.

Tonight is bittersweet. One of my best friends, Dinorah, is moving away and this is her last night in Alabama.

I met Dinorah at JSU and we clicked. I never expected to make a life-long friend in college since there is an age gap between me and most of the other students, but damn I'm glad it happened. I don't know how I would have made it through school without her. She was my sunshine on some pretty dark days. We took some tough classes together. She was the first person who invited me to be a gym partner. I don't know that I ever would have gotten out of my comfort zone and tried yoga without her let alone go to a gym at all. She helped me move when I moved into Shaun's house. She's been a friend in the truest sense of the word.

I feel like the pandemic robbed me of precious time I could have spent with her: More time getting Boba tea. Going out to eat. Choking out in restaurants while she gently embraced me from behind. 😂😂😂 Working out when our schedules meshed right. Watching Netflix and having pizza and Gooey Butter Bars. Hanging out with Shaun and / or Jonathon. Listening to good music. Watching videos on repeat of our wife, Christine and the Queens. Succulent shopping. Going places. Just chilling with the cats and pups. I loved hearing her exclaim "Faithie!" every time she came over. Faith loved her, too. Just talking and laughing and being, well, friends. I needed that. I still do.

I'm not throwing myself a pity party, though. Yeah, I'mma miss my girl, but I can't express how proud I am of her for graduating college and less than a month after that being prepared to pack her ass up and GO. That takes hard work and planning and SHE DID IT. She's been a hard worker for as long as I've known her. Despite being young she's got a good head on her shoulders and I know she's going to be fine - better than fine, really. She's going to do great things in the world and I can't wait to see them.

Moving across the country is a big, bold move. I don't think I would have had the guts to do that at her age. I'm going to be worried for a few days until she arrives at her destination, but I'm so ready for her to have the freedom and opportunity that comes with getting out of Anniston, AL. She has worked so hard and deserves all the good things that life has to offer.

I love you, Pinoran. I love you so damn much. Me and Shaun are here for you always - no matter the distance between us. Have a safe trip and know that I will be internet stalking you until I know you've made it to your new home safely! ❤️❤️❤️

I haven't really said much on here since announcing my graduation...

I haven't really said much on here since announcing my graduation because we've been busy moving.  I guess this is me checking in.

Before the pandemic hit I told Shaun that I wanted him to make the BIGGEST deal out of me graduating because it's been such a hard journey and it would be a massive accomplishment for me.  I don't care to recap every negative thing that's happened to me since I started college in 2015, but suffice it to say I've hung in there despite a lot of stress and major losses, and poor physical and mental health.  I'd planned to attend the graduation ceremony and I wanted a dinner party at Baja, at the very least.  Obviously none of that is going to happen and while I have a small amount of disappointment over it I know that FAR too many people have had much bigger losses due to COVID so I am not complaining.

In other news:  The house is coming along nicely.  The sun room looks great in my opinion.  We have about half of the animals moved in.  We brought Bruce (ball python) the other day, and brought the tortoises last night.  Tort Baby (predictably) dug a little burrow and went straight to sleep after the car ride.  Nom, on the other hand, peed and pooped in his carrier.  BLEGH.  It was probably a good thing, though, because there was a lot of poop and it looks like he might have been constipated.  On the bright side, he did not seem to mind riding in the car.  He didn't attempt to get out of his carrier.  Just chilled and pooped.  😂😂😂  I love having a utility sink in the sun room because it was super convenient to give him a bath before putting him in his new house.  Unlike Tort Baby, Nom explored and walked a lot and then pooped some more.  I bet he's feeling a lot better today.  I noticed he hadn't been his usual social self and I was wondering why.  I hope that explains it.

Last night despite the rain and darkness Shaun and I moved our big ass couch that we got in February to the house.  I don't think we'll ever buy another couch that isn't a sectional because we moved all but one piece of it in two trips in our little cars.  Not having to carry / maneuver one big piece of furniture is AWESOME. Also, I think it looks great here; it fills out the living room nicely.  Shaun's been doing a ton of work around here, but I could tell his brain was done working on anything else until he got the living room set up.  I totally understand preoccupation and mental blocks, so I was like "Yeah, let's do it.  Let's move this couch in the dark and the rain so we can move on to other stuff."  😂  I can tell he feels happier having a place to rest and take a break.

Other than that things have been going pretty well in regards to moving.  Shaun and I have decided that since the lease for the kids apartment is up in mid-January, they'll be staying in our house in Anniston while we get it ready to sell.  While that house is in a far better neighborhood than the house I owned for 14 years, we're still not comfortable leaving it empty.  I think that will work out great.  No rent for the kids and we get the benefit of their presence and their help while they are there.  So we are trying to go ahead and get moved out so that they can move in.

Anyway, I'm staying busy, as usual.  My stress level has dipped knowing that I passed my class, which is nice.  I basically went straight from the school mindset to the moving mindset, so the fact that I'm done with college hasn't really sank in.  I felt excited knowing that I passed my class, but that hasn't translated into "no more classes or homework" in my brain yet.  I am planning to don my cap and gown and take some photos at JSU (hopefully this week), though.  Maybe that will help it feel real.  Without a graduation I just haven't felt that there is a period at the end of the college sentence.  I know that probably sounds goofy because a lot of people skip the ceremony, but I earned it.  I need something to punctuate the end of this chapter.

Well, I'm off to go try to get some things done.  I hope you all are doing well.  If not, don't forget that things can change in the blink of an eye.  Hang in there.  That's the only advice I can give.  ❤

So... I did better on my final than I thought.

Well... I had ice cream for breakfast, spent too much money on nail polish, and had a good cry.

Well... I had ice cream for breakfast, spent too much money on nail polish, and had a good cry.

Now I'm helping Shaun with his father's estate paperwork and commencing with the move to the other house.

I am still disappointed with myself, but it's not over yet. If there's another semester in store for me, that's ok. I enjoyed this material and I'll ace the class if I take it again.

I hope you all are doing well. If not, try to make the best of it. That's all you can do. ❤️

By my estimate I made mid-50s on the final.

By my estimate I made mid-50s on the final. That is not enough to raise my grade to passing. I missed 2 problems for sure because I ran out of time. I missed one because I can't fucking factor, apparently. I don't deserve to pass.

I'm in bed for the night; it's my last sleep before I either graduate or fail a class for the first time.

I'm in bed for the night; it's my last sleep before I either graduate or fail a class for the first time.

After my exam I'll either catch up on social media or have a crippling let-down migraine.

Regardless of what tomorrow brings I'm gonna be feeling things.

Goodnight, friends. ❤️