So VERY Grateful.

The last few days have been rough. One of my very dear friends lost a relative (suddenly in a car accident) and it's been so far the most emotionally trying experience I've had in a long time. She was only 16 with her 17th birthday coming on Monday. There's only one word I can think of to describe her - friendly. She was always so sweet to me and my kiddo and we're gonna miss her. I realize that I did not grow up with this girl or even know her that well, but the effects of her death have struck me pretty hard.

I've seen what the whole family is going through and it kills me to imagine what they are feeling. I've had nightmares before about losing my child and it panics me for days. I honestly don't know if I could survive something like that. It's like I just wish there was something I could say to make things all better, but I know that there is no such thing. I hate that so much. I plan to be around, give a lot of hugs, and do whatever else I can to help them cope...

This just really sucks... I'm very sad, too. I've cried a lot in the past few days. I'm crying right now, even. I don't even know what else to say. She was so pretty, all peaceful looking... and a ton of people showed up to see her. She seemed to really have a lot of friends. It's just so sad. ... I'm really glad that part is over with.

Today it felt absolutely wonderful to have my Shadow back (he's spent a lot of time at his grandmother's house while all of this has gone on) and to be back home with the people I love. It was such a relief to have them near me. I cannot express how grateful I've felt to still have them. When a tragedy like this happens it makes you think about how lucky you are and about how much you shouldn't take the people you love for granted. You never know what the future holds... and that's a scary thought at the moment.

But I've got my kiddo here - safe and sound - and my SOS was good when I left him at home so I don't really feel that I could ask for more than that. I think I can finally relax enough to rest now so I guess I'm going to bed.