Some HUMAN shit in my yard.

I really wish I was kidding. But I'm not.

I came home today to my house smelling like a sewer. Two of my dogs had found said shit and got themselves covered in it. I had to bathe one and partially shave the other. Not really how I'd planned to spend my early afternoon home from work. I would have rather been admiring my almost-finished new roof. But no - I was dealing with shit. LITERAL SHIT.

I have a pretty strong idea of who it was - one of the young fellas working on my roof. I called the supervisor and asked if he thought it was possible one of his crew members shit in my yard and he said that he wouldn't put it past one of them. He said that one had needed to stop and use the bathroom before arriving at my house. That also happened to be the same guy who stopped about a half-hour into his work for a water break (I was still home when that happened). Diarrhea dehydrates you. Since it wasn't solid turds clinging to my dogs fur that was just another clue.

When we found the shit it was between my garage and little storage building. There was a place where there was less dust on my garage - as if someone had popped a squat. Underneath my storage building were two white shoe covers with some poop on them (whoever used them did a crappy job of wiping their ass, btw). They were bright white so I knew they hadn't been there long (aside from the fact that I clean my yard regularly of dog shit, sticks, and litter). I knew that they were recent. All signs pointed to someone shitting in my yard today. I'm not really happy about that.

Look - I understand that emergencies happen. But goddamn clean up after yourself! I have a child and dogs who go out in that yard. What the fuck, man?

I've sent word to this guy that I think he did that and that I'm not happy about it. I don't know what I expect to happen. But I do know that if I felt like returning the favor I'm cleaning up shit after 6 dogs almost every day. I'd be happy to return his shit to him - plus some interest. I really think I need someone to give me a few good reasons not to. SEVERIOUSLY.