I am frustrated and annoyed today. 🙁

I am frustrated and annoyed today.  🙁

I called Dr. Crawford's office since I hadn't heard back about medicine.  The lady I talked to (who I'm assuming was a nurse) asked me why I wouldn't take the Prednisone so I told her it made me sleepless and crazy.  She said, "How about half the dose?"  I told her I'd taken that for days until my pain returned and I was still unable to sleep.  So then she said "How about half a pill?"  I was just like, "If a whole pill didn't help, then why would I do that?"  So then she said "Ok" and we moved on.

She asked me about taking the methotrexate injection - which I haven't done.  I've been taking my pills because that's easier for me to manage.  I told her that I could not afford to buy the injections so she put me on hold and then came back and said that she could switch me to something else.  She told me to look up Otezla and let her know if I wanted to try that.

I called my insurance company and they said that their system for looking up what my copay would be is down, but that it was hard to get approved for that drug.  They want to know from the doctor WHY I need it and then they have to approve it before I can get it filled.

So my guess is that it would also be a $40 copay - like the methotrexate injection.  If it is then I also cannot afford it, either.  I called the nurse back and told her that and she said that there was a card or something that would knock $25 off, but that would still be $15 / week, which is $60 - $75 / month, unless I'm just misunderstanding something entirely.

So... I can't afford $60 - $75 a month for this shit.  I fail to understand why I can't just keep taking my methotrexate pills.  Yes, they may be a little less effective, but I'm a poor person and that's what I get, right?  I get what I can pay for.  I take what I can get.  That is the way the world works, right?  I'm used it and it's fin so I just don't understand.

I do not know what I am supposed to do, but I am frustrated - trying hard not to feel angry right now.  I am gonna go take a shower.  Somebody, tell me what the hell to do while I'm gone.  Please and THANK YOU.