I promise...

I promise that I will get around to responding to everyone's comments individually in few days, but right now I'm still raw and trying to process.

I do want to say that I've been reading every one of them, though, and I am overwhelmed by the love and support that has been shown to me, Aunt Taimi, and Oreo. This is not the ending any of us wanted or expected.

I am mourning not only the loss of one of the sweetest, cuddliest boys I've had the pleasure of knowing, but the loss of the life I'd planned to give him.  I wanted to spoil him. To have him crawl over everyone and everything in his way when it was time to snuggle. To have him stand politely with his face inches away from my face so I could kiss him easily. To kiss his kissy spot on top of his head. To see him outgrow his clothes and his need for clothes. To get him his first pup cup. To watch him feel well enough to play with Cub. I am beyond sad that none of those things will ever happen.

Instead of being able to look forward to all of those things, I'm fighting to accept that the short time we had was enough.

I'm trying to hold my focus on his good days. On the small health gains he made. On him enjoying his first plush bed. On him wanting to explore the house and be near us. On the bones he got to chew. On him resting on his back with his legs in the air. On him snuggling in with Carla, cuddling his Aunt Taimi, and playing with Kiwi. On his nightly cheese ritual. On the deep sleep he got knowing he was safe. On being welcomed home by Cub and the cats, like he just belonged.

The love we all (I'm including everyone who has been following his story) share for sweet Oreo was brief, but beautiful. It was big. I can't claim to know how the universe works, but I hope he felt every bit of love and support sent his way. I know that I sure have. And I am so grateful to not be going through this alone.

Thank you. Thank every one of you for your love and support and prayers and good vibes and kind words. It matters. It helps. I am not ok today, but I know I will be eventually. Because if we learned anything from Oreo, it was to hold on through the bad times until the better ones came back around. ❤️❤️❤️