Today was really good and I am happier than I've ever been.

Today was really good and I am happier than I've ever been.

Yeah. 🙂 I spent all day with Shaun. That's not unusual since I finished school, but I feel closer to him than ever. We're just next-level right now. I don't know. But it's great.

Are... Are these succulents growing in my yard?!

Are... Are these succulents growing in my yard?!

Y'all, these animals are doing the most right now.

Y'all, these animals are doing the most right now.

We still haven't found Rose and at this point I have to assume that she's been taken or killed because we've found no sign of her. She's very pretty and I'm choosing to hope for the best which is that someone picked her up and is taking good care of her. If she turns back up I will be happy, but we searched for 3 days on foot and by car, put flyers in all of the mailboxes in the area, and I posted her online and contacted the shelters, all to no avail. There has been no trace of her since 10 am on the morning she vanished. If she was still around I think we'd have heard something by now.

Cubba has seemed lonely but is doing ok. Since he gets out of the fence he's made friends with the neighborhood dogs so there's that. One of the neighbors I contacted while searching for Rose said that Cubba comes into his house and eats his dog food. 😂😂😂 Thankfully he wasn't mad, but I swear we feed him. Anyway, Cubba did push past Shaun into the house the other day so we decided that since I'd trained him before that we'll give him access to the sun room, at least. We ordered a doggie door for him. It arrived today with a funny story so here you go:

Shaun gets notifications on his phone when the security cameras detect movement. I heard him absolutely cracking up and asked him what was going on. He showed me video from our camera of our mail lady delivering Cubba's doggie door. Cubba walked up to her, tail wagging, but she didn't see him until she turned around. I guess he startled her because she used the doggie door as a shield and then hopped in the back of our truck. Cubba barked (I assume she startled him back) and then went to investigate her car. She got down and finished the delivery. While she was busy Cubba got in her car and took her pizza that I assume she'd brought for lunch.

Y'all, the video is hilarious but I'm not trying to embarrass this lady. If we somehow get in touch with her and she says it's ok to post I definitely will. We might need to send it in to AFV or something. I feel so bad but I laughed until my stomach hurt. I called the post office and got her name and they said she would be back tomorrow so we're going to leave her a card / note and some money because we at least owe her lunch. If anyone knows a woman named Phoenix who is a mail carrier in Talladega please have her get in touch with me because I am so sorry about all of this. If Shaun had seen the notification in time he would have gone out there and at least kept Cubba from stealing on her. I promise he is friendly and fed - he's just too smart for his own good!

The universe is kicking us when we're down.

The universe is kicking us when we're down. The pups new tags arrived today - the day after Rose went missing. I bought this style so it wouldn't be easy for them to snatch off while playing. I had tags like this for each member of my now-deceased pack and I loved them. These tags never came off or made any noise. They are etched deep and were still readable after years of wear and tear.

Me, Shaun, and Cubba just got in from distributing around 75 flyers into mailboxes (I don't even know if that's legal, but eh - I do crimes for animals. I need that on a shirt). While we were out we looked for her and called for her with no luck. I posted her to 2 lost pet websites before we left. I'm about to see if there are any shelters or rescues in the area that she may have been taken to. Aside from that I'm at a loss for what to do. 🙁

I know that I wasn't the best pet parent to her and that hurts. I was in survival mode with my mental health and school; honestly, no one has gotten the best from me in a couple of years and I hate that. But since I graduated and moved things have been a lot better. We brought the dogs here - into a yard with a lot more space. We bought them toys and treats and were spending time with them. We played with them and were socializing with Rose. She'd learned to fetch and seemed to like that a lot. When I CAN do better I do it. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that this timing STINKS. She went missing as things were improving and we were trying to form a closer relationship with her. I really hope our spazzy little Rose makes it home so we can continue working towards giving her the life all dogs deserve. 💔

It's been a bad day.

It's been a bad day.

I woke up around 8 this morning which was fine.  I stayed in bed reading for a while, then got up and hung out with Shaun on the couch.  I had my tea, we half-ass watched TV, and napped for a bit.  We got up around noon to get on with our day and found that Rose, our beige female dog with blue eyes, was not in the fence.  Then we discovered the gate open.  After looking at our security cameras the last time we know that she was home was at 9:42 this morning and we didn't find out she was missing until a few hours after that.

Cubba has been leaving the fence and we're not shocked that we've had trouble containing him - this isn't the first time.  However, he doesn't go far, comes when called, and doesn't seem to make himself a nuisance (I've let everyone nearby that I can get in touch with know to let me know if he's a bother).  Since we're not in the city anymore he has acres of land to sniff and while I'm not a fan of him roaming I have accepted that it's not something we can easily fight at the moment without tying him out and we don't want to do that.  We are pretty far away from the road and he gets along well from what we've seen with the neighboring dogs.  This is ok for him - at least temporarily.

Rose, on the other hand, has never left home before.  She's not well-socialized which I take responsibility for.  I got her as a puppy at a time that I knew I wouldn't be able to spend much time with her; as terrible as this sounds, she needed a home at the same time I needed a companion for Cubba (because I also wasn't able to spend time with him).  I'd tried several times to find him a new home or a rescue commitment before getting him a friend but was unsuccessful; rescues avoid bully-looking breeds and most people won't adopt black animals, (despite the fact that he was trained and frankly, pretty bomb-proof).  He's not the worst dog to be "stuck" with, but he's not the star of this story.  The point I was trying to make is that Rose was attached to Cubba at the hip.  She's been with him since she was 6 weeks old and he's the only dog she's ever known.  She wouldn't have willingly separated from him.

I also don't think it would be easy for anyone to have taken her.  As I said before we weren't able to spend much time with them during her formative years and she looks to Cubba for everything, including if it's ok to come to us.  She is skittish even with us.  I can't imagine that she'd let a stranger get their hands on her unless she followed Cubba somewhere and met a stranger he liked.  She is unusual-looking with her light coat and blue eyes.  She is thin and VERY athletic.  I could see someone thinking she was underfed (she wasn't - there is always food for them) or just thinking she was pretty and taking her.  Worse case (which I hope did not happen), is that she's younger and dumber than Cub and harassed someone's livestock and paid the ultimate price.

To make this a perfect shitstorm she wasn't wearing identification.  We just bought new collars for them (some with reflective streaks for added safety) and new tags with updated address info.  The collars are on; the tags should arrive this week.  Her old one was chewed off and since she never leaves we didn't bother putting it back on only to have to change it out.  So our Rosie Posie is out there somewhere with no one knowing where she belongs.  I have failed this dog in every way and I am upset at myself and worried about her.

I have posted her in my group, Happy Tails Lost & Found Pets of Calhoun County.  I have sent photos and messages to neighbors.  We spent hours walking and driving around looking for her.  I'm about to print some flyers for us to put in mailboxes and around the area in the morning.  I will find out if there is a shelter in Talladega because I honestly don't know.  She has blankets and Cubba outside so if she's near hopefully those smells will attract her.  I don't know what else to do.  But if you're in the Talladega area and inclined to help, please share the post found at this link:  [redacted].

We found our gate open this morning with Rose missing.

We found our gate open this morning with Rose missing. She's never left home before and she's pretty skittish around new people. She is spayed, just a couple of years old. We're in Talladega in the Providence area. If you see her, please call me at [redacted].

I LOATHE the weather in Alabama.

This isn't public because I'm not interested in dealing with the fallout that comes with announcing a possible big change.  But I LOATHE the weather in Alabama.  Like, for real.

We lived in a mobile home when I was a kid.  I can't even count the number of times my brother and I were woken up in the middle of the night by my mom to be rushed out of the house so we could go down the street to a relatives basement.  My dad would never come, nor could we bring our pets, so not only was I terrified of the weather and worried that our house would be blown away; I was also afraid of losing loved ones.

I remember all of the tornado drills / warnings in school.  Get in the hall, put your head against the wall with a book or your hands over it.  Stay in that uncomfortable, awful position and wait.  Wait and worry and fear.  It was so much worse after I had Shadow; I hated being separated from him.  I remember knowing that bad weather was coming so I went to pick him up from school and his principal wouldn't let me take him home.  I lost my shit over that one.  No one comes between me and my kid.

We can just be out here minding our business and next thing we know our whole lives are about to be blown away.  My immediate family and I have been very lucky that it hasn't been us yet, but that could change at any time.  None of this even touches on the fact that it's humid year-round so both the heat and the cold feel miserable.  I am over this.  I don't want it anymore.  I'm finally in the position to have some control over my life so it might be time to consider a big change.  It is not logical to be here and there are plenty of other reasons I'm not into it, either.  Desert, I'm looking at you.