My cat doesn't feel good.

I love my cacti.

I love my cacti. That tiny pink flower is giving me life. The one with antennae looks like a little alien. I'm in love. ❤️

My cat just shit a turd...

This one isn't going on social media, either...

This one isn't going on social media, either, because I don't want anyone to feel called out.  Nobody needs that shit, especially the two people in the position I'm going to discuss.  They are both dying of liver failure due to alcoholism.

These two women, both early to mid 40s, have been told that they don't have long to live.  One of them chose to quit drinking and live what's left of her life to the fullest extent.  The other chose to keep drinking and live what's left of her life on her own terms, as well.

The one who stopped drinking has kids and grandkids and according to her social media, spends time with her family and going on trips and outings.  The one who continued to drink is pretty isolated.  She has no family left that will speak to her, just friends that have become like family - though they are few and far between.

Though these two women with the same disease have approached life in a completely opposite manner another thing that they both have in common is that they are both openly proud of their material possessions.  One boasted about having a house and two cars, while the other boasted about having a house with a pool.  Like, they both felt it was important for people to know that they feel like they had materially "made it" somehow.

It struck me as odd.

While I don't know the financial details of the lady who stopped drinking I really can't imagine that the job she holds has allowed her to purchase all of that on her own.  I know for a fact that the person who chose to keep drinking has a roommate who pays most of the bills of the place they rent.  But they are both proud of "their" achievements.

My husbang and I sacrificed a lot to claw our way up out of poverty to lower middle class; HOWEVER, his father passed away and left us the family home.  Since we wanted out of Alabama we sold both my husbang's home as well as his family home and left.  We took that money and bought our house.  And while I am very comfortable here and I love our home I feel that I can't even take credit for all of it because without his father's home to sell we would not be here.  Not yet, at least.  So someone else paying my way doesn't feel like my own success or anything that I should be proud of.

Another thing that struck me is that when faced with the upcoming end of their lives that material possessions are even on their radar.  Yes - you need to make sure things are in order, but my gosh I'd be more concerned with the time spent with loved ones or repairing relationships and saying the things I need to say or checking things off of my bucket list.  Maybe when my time comes I'll feel differently, but I just can't see myself going on social media like "I have this and this and this material thing."

It comes off strange to me.  I know that America is super materialistic and even though I've lived here my whole life it's still a bit gross to me how much we compete with one another.  In my brain when I think of being faced with my own mortality I think of righting wrongs and making sure that my survivors will be ok.  Those are my priorities.  I can't really fathom wanting people to know about my possessions as something being worthy of sharing at that stage in my life.  It's like "I want to be remembered for having a house with a pool."  Makes no sense to me.

Anyway.  This was just something that was kicking around in my head.  It may or may not make sense to anyone else, but there it is.  Something to think about.

Interesting to no one but myself, but I'm sharing anyway:

Interesting to no one but myself, but I'm sharing anyway:

I have completed the data-gathering phase of building my nail polish database.  I have swatches, color descriptions, collection names, release dates, etc., for the 4000+ nail polishes I have.  Any information I'm missing at this point is because it's not easily or readily found on the internet.  Next comes deciding how I'm going to configure all of this into my database.  I already have several test tables made and I like how that is going, so that's a good start.  But I've put that on hold for the moment because...

I've been focusing my efforts on gathering the data for my website.  It's basically going to be a blog-style site that hosts my photos and posts dating back to 2005.  Much of it will be familiar content because I'm pulling posts from Facebook to fill it in, but after it's up and running it will also contain exclusive content.  I have probably another solid month of work to get that to a maintenance phase, which I am very excited about.  After MySpace dumped so much of my content without warning back in the day I trust no social media to last.  I want ownership of my photos and stories and to know that they are safe.

My website will probably be of interest to no one but me, but I write primarily because it makes me happy.  If anyone is inspired to help animals or feels less alone in their struggles with depression or whatever, then that is a side effect I am happy to have.  Also, to be completely honest I fear the possibility of getting Alzheimer's and don't want to forget my life.  I find it very comforting to have a chronicle of the things I've done and the way I felt at the time.

Anyway, both of these projects are things that I have either been working at slowly but surely over the years or have wanted to do.  I feel like I'm finally at a place in life where I can put energy and focus into my personal projects and I am grateful for that.  It is such a relief to not have it hanging over my head, neglected and begging for attention.

The only major downside at this moment is that I spend so much time sitting in front of a computer.  I work on a computer and then get off work and get back on one.  Hyperfocus can be super productive, but it's not the best for my physical health.  But I feel like once I'm to a maintenance phase on both projects I will be able to shift more focus onto myself.  I've been eating healthy for the most part, but not exercising or moving around like I should.  I'm definitely going to work on that.  Not only do I miss skating, but I feel that I am decently healthy and want to hang onto that for as long as I can.  So, as they say:  Use it or lose it.

I hope you all are having a good weekend.  If you need me I'll be here on this laptop.  😆

After being sick last Friday I feel mostly better.

After being sick last Friday I feel mostly better.  However, I think I'm experiencing chest congestion for the first time in my life and well... I don't like it.

I'm not in love with these and...

I'm not in love with these and the stones weren't a great idea (Shaun told me so), but they're not bad. This is a pretty purple polish with an orange flash, so I wanted to use gel stamping polish and chrome powder to see if I could make it look like the orange was cracking through. It didn't turn out the way my brain expected, but that's ok. It was fun to do them and  I'm gonna keep them on until I'm tired of them. 😂