Marriage and Pregnancy - You asked for it.

I've had a lot of questions over the last few years about having more kids and getting married and such... Recently, a friend of the family called me up pretty much to ask if I ever planned to marry Nick since we've been together for so long and live in the house together now. So uh, here are the answers. These are only my opinions and my feelings that apply to my life... so as always - do your thing and I'll do mine (whatever it is), and we can still love each other anyway. 😀

On more kids... is that what the world really needs? Honestly?? I don't feel that it does. Not only are there wayyy too many children without homes and families, but there are wayyy too many kids who are in terrible homes and that the system simply cannot take care of. On a more personal level I don't know that I'll ever have any more... At one point I wanted nothing more than to have another child. Now, that is not the case. But I suppose that could change again. Nothing is set in stone.

First of all, FOR NOW, I don't want the wear and tear on my body; despite the fact that I've had a child I'm pretty happy with my physical appearance and I want to enjoy that for a while. Second, I don't want the responsibility; Shadow's FINALLY old enough that I don't feel guilty and evil for letting him spend the night away from home once in a while if I want to take some time to myself. Third, babies are a lot of trouble. I've been contemplating going back to school off and on... right now I feel like I need to focus on myself and where I'm heading more so than anything else. A baby would probably jack that up. While I do understand the urge to make one together with someone you love I'm just not having that urge right now. We have time; there's no rush.

Don't get me wrong - if I ended up preggers I'd be just as happy as I was with Shadow. Not only that - I really enjoyed being pregnant. It's an awesome thing. An inopportune or unplanned pregnancy is not the end of the world to me, simply a surprise that I would embrace and welcome with open arms. That doesn't mean that I'm a kid person, though. I'm not fond of the little buggers, honestly. And you definitely will not find me old and saggy with a litter. That's not my thing. Unless I somehow have twins I wouldn't want more than one more.

On to marriage! My first thought when that is mentioned is "Why?" Do you not think that in this day and age of casual sex and constantly changing minds that it's sort of an outdated concept?? I certainly do. From what I understand nothing really changes once married these days unless you've been abstaining from sex and not living together (which seems to be rare). So all that you're really gaining by getting married is the expense of a divorce in the event you no longer want to be together, which happens A LOT. Wtf? Who wants that? Not me.

I dunno. Not only that, but once you're married it's no longer your choice to be with someone... it becomes your default. I'd personally rather know that the man I love chooses to be with me every day - not that one day he chose to be with me. I mean, truly, if I'm in a committed, loving, trust-filled relationship with someone then what more do I need? What else IS there?

Aside from that I HATE hearing how about how "you're now joined as one" and all this "forever" bullshit. What is that? I wasn't a whole person before I bought this expensive ass piece of paper? Wow. It must be magical or something. And no one knows how they'll feel later down the road. I'm sorry. I'm not afraid of commitment, but I find the idea of pledging yourself to someone "for better or worse" just bogus. If I were to marry a guy who just one day started beating my ass daily I'm promising to stay in that situation? Gnaw man. Not me. No one should have to. Which brings you to divorce. So what does that say about the whole institution of marriage? It's just flawed.

Anyhoo, I don't have anything against married people. If you're married I wouldn't chase your man - but I wouldn't do that to my unmarried friends who are in relationships, either, so don't think you're getting special treatment. 😜 All in all I'm not even saying that I would never do it, but I don't feel that it's likely to be something I'm very interested in doing. If the man I was with joined the military or moved to another country I would marry him so that I could be with him if he meant that much to me. And other junk like that. But just, you know, on an average day it's nothing I desire to do.

So I guess that's it. There you have it. I feel lucky to have found Nick (we share very similar if not the same views on these subjects) because I know not many other people share them. But oh well. To each their own. Feel free to share your feelings on the subject. Yes, this is MYspace, but I'm open. 😊