Rest in Peace, Hairy

Oh Hairy. You probably have no idea how much your death tears me up. I so was not ready for this, though your health as of the last few months was a clue that you were not doing so well. I tried, baby girl - I really did. I'm sorry - I feel as though I failed you.

I haven't really put it out there, but me and Hairy have made several trips to the vet's office over the last few months... if it's not her eyes, it's her skin. We put ointment in her eyes for months and kept her on Benadryl to stop her from scratching her skin up, but nothing was helping. We finally put her on some oral antibiotics along with the eye ointment and she looked SO much better. Then here is it a month later and almost overnight she's on her last legs.

It really and truly happened fast... I woke up yesterday morning and her eyes were looking bad again. I called the vet and was instructed to start her back on antibiotics so I did. That evening when I came home she looked so much worse. Really skinny and squinty... it was terrible. My friend Jeni bought her some baby food and Gatorade and she ate pretty well. I put a heat lamp over her because she felt cold to the touch. I stayed up pretty late so that she could rest before I woke her up to get her to eat again. When I got up this morning she was barely moving and her breathing was so shallow that you could barely tell she was alive. She felt so cold.

I stayed home until she passed and then I held her and cried for a good hour or so - so much that I made myself pretty sick. I just didn't want to believe it was over - I kept looking for some sign of life, I guess out of desperation. But I knew better.

In a way I guess it should be a relief... I'd briefly considered having her put to sleep, because I just couldn't keep her healthy. I was just so tired of seeing her sick and since she couldn't voice it I never knew how bad or good she felt.

I've pretty much expected that she would not be as healthy as other hairless rats as they're pretty fragile creatures to begin with. On top of that she wasn't bred to be hairless - she was just sort of a mutant (all of her litter mates were furred). Most good breeders can weed out a lot of health problems over time, but Hairy didn't get that benefit. She didn't have the best start, though she seemed healthy up until lately... Gosh, though, these last few months were pretty brutal on her. From what I've read the life expectancy of a furred rat is 2-3 years... for a hairless it's usually 18-24 months. She was just a few months shy of 18 so I guess she was getting pretty up there in rat years anyway.

Anyway, Hairy, you were my first ratty girl. I really and truly loved you to pieces. I won't be getting over you anytime soon. I just hope that you get to rest, finally, and be free of sickness. Again, I'm really sorry that I couldn't save you. I love you.