I used to tell the internet everything and I just don't anymore. I feel like a lot of me sharing so much with the internet was due to the newness of it all (it was pretty fun at first) and the fact that I was probably lonely on some level. It was also cool to find people that I'd lost touch with and it was certainly handy to stalk people with (to cure boredom or otherwise - don't act like you've never. 😂) Now I guess I've just lost interest with a lot of that - not to mention that a lot has changed with me over the last year or so. I'm not complaining, though.
Anyway, I'm awake tonight doing my laundry. I ended up sleeping A LOT this weekend so I'm not even a little tired right now. My bestie is probably doing things to his house, or sleeping, so I'm not going to disturb him. Nope - I'm going to blog. I've kept to mostly to myself so I have plenty I can say.
In Shadow-ish news - he's still a good kid. But he's getting an attitude. He's approaching double-digits - the "tweens" I believe it's now called. Holy shit and whatnot. These are the years that I've been scared of and I'm no less scared now that it's here. I've never really felt that I was cut out to be a parent, but I've always tried. And now I'm starting to feel like I'm in over my head. When he gets an attitude with me I usually yell at him. Which either a) makes him cry, or b) makes him angry. So I've been trying not to do that lately and talking to him calmly seems to work better, but I have to REALLY try hard to make that happen.
Not only that, but he's got this thing with video games - he likes them a lot and he gets upset when one stumps him. Also, that's pretty much all he talks about and that's kind of annoying. I'm starting to feel like I want to just get rid of all of them completely and let him find something else to be interested in, but I don't know. It's not like his grades are slipping or that he never plays with his other toys or picks up a book or anything. He does. I guess it's just a matter of how much is too much, ya know?
Along the lines of Shadow, but not really: Pooh. I hear that he's back in town, but he hasn't contacted us. I sent him an honest (and probably somewhat hurtful) email at the end of last year and haven't heard from him since (well - until he admitted recently in a comment on one of my status updates that he was sort of stalking me). I don't really know what the deal with that is, although I suppose if I REALLY wanted to know I could ask. But I don't care to make contact.
I hear (which means it could just be some BS that was passed along to me) that he came back to be a part of Shadow's life... but after almost 10 years? Are you kidding? He's got 3 other kids in another state who are probably somewhat used to having him around so I can't wrap my head around ditching them and coming here to wreck the life that Shadow's gotten used to. But like I said I don't know the story - it may not be true at all.
Anyway, I've got a claim form that I need to fill out and send to Norfolk Southern - the railroad company who owns the tracks. The county met with them and they still say that there are no problems back here, but they did give a number to file a claim for damaged property. The county sent me a copy of the letter with that number on there so I've passed it on to my neighbors. I've gotta check and make sure that they file claims, too, so that those idiots at the railroad company might take us seriously. I have a feeling that if more than one of us speaks up we have a shot at getting something done with that ditch back there. Wish us luck.
So I just realized that it's been about a year-ish ago that me and my lover became "official." For those who are not all up in my business I will just tell you: As of about September of last year me and Nick were no longer together. We had a lot of issues and I'm just going to say that we were largely incompatible and leave it at that. We talk occasionally and I think it's safe to say that we don't hate each other's guts, so I'm ok with that. He doesn't like to be blogged about so that's as far into it as I'm going.
Back to what I was saying... it's been about a year and I've yet to be all, "Shaun is my boyfriend" in a public place (such as the internet). I think part of it is that we work together, but if the coworkers don't have a clue by now then they're probably not going to. It's never been a secret that we spend time together and stuff like that, but unless you're one of my close friends I doubt it's really come up. So anyway: Shaun is my boyfriend and he is THE AWESOME-EST. I feel so lucky to have him in my life. He's so kind and thoughtful and helpful. And beautiful. And nice to Shadow and my dogs. And fun to be around. And SNUGGLY, OMG. I love him from his head to his toes - even the way he picks his nose. (I'm dead serious - it's so clean I'd eat out of there when he's done. I can't stand snotty noses).
I realize that I probably sound crazy, but he makes my life better. It's kind of a big deal. We get along so well and like doing a lot of the same stuff. I guess it's not that we have a ton of specific interests in common, but more that we're both up for doing / trying whatever most of the time. Even when we're working around our houses and stuff it doesn't really feel like work. I don't know. I just find it absolutely amazing that I mesh so well with another person. My heart feels all glowy and I am HAPPY. 😊
I guess I'm done with laundry for the night and I can't think of anything else that I haven't already posted. I'm going to get ready for bed because I don't want to be late for work in the morning. I guess I'll catch all of yous later. ❤
