I would like to thank everyone...

I would like to thank everyone who's messaged us and responded to my last post.  When I have the energy I will definitely respond to everyone individually, but right now we're all running low on energy and using what energy we do have to care for Leon.

On Thursday we were told that Leon had only days to live.  From then he received nutrients via an NG tube and hydration via IV until we brought him home from the vet yesterday (Saturday) afternoon.  We received the "experimental" drugs for him yesterday and started him on them as soon as we got him home.  He's also on a painkiller and anti-nausea meds and eye drops as well as needing to be fed by syringe every hour or so because he isn't eating or drinking on his own.  Needless to say - it's a lot to do and we are all working around the clock.

The kids have alarms set for all of his medications.  Shaun and I are helping with the medicating and the feedings because the kids aren't as used to doing this type of stuff as we are.  To be frank, the kids look like shit.  Shadow is delirious from lack of sleep.  They are catching naps between alarms and not taking care of themselves despite me urging them to.  I've never seen them so stressed and it breaks my heart, but me and Shaun are supporting them and helping.  We just know that there is no pouring from an empty cup and are taking a little bit better care of ourselves than they are.  I have to out of necessity because I've been close to migraine territory for 2 days and I can't help anyone if I let myself get to that point.

I can't yet say if I think Leon will be ok.  His pain meds keep him pretty sedated so I can't tell how he really feels.  I'm still scared for him and don't know if any of this is actually helping him.  One thing I will say is that he seems to be swallowing better than before so that is improvement.  He's still getting up to pee in his box.  Other than that he's not moving much (hopefully because he is sedated).  I'm happy to take any improvement I can get, but I also know (sadly from experience - not with FIP specifically, but through fostering, rehab, and my pets) that things can look up and still not work out.

We are all very stressed, but glad to have him home.  Kira wanted to leave him at the vet on fluids and NG tube for nutrients while taking his new meds (which I thought was an excellent idea), but they wouldn't administer his not-FDA-approved drugs to him, nor allow us to do it while he was there.  Since this medication was our only shot at actually saving his life we chose to bring him home and do as much as we could ourselves.

Kira is still very optimistic and I think she is in denial about the very real possibility that Leon may not be with us much longer, but I am glad he made it home, at least.  I don't think she'd have been ok with him passing away at the vet without her there.  I think that him being home and all of us doing our literal best for him gives her something to do besides just worry about him, although she's still doing plenty of that, too.

Kira had a therapy appointment on Friday and I really thought she'd try to skip it, but she didn't.  I was grateful.  Her therapist scheduled her twice this upcoming week and also gave her some emergency numbers to call in case the worst happens and she can't deal.  I am grateful for that, as well.

I don't have anything else to report.  I'll update with Leon's status when it changes - for better or worse.  We're all hoping for better.  Until then if I'm quiet on here or slow to respond to messages then you all know that it's because I'm using my energy to take care of myself and my family - Gramson included, obviously.  Thank you all for the love and support.  ❤