Today has been rough.

Today has been rough.  I'm about to talk about my period and IUD, so fair warning on that.

I think I'm starting perimenopause.  For much of this past year I've been a sweaty mess at night.  That wasn't a huge sign for me - maybe I was simply hot.  But my current menstrual cycle was (I'll spare you the details) almost a week late and a bit weird.  I'm usually like clockwork, but lately the lead-up to actually bleeding has been longer and longer.  Like I'll feel like it should be here, but it's not.  So PMS has definitely changed for the worse because it's been dragging out.  Such fun.

I was never much of a cramper before, but since having my IUDs I have been.  I can live with cramps, but what hit me this morning had me considering Ubering to an ER (because there is no way I could have driven).  I love my ParaGard IUD, but I'm thinking that our time together has come to an end.  This is not the first time I've felt like I was giving birth to it.  If anyone has ever had one inserted and had their cervix sounded open beforehand, then you know exactly the feeling I'm talking about.  (Btw, that feeling is totally worth it ONE TIME for the security / effectiveness of this birth control, but not so tolerable for a random or monthly occurrence.)

There have been some non-period times that I've sat the wrong way and it hurts in my cervix - which I know is not normal.  There have been quite a few times that has happened and left me catching my breath from the pain.  Today was even worse, though.  I'm kind of wondering if this IUD has embedded in me somewhere.  I can't think of a reason why a cramping uterus would hurt my cervix so much, especially if this never happened before I got this last one.

Anyway.  Fun times.  While I was having the doom cramps and considering just dying in the bathtub so as not to leave a huge mess when I inevitably gave birth to my insides, Shaun was looking up places in my area that I could go for help.  I'll be calling and trying to make an appointment this week because I don't think I can deal with perimenopause changes AND extra pain from an IUD.

Or, I just need to find out if I'm correct with my self-diagnoses here because I could be totally wrong about what's going on.  Either way, today was NOT ok and now that I'm working I don't need to have chunks of time where I am straight-up not functional - especially if they are expected to possibly happen monthly.

After the cramping subsided, I slept for a few more hours and re-started this day.  I've been crampy, but ok since the doom cramps subsided.  Hopefully, that doesn't happen again.

I hope you all are doing well.  I'm not 100%, but I'm ok and I'm hanging in here.  ❤