I'm 40 years old; I'll be 41 next month. I'm aware that I had my son earlier than most people have their kids, but I've discovered that I'm in a weird place regarding parenthood. I guess that has probably always been the case, but it's more obvious now than ever.
First of all if I'm asked if I have kids it feels wrong to say "yes." Mostly because I have adults, not kids. Neither Shadow nor Kira need a bunch of "parenting" these days. Yes - they still live with us, but they function on their own. It's more like living with roommates that need advice or backup in life. It's pretty chill. I enjoy having them here and knowing that they are safe and have everything they need. If either of them decide to move out one day I will be happy for them, but I'm also good with things as they are now.
I've noticed that most of the people I went to high school with either have kids that are younger than Shadow or Kira by a good few years, have one that is almost an adult and one that is brand new, or are grandparents. None of that sounds good to me. 😆
I've noticed that most of the people I went to high school with either have kids that are younger than Shadow or Kira by a good few years, have one that is almost an adult and one that is brand new, or are grandparents. None of that sounds good to me. 😆
I don't know if / when I'll have grandkids, but I'm in no hurry. I'm focused on my career and don't want to be distracted, and also I feel like it's time for me to live for myself. Ideally, if one of the kids has a kid they will be moved out and more or less self-sufficient because I don't feel that I have it in me to raise another child at this point. If I did I'd have one with Shaun. That's one experience that I'd love to share with him, but I don't see it in the cards due to the career thing, my struggles with Psoriatic Arthritis and needing to keep extra weight off my joints, and just, well... the world in general.
I am aware that Shaun and I are conservative as far as taking risks. We still mask up and get COVID boosters and avoid people for the most part even though most of the world has declared the pandemic to be "over." The stock market feels like gambling to us so we invest money in other ways. We're just careful in general and really try to think things through.
Things have changed so much in the last 20-ish years that raising a new child would be a totally different experience. We would probably want to homeschool because of the increased rate of violence in schools. Shadow and Kira never had to do active shooter drills and I wouldn't want that for any child of mine. Obviously, we would not feel safe sending a child to a school or daycare because of the pandemic. It just doesn't sound like a great time to create a new life. So I'm glad that we don't have a new child or a grandchild to worry about.
I'm also really glad that Shadow and Kira graduated before the pandemic hit and before they needed to start doing active shooter drills. If they had been any younger they might not have made it out of high school and that is a sad and terrifying thought.
I don't know. What other people do isn't really my business, but I honestly can't fathom wanting to bring a child into the world in the state that it's in. It's deteriorated so much since my childhood and it feels exceedingly fast over the last 20 years. I guess I mostly just feel really lucky to be in the situation that I'm in with our kids and that me and Shaun are on the same page about (not) having one of our own. I should be used to being in the minority because doing my own thing has been the story of my life, but it somehow still shocks me when I notice it. Either way, I'm grateful for the family I have - just as it is.
I am aware that Shaun and I are conservative as far as taking risks. We still mask up and get COVID boosters and avoid people for the most part even though most of the world has declared the pandemic to be "over." The stock market feels like gambling to us so we invest money in other ways. We're just careful in general and really try to think things through.
Things have changed so much in the last 20-ish years that raising a new child would be a totally different experience. We would probably want to homeschool because of the increased rate of violence in schools. Shadow and Kira never had to do active shooter drills and I wouldn't want that for any child of mine. Obviously, we would not feel safe sending a child to a school or daycare because of the pandemic. It just doesn't sound like a great time to create a new life. So I'm glad that we don't have a new child or a grandchild to worry about.
I'm also really glad that Shadow and Kira graduated before the pandemic hit and before they needed to start doing active shooter drills. If they had been any younger they might not have made it out of high school and that is a sad and terrifying thought.
I don't know. What other people do isn't really my business, but I honestly can't fathom wanting to bring a child into the world in the state that it's in. It's deteriorated so much since my childhood and it feels exceedingly fast over the last 20 years. I guess I mostly just feel really lucky to be in the situation that I'm in with our kids and that me and Shaun are on the same page about (not) having one of our own. I should be used to being in the minority because doing my own thing has been the story of my life, but it somehow still shocks me when I notice it. Either way, I'm grateful for the family I have - just as it is.
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