I love and miss my sweet husband.

I love and miss my sweet husband.

When I called him today, the first thing he said was "What happened?!" (He got a notification about the large charge from the vet on the card, as I knew he would). I love that his first concern was Oreo and not the money.

Then while we were talking he checked the mail, and Oreo's house key had arrived.

I know that he's more pragmatic about things than I am and that he wouldn't have jumped in with 2 feet like I did with Oreo, but he is wonderfully supportive of me in pretty much everything I do - even if he's concerned it's not the best thing for me. And believe me:  He didn't think that picking up a starving stray was the best thing for my mental health or finances or the ease of my life on this trip.  And he's right.

But my heart is full. I've missed fostering and helping animals. I don't want to be overwhelmed like I once was - at the end of my rope with compassion fatigue and no possible way to physically or financially take in another. But I do miss helping.

And I'm trying to keep it positive over here, but I do worry that Oreo won't make it home with me. And that thought makes me incredibly sad. I've fantasized about buying him his first pup cup. About him feeling healthy enough to play with Cub. About him piling into our super soft bed at night and never being alone or uncomfortable again.

I just don't know if that will be our reality. And I'm trying to be ok with the thought that a few days with us in an Airbnb might be the best he gets, even if he was not feeling well. That he was happy to see me despite all the trips to the vet where he was poked and prodded. That he endured a hard life and only got this much time to know comfort.

It doesn't sit well. It doesn't sit well at all.

So yeah. My mental health has taken a little hit. But I'm ok and no matter what happens, Oreo has been worth it. Every single one of my fosters were worth it, and I'd do it a thousand times over again. I think the important part for me is having the space to recover before jumping in again. That is why my husband and I make a good team. He protects me because I don't when I see them needing help.

I wish we all looked out for each other like this.