Confession:

Confession:

I've been a raging bitch for days.

I am once again dealing with symptoms of perimenopause and I don't have it in me to be nice. I have asked Shaun repeatedly to please just go play games or something and leave me alone so I won't snap at him for trying to do the crime of speaking to me - but here he sits. I don't know what is wrong with this man, but he says he chooses me even on days like this over anyone else. It's sweet, but also like - why endure this? 😂

My period is a week late and I feel like I've been in extended PMS for all of this time. My boobs have been sore, I'm exhausted, I'm ill. Before you all ask:  I am not pragarnante. I took a test and it was negative. It also isn't likely because I have a ParaGard IUD that's supposed to be good for some years yet.

I guess it's good timing since my work project is almost done. I can schedule some doctor appointments and prepare for that battle. I'm not planning to go into menopause yet. I want hormone replacement therapy. I've read that many doctors are against it due to an increased risk of cancer, but I'm firmly in the quality of life over quantity of life camp for myself.

I don't know everything; there is still a bunch of research to do. But I've read that there might be evidence that HRT could delay the onset of Alzheimer's/Dementia, which is one of my biggest fears. Both of my grandmothers had that and it was terrifying. I also want to keep my bone density and I've read that the shift in hormones that occurs in peri is one of the causes of bone loss. I also straight up don't want to deal with lack of sleep and hot flashes. I am in the beginning of my career and I don't have time to be debilitated.

I know many of you who haven't/won't experience this don't think it's a big deal, but the suffering of those of us who go through this matters. And I'm not gonna take it laying down.

So, fun times abound.

Edited to add this link for anyone who might need it:

www.menopausewiki.ca