I was talking to Shaun today...

I was talking to Shaun today about how/why I get frustrated/annoyed when he talks to me sometimes. I feel this way about everyone, but he's the person I'm around the most, so... Poor Shaun. 😂

So as anyone who's paid attention to my recent posts knows... I'm living my best life with the music of Ca7riel & Paco Amoroso right now. It's fun, it's brilliant, it's helping me with my Spanish, they're beautiful, they're talented, etc. I listen to their music pretty much daily and also check their social media. I don't do that for anyone else. Despite loving music, in general I rarely listen to it.

Here's why:

When music is on, it's the most important thing happening to me. I don't want to be talked to because it causes sensory overload to hear both and I don't want it paused/interrupted because I'm enjoying it. I mouth/quietly sing the words if I know them and usually at least sway to the beat if not straight up dance.

Needless to say, I can't work with music on. I can drive. I can walk. I can skate. I can mess around in the greenhouse. But anything that requires more brainpower than that, I just can't do. So I don't get to listen to music often.

Since I'm currently unemployed and have free time, I'm able to indulge in music. And all I want to hear is Ca7riel and Paco. I've had them on repeat enough that I'm able to remember many of their songs, so I'm able to listen to it without using my ears. Shaun calls this an ear worm, but I guess I always associated ear worms with something you DON'T want to hear. 😂

He obviously can't tell when I'm listening to/enjoying my ear worms, so he talks to me whenever he feels like it. And I don't always want that. So I think I'm going to start wearing earplugs as a signal that I'm not up for talking. Or wear earbuds and actually listen to songs. That would be better for both of us, I think.

I asked him why he thinks it's ok to talk to me just because I'm in the same room as him. He said that's just normal to him. But I really enjoy being near someone without worrying about having my thoughts or ear worms interrupted. I have a hard time switching contexts, so it's a little stressful not being able to just exist near someone without the burden of having to unexpectedly pay attention to them.

OBVIOUSLY, if I've made plans with you and am purposely hanging out with you, I am up for/expect conversation. I am ready for it and enjoy it, genuinely. But I think it's different when sharing a living space with someone. Thankfully, we're able to talk things out and we're actively still working to improve our relationship, even after 17 years together. You'd think we'd have it figured out by now, but I'm still unmasking and learning a lot about myself, so the work continues.

Who else is sensitive to having their thoughts interrupted? I know I'm not the only one like this.