The FAST.

So, I did it. All of the 8 days. I did eat the night of the 8th day because I thought it might make me sick and I REALLY didn't need to be sick at work the next day. I guess I was pretty lucky - nothing bad happened.

I realize that everyone is different, but starting and ending the fast went nothing like I expected. I've read that you should taper off from eating before you fast - but I went to Mexico Lindo and ate until I was full. I read that you should only eat fruits and veggies when coming off a fast - but I had a salad, pizza, and some dark chocolate truffles. And I can't think of any complications from any of that. Well, after I ate again I didn't poop for a few days, but I don't like pooping anyway - so whatever. I don't think that I was necessarily clogged up so much as it takes a little time to get things moving again.

Coming off the fast was kind of emotional... when I was making my salad I kept thinking I wanted a bite of tomato, but that I shouldn't eat it. And then it was like, "Wait! I CAN EAT IT!" So I was fucking EXCITED. Like - I was shaking - I was so excited. Apparently, some of what I eat I eat for pleasure. Probably not the best habit, but I feel like that is the norm. At least now I have some idea of how much I NEED to survive versus how much I WANT because... well, I want it.

As for my skin this is what I'm going to try to do. I think I will still have a juice every morning. That is good for me and I like it. Maybe after that I will have some sort of organic cereal with vitamins and protein so that way the protein will keep me from getting hungry early in the day. Then, I can have all of the fruits, veggies, and nuts I want during the day, and then whatever for dinner. That's a pretty large amount of raw food which is supposed to be good for my skin (and probably the rest of me, too). I don't know. I don't have a hard time sticking to that when I come to work prepared. So I guess the biggest thing for me is to make sure I've got healthy food with me. Also, on the weekends I will try to be good, but no promises. If I'm good 5 days out of the week then that is the majority and fuck my skin if it can't deal with that.

I'm hoping that if I can eat more raw and maybe cleanse / fast 3 days a month that it will help. I'm pretty sure there's no way I'm giving up cooked / processed food entirely, but maybe if I can keep it down to 1 meal per day or so then it won't be like I'm just overloading my system with crap non-stop. Regardless, it will definitely be a change in my eating habits for the better.

Anyway, I guess that's all. And now I'm sleepy. ❤

Days 5 and 6 of my FAST

Well, days 5 and 6 have been about the same as day 4... mostly. Today I've been especially tired. I did get to bed later than I intended and I woke up early.

Taking care of myself = I'm doing it wrong. 😕

Unfortunately, in more ways than one.

I've realized that I almost never (like, EVER) go to bed when I'm tired. And I should. I'm tired for a reason - we all are. And when you're fasting you REALLY need to stick to getting your rest. I've done better this past week than I have in (most likely) my entire life, but that doesn't mean that I've had a perfect record of turning in when I need to. That's probably not great for me - especially since I apparently do have something not quite right with me.

Maybe if I didn't push myself so hard I'd have time to heal. My normal routine is to do light housework after work, check my messages, make some food (well... not this week, but in general), etc. And then, when I get tired that's when I get up and REALLY do things. I can think of a million things I need to do before I go to bed so I wake myself up and do them. Then I crash later than I need to and do it all over the next day. I think a change is in order.

So aside from being tired and un-energetic today I've been (according to others) a little goofy in the head. I've thought it was raining and thundering all day and it wasn't. I've been cold (to be expected when you're fasting), but apparently everyone else was pretty warm today. I honestly don't know how off my temperature is seeing as how I'm usually a little colder than everyone around me, but a few people seemed shocked that I was wearing a big coat with the hood up. Also, I've been a little dizzy-headed at times.

I think all of this may have something to do with me not drinking as much juice as I should. You're supposed to feel energetic and buzzy after the detox period on a juice fast, but to be quite honest I'm tired of juice. I've not been having the same thing day in and day out, but I think I'm just tired of juice in general. I was drinking it daily anyway before the fast and now that's the majority of what I've been consuming for almost a week. So, I've not been drinking all that much - mostly water.

I've been drinking a glass in the morning and sipping some throughout the day (I usually don't even finish half of a glass Starbucks bottle during the day) and then when I come home it's pretty much water for me unless I feel like making orange juice or something like that. While I don't feel bad I don't feel wonderful, either, and I'm SURE that's why. I'm supposed to be drinking juice anytime I'm hungry or thirsty (along with water, but the emphasis is more on juice).

At this point I don't feel that I'm doing myself much good, but there's only 2 days left. I'm still going to try to make it to that. I do think I will break the fast on Thursday night rather than Friday morning (hey, I didn't eat while I was sleeping on Wednesday - so it balances out) just because I've read that even eating light can not only wear you out, but do some fun things to your stomach / butt. So, needless to say I'd rather be at home for that than at work and I am certainly not waiting until Friday evening to eat. I'll probably have a tomato... things like that and watermelon and any light fruit are all good to start back eating.

Anyway, all in all it's been an eye-opening experience - especially in regards to my relationship with food. I do believe that I will be doing a monthly 3-day fast (get past the detox and quit 😂) to hopefully keep things in check and remind me that I need less than I think I do. As long as I'm not just bogging my body down with utter crap I've read that a small monthly fast could be beneficial. So, I guess I'll get to find that out.

Well, I need to go grab a few more fruits and veggies to last me the next few days so I'm off to do that. I will let you know how the remaining days go.

Fasting, Day 4

Well, I must say that I'm pleasantly surprised with the results so far. The last 2 days were kind of rough (probably detoxing - which I deserved for not treating my body better), but today I feel quite nice.

I finally went to sleep around 3 this morning... I'd been lying around on the couch most of the day dozing and watching the tele so I wasn't exactly tired before that. Anyway, I woke up at 6:30 this morning to let the dogs out and I was feeling pretty energetic. Luckily, I had someone to take that out on and then I fell asleep again for another 4 hours or so. While I'm not bouncing off the walls I do feel energetic and not sick. No food cravings so far. All I've had today was a single orange (juiced) and some water. I'll probably make another mix before I leave to do some errands and I'll be fine for a while.

So, on to my skin. My face has pretty much cleared. What's left there is barely visible and I really only know it's there when I touch it. When I woke up today the skin on my belly and back wasn't sore at all. Usually the first thing I have to do is lotion it - it's dry and red and cracked and sore. But not today. It actually looks a bit lighter and is smoother, too. I still slathered down in lotion because it's dry skin nonetheless, but it's definitely improved. So I'm pretty excited about that. 😁

So far this has been a really neat experience. I guess when I'm done with my fast I'll try to eat mostly raw, but I doubt I'll be able to fully stick to that. I've read accounts of people fasting for 3 days a month to keep their bodies clean and I guess I could see that being a possibility for me - especially if it actually manages to clear my skin. If I clean myself regularly maybe the detox won't be so bad and I won't have to force myself to eat a 100% raw diet. I'm no good at "dieting" no matter what it's for.

Anyway it was a rough weekend, but the lovely boyfriend really took care of me and helped me through it. He's pretty much the best EVER and I'm a really lucky girl. ❤

One more thing: While on this fast I've realized that hunger is more in your head than your stomach. You would probably be surprised at how little of the right things you need to survive. After doing this I can honestly say that I believe we are over-fed and under-nourished.

More to come...

I'm on day 3...

So far today has been the worst. But I'm hanging in there.

Day 2 (yesterday) was not so easy. I was craving a salad SO hard. I tried to make a salad and juice it, but it was SO thick (I don't like that - I have texture issues - I'd never juiced a tomato before and that didn't go over so well [this is the main reason that green smoothies are not for me]) so I couldn't even get myself to drink it. I'm actually online looking for some more juice recipes... I just need some juice that is not so sweet. I am about sick of sweet juice and unfortunately that's about all I've ever made. If there is anything else that anyone could recommend for fasting - let me know. I'm up for suggestions.

The only other things about Day 2 that I noticed was a few bumps on my face and a bit of a runny nose. Also, I was a bit grumpy... food had been under my nose all day - all of which looked and smelled good. Oh well. Onward.

Day 3, (today) has been pretty rough. None of my juice was very appetizing and I ended up just having plain apple this morning. I promptly felt sick. I know that this was not the best thing to do, but I read (somewhere, among all of the reading I've been doing) that it was not TERRIBLE to do this: I had some chicken broth. And then I laid down. I felt much better when I got up, but I felt SO weak. I made some juice with apple / carrot / spinach / beet / lemon / celery... blegh... the celery. I might try that again minus the celery. It was MUCH stronger than I expected. Mostly drinkable, though.

I've got a dull headache lurking around, but my skin didn't hurt or look as angry when I woke up today. I'm REALLY cold - but I'm wearing snow pants and a thick coat. Also, I'm sore. Like, "when you have the flu" sore. And weak - I'm supposed to be resting a lot so that my body can do the work. All of these are supposed to be signs of your body cleansing so all in all I'm feeling like something is happening, which is interesting.

I guess you could say that I broke my fast with the chicken broth, but regardless I'm not quitting yet. I'll cut myself some slack seeing as how this is my first time. Anyway, off to be a couch potato.

Fasting: Day 1

For anyone who doesn't know:  I'm on a juice fast as of today, officially. I'd like to stick it out until next Friday, the 9th. 8 whole days. I guess we'll see.

My skin is bugging the holy cow out of me (which is the reason I'm doing this. Doctors have never been able to help me and I'm kind of tired of just living with it). My scalp is all flaky (dead sexy, I know) and that is my absolute least favorite place to have psoriasis. When I scratch it (and I am GOING TO scratch it) it makes my hair all flaky (another reason bald was nice) and then when I try to make that go away I end up pulling out a ton of hairs... which hurts and makes me wonder "If I accidentally pull out the same hairs over and over will they just stop growing back? I don't want bald patches!" and then I get all paranoid and stressy over it.

I mean I'm just tired of it. And I feel like if I was healthy I wouldn't be so gross. So anyway. Fasting. I'm doing that. Btw, first time EVAR. 😳

I have to admit that I'm scared as hell about the detox that supposedly everyone who fasts experiences. I wonder how bad it will be? I don't do drugs or drink or smoke or even take much in the way of Ibuprofen and the like so I wonder how toxic I could be? I occasionally have caffeine, but that's about it. It's not like my diet is the best so I'm sure there will be something in the way of repercussions there. I dunno. I'm just nervous. And I don't want diarrhea. Or to be constipated. Or especially to vomit. Scary. 😩

So far today has been fine. Despite not eating I haven't been very hungry (or thirsty) at all. I've had about 2 bottles of water and maybe 20 ounces of juice by now. And a tiny bit of coffee. I don't consider that cheating since it's not food, but it's not something I plan to make a habit of. I just went to bed wayyy late and got up wayyy early and was not having an easy time waking up.

Anyway, most of what I've read online says to only do a juice fast for a few days at first. And also from what I've read the detox and fading of the hunger pains really starts after a few days... So my question is: Who wants to get to that part and quit? Seems like it would be defeating the purpose. I thought you were supposed to push through the rough to get to the good feeling. The website that got me interested in trying this is doctoryourself.com. If you look under "Psoriasis" and "Juicing" that's where I got most of my info to start with. But then I started Googling things and looking on YouTube at videos and I'm getting a lot of differing opinions. I mean, I'm going to do whatever works for me. I imagine that it's different for everyone (as with anything else).

So yeah. My first day has been good. Anyone have any fasting experiences they would like to share? Is it weird that I'm not really into food at the moment? I really thought that the first day would have been harder... I mean - there are chocolate truffles in the house. 😳

Anyway, off to bed. I need my sleeps. ❤

About fucking myself...

Normally when I'm concerned about something I keep it to myself (and maybe the few people closest to me). I have this bizarre fear that throwing it out into the universe will make things worse somehow. So, sharing this with you all is kind of not what I would normally do. But, I don't really believe that things could get much fucked-er, so why not?

If you don't know about this then the rest of this blog probably won't matter much to you. Or make any sense.

So, I filed a suit against the railroad companies and contractor (FINALLY). There are 3 that we're going after: Norfolk Southern, the railroad company, A & K Railroad (who are tied to Norfolk Southern somehow) and AllState Contractors (who did some of the work). Well, A & K Railroad wanted to settle for $5000 (half of what the lawyer is suing for), and at first I was going to take it. I was supposed to go sign the papers yesterday.

But then, it started raining.

Upon hearing the rain I looked out of the window at work and my stomach promptly tied itself in knots. This happens EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME IT RAINS ever since my house flooded. I panic because I never know if the water is going to come into my home again or just turn my yard into a swamp (like either of those are desirable options). And then I realized something:  The money wasn't going to fix the problem. Hell, after my lawyer's cut it wouldn't have even covered the damage done to my house. So I declined to settle for that.

I could tell that I upset my lawyer... he had the papers and the checks and everything right there waiting for me to sign. I'm so ready for all of this to be over with, but there's no point in fixing my home if I have to live in fear that it will flood again. So the lawyer says I should take some of that money and stop the flooding. Well, then what about my house? I didn't cause any of this. I really don't feel that I should be expected to come out of my pocket to fix someone else's mistake (not that I will ever have the money to).

I don't know. All I've asked is for the $5000 and for them to dig the ditch back out. I would be comfortable settling for that. If they won't do that then I have to decide whether to take the $5000 (which really comes out to be $2948 for me while the damage done to my home was estimated at $3200 - not to mention I'm out $200 in filing fees) and walk away or take this to court. And I'm not all that much of a gambler, but I really feel like I have a case. I mean, what idiot can't see that the "drainage ditch" is draining into my yard - not the other way around? I do have witnesses who have lived near this property for 20+ years who say this has never happened before, not to mention that I was here a year with no problems before the construction began.

Besides, who would want to live with this? (And yes, it's recent).

  

For me and you: My favorite juice recipes!

I keep discovering new ones so maybe I'll keep this updated. I've found so many good ones that I don't want to forget them. AND (although most of my friends are like, "Dude, you've lost it") a couple of people have actually expressed interest in my juicing - so that's all of the encouragement I needed. 😀 Here you go! Try to keep up with my really precise measurements, mmmk?

1)

1/2 bag of baby spinach

2 small apples

4 regular carrots

When I'm trying to be SUPER-DUPER healthy I add in about a quarter of a beet and about 2 hands full of either black seedless grapes OR strawberries. It really takes the edge off the beet.

2)

4 carrots

2 small apples

1 hand full of strawberries

3)

4 carrots

2 small apples

1 pinch of ginger

4)

4 carrots

2 hands full of black grapes

That's all I've got so far. I'm expanding - slowly but surely. I just needed to start with things that I'm familiar with and that were pretty simple.

Also, anything like just plain apple or orange is really delicious... SO much better than anything you could buy in a store.

ALSO, Janet, if you read this: Do you happen to remember what you juiced at my house that night? Some weird thing... grapes and blueberries? I can't remember, but it was nice and sweet. 😊