We had a bit of a rough start this morning.

We had a bit of a rough start this morning. Bear decided to chase the cats. He was not easily redirected and Shaun and I were feeling pretty down. We like Bear, but we have to coexist peacefully here or this adoption isn't going to work.

Shortly after that, Bear and Cub went outside and played pretty vigorously. I kind of felt bad for Bear because he's just not... agile. 😂 He seems happy to play, but my gosh he is clumsy.

Something to note:  We have a locking doggie door and it takes a few moments to unlock once the dog approaches it. It makes a sound so it's obvious when that happens.

Keeping that in mind... When Bear and Cub were playing this morning Bear took off so fast and ran head-first into the doggie door. Hard. TWICE in a row. 😂😂😂 Poor buddy. Me and Shaun were watching them play through the window and lost it when he did that. He did fine with the door yesterday, but maybe in the heat of the moment forgot to give it a second to unlock.

Anyway, since the boys played together this morning Bear hasn't chased the cats again. He's been polite. He's approached them and sniffed and left them alone and we have praised him every time he's done that. I'm hoping it was just a case of the morning zoomies in which case we can send the boys out to play and prevent that from happening again. We're going to do our best to work this out.

Pictured here is Bear, confused by why the couch is growling at him. (Harley hides under the couch cover all the time, so it's him under there - probably scared because he doesn't want to get sat / laid on). 😂  Zoom in on this dog's face. He sure is expressive. 😂

So... This wasn't planned.

So... This wasn't planned. Shaun and I had discussed getting a friend for Cub - but in a few months after some work on our backyard is done.

For whatever reason, Shaun has been on PetFinder and some local pet adoption sites. We were back and forth about meeting anyone, but Cub has been really down and obviously I have a dog-shaped hole in my heart. Ultimately, we thought this guy looked sweet and decided to take Cub to meet him.

When I say those boys hit it off, I mean... The introduction went REALLY well. The rescue had us fill out a questionnaire, and before we knew it we were signed up for a trial adoption. We have a week to decide if he's staying, but so far, so good.

His name is Bear. He's about a year old. He does have a luxating patella (basically his knee cap slides around), but we're going to have that checked out and already have some ramps on the way to make the house more accessible. He was at the shelter through his prime puppy years, but never was adopted despite attending adoption events. I have my suspicions on why that may be, but to be honest when I saw him in person I loved him even more. 😂😂😂 To me, that Glamour Shot on his profile just didn't do him justice.

I'm gonna be honest and say that he's about as goofy as he looks. 😂 He's a little chaotic, but in the sweetest way. He trips over things and runs into things. He can definitely see and hear, but I'm not sure how well. He seems to really like feet. He also likes toys more than Cub does, so that's neat. He gives sloppy, toothy kisses. He plays well with Cub and both Kira and Shadow like him already.

I guess I can give it a few more days before I call it official, but he's doing well. He's had no accidents inside. He's figured out the doggie door. He spent the afternoon / evening making laps through the house, out the door, around the yard, and back in again. 😂 I counted about 8 laps before he stopped. I don't know what that was about, but whatever floats his boat.

Anyway, meet Bear! Hopefully, you'll be seeing a lot more of this funny face in the future. ❤️

The ride home

Checking out the view

Bear had Shaun retrieving a toy from under the couch

😛

Sibling snuggles. 😍

Sibling "snuggles." 😍

These boys love each other, but...

These boys love each other, but Toebean (the orange one) isn't usually a lap kitty. I guess he decided that he needed to snuggle Balthazar regardless of the fact that he was in my lap. 😊❤️

When I say that Cub never snuggles Balthazar...

When I say that Cub never snuggles Balthazar, it's not an exaggeration. Cub is uncomfortable with Balthie coming up to him and laying near him; Cub will even look for a way to get up and leave without disturbing the cat and getting "in trouble."

This is highly unusual. I think Cub is having feelings. He was so excited to have another dog around. Even though he didn't understand why Oreo wasn't playful or why he barked at the things he barked at I think he was really happy to have him here.

Cub is usually a Papa's boy, but he's been up my butt the last few days. Even when the "mean" cat was in my lap.

It's ok, buddy. I appreciate the extra love and I know you need it, too. ❤️

I promise...

I promise that I will get around to responding to everyone's comments individually in few days, but right now I'm still raw and trying to process.

I do want to say that I've been reading every one of them, though, and I am overwhelmed by the love and support that has been shown to me, Aunt Taimi, and Oreo. This is not the ending any of us wanted or expected.

I am mourning not only the loss of one of the sweetest, cuddliest boys I've had the pleasure of knowing, but the loss of the life I'd planned to give him.  I wanted to spoil him. To have him crawl over everyone and everything in his way when it was time to snuggle. To have him stand politely with his face inches away from my face so I could kiss him easily. To kiss his kissy spot on top of his head. To see him outgrow his clothes and his need for clothes. To get him his first pup cup. To watch him feel well enough to play with Cub. I am beyond sad that none of those things will ever happen.

Instead of being able to look forward to all of those things, I'm fighting to accept that the short time we had was enough.

I'm trying to hold my focus on his good days. On the small health gains he made. On him enjoying his first plush bed. On him wanting to explore the house and be near us. On the bones he got to chew. On him resting on his back with his legs in the air. On him snuggling in with Carla, cuddling his Aunt Taimi, and playing with Kiwi. On his nightly cheese ritual. On the deep sleep he got knowing he was safe. On being welcomed home by Cub and the cats, like he just belonged.

The love we all (I'm including everyone who has been following his story) share for sweet Oreo was brief, but beautiful. It was big. I can't claim to know how the universe works, but I hope he felt every bit of love and support sent his way. I know that I sure have. And I am so grateful to not be going through this alone.

Thank you. Thank every one of you for your love and support and prayers and good vibes and kind words. It matters. It helps. I am not ok today, but I know I will be eventually. Because if we learned anything from Oreo, it was to hold on through the bad times until the better ones came back around. ❤️❤️❤️

Our sweet boy didn't make it, y'all. 😭😭😭

Our sweet boy didn't make it, y'all. 😭😭😭

He was full of growths (could have been cancer or a fungal infection). Like, it was bad. He had a mass at the blood supply to his intestines. His lymph nodes were affected. There were lots of adhesions. At least 18 inches of his small intestine were thickened to 4x what it should have been. The surgeon said there was no way to remove it all. She's surprised he was even eating at all.

I take solace in our cuddles last night. He seemed to feel pretty good, considering. No nausea or vomiting. I'm glad it ended on a better note. It could have been worse.

I am pretty devastated. He was such a tough and good and sweet boy. I don't really know what to do with myself. My heart feels shattered - like I'd had him for years. I am so glad I kissed his kissy spot one last time before we left him. 💔💔💔