We put a shade cloth over my plants...

We put a shade cloth over my plants because it's not even summer yet and several were straight up BAKING - literally browning around the edges BAKED. It's a 40% shade cloth. It's still nice and bright under there, but definitely a good bit cooler. I've never had plants outdoors before, so I'm gonna keep a close eye on them. I think they'll feel a lot better during the hottest part of the day.

In other news, check out the bloom on this little buddy:

Bear's surgery went well.

Bear's surgery went well. He's waking up. Staying overnight, of course.

No news overnight is good news. We'll touch base in the morning on whether he can come home or needs to stay another day/night.

He didn't need the extra procedure on his ACL, so that's a relief.

We miss our Booger Bear, but we're going to make sure the house is ready for him to come home. Shaun has already washed his bed and the couch covers. I'm going to vacuum and make sure we mop. We're going to do our best to make sure everything is clean to prevent infection.

Otherwise, we wait.

Thank you all for rooting for our sweet boy! ❤️

He's under sedation and doing well.

We've dropped our sweet Bear off.

Yesterday, Shaun had to remove some bushes from the yard...

Yesterday, Shaun had to remove some bushes from the yard. They weren't growing well, but more importantly is that when we looked them up they were poisonous to animals. That is a problem because of Bear. He taste-tests EVERYTHING. I'm kind of wondering if trying the bush might have been what upset his stomach so bad recently.

Anyway, after Shaun had most of the bush removed he found these eggs under it. He felt bad about having removed the protection from the nest, so he replaced it with the lid to our old recycling bin (propped open so the birds can get in). It's not the most beautiful solution, but the birds have been back, so I guess they have accepted it.

I'm super excited. We have pigeons and mourning doves nesting here, and now this nest of quail eggs. I love them all so much. I'm happy they've chosen our yard to have their family in. ❤️

On top of my health issues...

On top of my health issues from the previous post, I'm stressed about Bear's upcoming surgery.

I trust his surgeon, but there's always a chance that things can go wrong. I worry that he will go under anesthesia and not wake up. His precious little brain doesn't strike me as neurotypical. His surgeon did say that she didn't believe the seizures increased his chances of a bad outcome regarding anesthesia, so there is that.

I am also concerned about the possibility of a personality change once he's in less pain. I remember when my psoriatic arthritis was at its worst. I was practically a different person. Pain (especially chronic pain) does terrible things to you. I am happier and more comfortable than I've ever been in my life, and I desperately want that for Bear. I just know how life-changing it can be and I wonder if/how that's going to affect him.

He's a whole mess already and manages to get into everything as it is. We may be in trouble when he's less lame. 😂 But that's an ok kind of trouble. I'm fine with that.

I guess it's the fear of the unknown getting to me, on top of the worry about his recovery. Double knee surgery is no joke. We're going to have to keep him still and calm for quite a while so he doesn't wreck the results of his surgery. He's going to need help getting up and walking for several weeks. We're going to have a sling to help him get around. I hope he won't hate us for putting him through that, but it will definitely be for the best.

I slept late today and when I woke up Shaun was outside with the dogs. I came out to put some trash in the dumpster and then called out to Bear and he looked happy to see me and came running. It made my heart so happy. He greets me every morning and checks on me with kisses throughout the day. But like I said, I don't think he's neurotypical and he's not very snuggly so his brand of affection is different than any other dog I've ever had. But this morning he looked obviously happy to see me and that made me feel so loved. I'm over here in my feelings because I just want everything to go well and our sweet boy to be ok.

Confession:

Confession:

I've been a raging bitch for days.

I am once again dealing with symptoms of perimenopause and I don't have it in me to be nice. I have asked Shaun repeatedly to please just go play games or something and leave me alone so I won't snap at him for trying to do the crime of speaking to me - but here he sits. I don't know what is wrong with this man, but he says he chooses me even on days like this over anyone else. It's sweet, but also like - why endure this? 😂

My period is a week late and I feel like I've been in extended PMS for all of this time. My boobs have been sore, I'm exhausted, I'm ill. Before you all ask:  I am not pragarnante. I took a test and it was negative. It also isn't likely because I have a ParaGard IUD that's supposed to be good for some years yet.

I guess it's good timing since my work project is almost done. I can schedule some doctor appointments and prepare for that battle. I'm not planning to go into menopause yet. I want hormone replacement therapy. I've read that many doctors are against it due to an increased risk of cancer, but I'm firmly in the quality of life over quantity of life camp for myself.

I don't know everything; there is still a bunch of research to do. But I've read that there might be evidence that HRT could delay the onset of Alzheimer's/Dementia, which is one of my biggest fears. Both of my grandmothers had that and it was terrifying. I also want to keep my bone density and I've read that the shift in hormones that occurs in peri is one of the causes of bone loss. I also straight up don't want to deal with lack of sleep and hot flashes. I am in the beginning of my career and I don't have time to be debilitated.

I know many of you who haven't/won't experience this don't think it's a big deal, but the suffering of those of us who go through this matters. And I'm not gonna take it laying down.

So, fun times abound.

Edited to add this link for anyone who might need it:

www.menopausewiki.ca