We cleaned a bit.

We cleaned a bit. I didn't do a marathon cleaning day like I normally do on the weekends, but it helped.

I think I'm about to have to get back on my list bullshit. There is no one so aimless as a Blu without a list. 😂

I'm about to go clean our bathroom and then shower. This is going to sound super gross (and it is), but Balthazar has been shitting in the tub since we moved him upstairs (so for a few months now). It's better than when he was having diarrhea on the carpet downstairs. He's on meds and his poops look a lot better (and are more firm), but I wake up and clean the tub, go up during the day and clean the tub, and also clean it before I go to bed.

I don't mind. I don't see it as any different than when your parents or grandparents are at the end of their lives and need help in that area. I never scold him because if he felt ok with using the litter box, he would. This is just how the end of life goes. It's not easy or pretty, and it's often messy and a lot of work. But I'd rather have my cat than an always-clean tub. At least until he's ready to go.

I took this video yesterday. Balthi is clearly not ready to go. He's always done the "rub down your leg and flip at your feet" for as long as I can remember. I'm glad I got it on video because it's just too cute. He's a sweet old man. ❤️

I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed.

I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed. I have been for weeks and it hasn't eased up yet. Every chance I get I hide in my bed. I'm concerned this overwhelm is triggering breakthrough depression.

I've DoorDashed my current favorite snack and plan to do some housework after I digest. I like my house and want to take care of it. I always feel better after I do. Maybe being productive will lift my spirits a bit.

I spent most of the day with my plants.

I spent most of the day with my plants. Got a few neat pics.

My little collection of Aloe

This tiny cactus in the front looks like it's growing a bloom. Check out the little swirl on top.

I just love this because it looks like fangs.

This pretty lady bloomed again.

This cactus is showing out.

This cactus is showing out. I love her so much! ❤️

Thank you, Patricia! She's one of my favorites! 😊

This poor boy misses being outside.

This poor boy misses being outside. There's no way we can let him go by himself with the state of the yard. Soon, buddy. ❤️

This is a "volume up" situation.

This is a "volume up" situation. I started getting a migraine around 5 this morning and Shaun sent me photos and videos of the cuteness I was missing. Here is the video. I guess Bear was in a silly mood this morning. 😂

Today was Balthazar's follow-up appointment.

Today was Balthazar's follow-up appointment. He was ready. When I went upstairs to get him he was already in his carrier. Of course he came out to greet me, but he went back in easily. He's such a chill, sweet, lovey old kitten.

His appointment went well. He pretty cooperative and purred through his exam. He showed the vet his whole personality - foot fetish and all. 😂 He loves feet. He rubs down your shin and flips over at your feet, just grabbing and nuzzling. It hurts and tickles, but he's so happy. He's a mess.

His top fangs definitely need to come out. Due to his age and other health conditions it's a little risky to put him under, but his doctor is going to consult with the internal medicine vet and get her opinion before surgery. We went ahead and scheduled him for June 14th.

At this point I feel like I have to be ok with the fact that he might not make it through anesthesia. We won't allow him to suffer with painful teeth, so they have to come out or we have to make THE hard decision. And since he's had pain meds he's been acting brand new, so I feel like that says a lot about the quality of life he'd have without those teeth. Plus, he's not acting like he's done with life at all, and we try to follow their lead.

He's going back on Tuesday for more pain meds. We'll also be taking Harley to be seen, as well. Last night me and Shaun and Kira were up talking and Harley came meowing through the living room, then stopped and peed on the couch right in front of all of us. That can't be a good sign.

It's always something. I'm just grateful we're in a position to care for these old kittens as they age. If I hadn't gone back to school there is no way I could provide them with the quality of life that I want them to have.

I was looking back at my album today and our youngest cats are 8 years old (excluding my Gramson, Leon, because that's Kira's son). The youngest creature here is Bear. We only have Bear because Oreo didn't make it, which left me and Cub with a dog-shaped hole to fill.

For the last few years our family has grown smaller rather than larger. Sadly, I see that trend continuing because that is just how life goes. But I'm so grateful for every one of these kids. They enrich my life every day and I can only hope they know how much I love and appreciate them. ❤️