TMI Warning. Just sayin'.

TMI Warning.  Just sayin'.

So... getting my IUD out was a lot like delivering Shadow on time:  It didn't happen.

No, what happened instead was kind of awful.  One of the more painful experiences I can recall in my life - and all of that for absolutely nothing.

The doctor who inserted my Mirena 5 years ago trimmed my strings quite short because they kept poking me.  And sometimes they poked another person, too, which was not pleasant for either of us.  I guess it was effective birth control if no one wanted to get laid due to its presence, but that's not really what I was going for.  So I either had to get the strings trimmed or have it removed.  Since I'd heard great things about it I opted to get the strings trimmed and deal with the possible difficulties of having it removed at a later time.

Well.  That time has come.

Today, Dr. Daniels tried to remove it.  He tried REALLY hard.  And it completely sucked to be me right then.

My cervix is tilted back, apparently, so clamps were in order to hold it where he could see what he was doing.  Then he used a little bristle brush thing to try to catch the strings.  When that failed he used a hook.  When that failed he tried both again - and then gave up.  I will spare you the details of how all of that felt, but I am proud to say that I kept my composure - at least until he left the room.  Then I just had to cry it off.  I actually might not be done crying it off, but I can save it for later.  I won't cry in front of you, Internet.  I don't want to make you too uncomfortable.

Though he said he could feel it with his tools he wanted to double-check with a sonogram to make absolutely sure it was still there.  Seeing as how I'm not pregnant, not having periods, and haven't found a stray IUD anywhere I was pretty sure it wasn't lost, but I agreed.  So they called me back for that and much to my surprise they busted out with a wand.  I don't know why I thought I'd have the easy "on the tummy" sonogram, but that is not what they had in mind.  It was actually a piece of cake compared to what I'd just been through, but still not pleasant.  They confirmed that it's still in there, btw.

So.  June 10th is the day.  They gave me a prescription for a Valium and a Loritab.  I am supposed to take both, plus 2 Mortrin an hour before my next procedure.  I imagine that he's gonna go in there and dig a bunch more.  At least Medicaid will cover that, but if for some reason that doesn't get it out I'll have to go to the hospital and my insurance WON'T cover that.  So here's hoping he can dig it out.

I gotta say I'm not really thrilled about taking the drugs.  I wish they could do it under local anesthesia.  Pills usually affect me in a very bad way.  Loritabs make me puke (as I learned when I had an impacted wisdom tooth removed).  I guess I'll just eat a lot and hope that it doesn't upset my stomach.  Maybe I'll even just take half of each.  I don't know, but I'm more afraid of how I'll feel due to the drugs than how the procedure is gonna make me feel.  🙁  I'd rather feel pain than feel like barfing.

Anyway, thank goodness Shaun drove me today.  It was a rough day and it was nice to have backup.  When I had my Mirena put in years ago I was with a guy who didn't drive so I was on my own.  I was woozy after the insertion so I had to sit at the doctor's office until I felt ok enough to drive.  Lame.  Needless to say - Shaun will take me on June 10th, too.  And that makes me feel kind of special and a lot less alone.  That is especially nice when scary or hurty things are happening.

And just for the record I do plan to get a fresh Mirena put in once this one is removed.  It has been 5 years of no periods, no pads, no mood swings.  No worrying or thinking about birth control.  I just won't get my strings cut THAT short again.  Lesson learned.

Now, I'm off to put on some pajamas and roll up in a ball and forget about earlier.  Later, friends.