It's after 8 and Blackboard says...

It's after 8 and Blackboard says I'm still in Biology and Ethics.  LOL  So much for checking it in the morning.

I've been up since 6:30 this morning.  I didn't sleep until 3 or even noon any day this weekend, so I feel like I'm making progress on making a good sleep schedule into habit.  Never thought I'd see the day that I went to sleep and woke up around the same time every day, but here I am - acting like a real adult.  LOL

This isn't much, but I did one bodyweight circuit from Nerdfitness this morning, too.  I could do more, but it's hot in my house (the A/C keeps freezing - guy is on the way!), but I also don't want to burn out.  I really don't like to exercise, even though it does make me feel better.  So I'm taking baby steps and that's ok.

Maybe by the time I come off these antidepressants I will have built enough good habits that I'm just ok.  I suppose only time will tell, but I do know that any self-care habits I had before I started school have gone down the toilet one by one and that when my animals died I beat myself up RELENTLESSLY over it.  It also doesn't help that I carry around a massive amount of guilt over my life being mostly ok when so many others are not.  I am not more deserving than people who are born in horrible countries or the animals we farm or anyone in the ecosystems we destroy - I just got lucky.  It's really not fair and I have no idea how to reconcile that except to help others when I can, but it feels like not enough.

And with that, I'm off to clean my litter boxes, feed everyone, and shower.  Happy Monday, people.  ❤