I've had a few people check on me...

I've had a few people check on me (y'all are amazing!), so I thought I'd post an official update on my mental well-being.  I'm currently waiting for my Melatonin to kick in, so the plan is to not make this a lengthy update, but damn I like words, so we'll see.  😛

The short answer is yes - I'm doing ok.  THANK GOODNESS!  I feel basically stable.  I've been going to bed around the same time every night (close to now-ish, if it hasn't been a particularly hard day that causes me to crash sooner).  Unfortunately, I usually still wake up around 3 am, but I just stay in bed and kind of drift in and out until I get up at 6:30.  (This semester brought a lot of changes because I've never been one to willingly follow a schedule, but it's for the best right now.)

I never did up myself back to the full dosage of Celexa and I'm not sure if I will.  My appointment with the mental health center is in late October, so as long as nothing major comes up I'm just going with what I'm doing for now because it seems to be working.

My jaw has mostly stopped clenching, though I'm burning through gum and gummies, too.  (Gummies make a nice low-calorie chewy snack, I've found.)  I'm not eating like a horse; in fact, my appetite has decreased a bit, but I really think that I was overeating before because I felt like crap.  I have more energy and I haven't yet been exercising as much as I'd intended, but I am walking a good bit more and tend to work more around the house in the evenings instead of coming home and just being a lump on the couch.  So I call that progress.

Anyway.  This is better.  I am having a bit of what I've found out is called "emotional blunting" but with my over-feeling self it kind of feels like a vacation.  It's not major, but I am able to watch, you know, American Ninja Warrior with the guys and not cry.  (Seriously.  I was ridiculous before.  I mean - that's me and it's ok, but I don't have time to deal with myself right now.  LOL)  It's not like I don't care about things anymore because I super do, but some things just aren't taking a toll on me like they used to and I need that - for a while, at least.

So, there you go.  No more death thoughts.  No more couch-lump, unmotivated Blu.  The only bad health thing at the moment is that my Psoriasis and Arthritis are flaring up a little, but it's not super bad yet.  I need to make time to see a doctor, but my schedule is busy - at least for a few more weeks.  I hear that we finish one class kind of early in the semester, so if we do I will have a bit more time to worry about me.  In the meantime I'm just working and going to school, as usual!

Super thank you to everyone who helped me and who checked on me.  I need friends like that in my life.  I'm so thankful for you all!  ❤