I've been having nightmares about losing my dogs...

I've been having nightmares about losing my dogs who already passed away. Lowrider, Scooter, Emma, and Nappy. It's not a big comfort to wake up and remember that they have died, except for the fact that I was with them all until the end rather than them being lost out in the world with who knows what happening to them.

I've been crying a lot lately. I don't think Lexapro is working for me anymore. The emotional blunting of antidepressants has been a lifesaver over the last few years, and that seems to be fading away. I've felt either dead inside or weepy lately, and that's not productive or fun.

Today was a relief; I got my biggest final exam out of the way. I'm no longer sure I'll pass that class, so I legitimately might fail 3/4 of my classes. I've never had a semester like this before in my life. Considering that I've only made 3 Cs in the almost 5 years I've been in college, this is a big change. I'm not a fan. I don't really know what to do besides to keep trying, though.

Dinorah came over this afternoon and I got tears when I heard her voice. I have tears now. I wish school didn't kill us both and that we had more time to act like people. She brought me a Gooey Butter Bar and took me for food. Then we watched videos of our wife and it was so good. I desperately needed that.

I'm sorry if I end up unresponsive for the next while. I don't know what is happening.