For the first time in probably two months...

I got up when Shaun called me this morning. I feel ok, I've done all of my morning rounds, and I'm ready for work. Honestly I should already be there, but getting in at 10:30 beats rolling in at 1 or 3 any day so I'll take it.

My body feels a little weird, but I have gradually felt my life force return since the removal of my Mirena. I would like to encourage all the ladies who are using hormonal birth control in any form to not overlook the side effects if you are feeling "off." In my case I was on a slow but steady emotional decline. Things got bad enough that I lashed out and stopped doing ANYTHING (even things I liked doing) until some people who care told me I should seek help. I didn't suspect my birth control at first at all because there had been some stress in my life and I thought "Well, feeling this way is probably all part of aging." Turns out it wasn't and I am SO THANKFUL for that.

It could be as simple as trying something new to get you feeling all better again. My personal preference for now is to stay off of hormonal methods which is going to be difficult, but in my personal opinion - WORTH IT. If you are happy with what you are using then more power to you. I'm not trying to push my preferences on anyone - just want to point out that if you aren't so great don't rule it out as the cause. Your happiness and emotional well-being are worth it.

Now, off to work!

Just got an email...

Just got an email... my girly business shipped yesterday from Germany.  I shall have it in about 2 weeks.  🙂

"I'm looking for a boy...

"I'm looking for a boy with a turtle bite on his index finger."

Sounds like my kind of guy. 😛

I'm home.

I'm home. I didn't work for long. I feel emotionally ok, but physically pretty crappy. I feel PMS-y in my body, but nada yet. I'm sore and achy and crampy and BLOATED - and lacking energy in a big way. I am also dealing with bouts of nausea and headaches. I kind of feel like I'm trapped somewhere between PMS and the Mirena Crash. I guess if I had thought it through I might have realized that there would be some side effects after having a hormone in me for 6 years then quitting cold-turkey. Oh well. 

On the bright side I got nail mail today. I ordered some polish from a blog sale and it was waiting for me when I got home. 🙂 I guess the flip side to that is that if I have any energy I'll probably use it cleaning, not doing my nails. Maybe soon I'll feel like painting again.

Had a weird night.

Had a weird night.  I was unintentionally up pretty late, but I feel much better knowing that I have BC options on the way.  I was sort of panicking.  I don't like feeling limited to having only things I don't want.  That's stupid.

So as I was getting ready for bed - at 3 am - I noticed that my bathroom was occupied.  What?  I knocked on the door and Shadow was up getting ready for school.  He was apparently REALLY confused.  I don't know how that happened (he has an alarm clock in his room!), but I told him it was 3 and to go back to bed.  So he did and then I went to bed, too.

I was later woken up at 6:something by a rather panicked 14 year old who had missed the bus somehow.  I didn't want to take him to school, but I did.  I guess that's my job.

While I was up I noticed that I didn't feel so great.  I am rather sore in the guts area, nauseated, and have a headache.  I'm (FINALLY) almost over my sinus crap - so I have a feeling that these are side effects of the removal of my Mirena.  My mood doesn't completely suck again today, so that's nice, but since I don't feel great, meh.  I don't feel like doing much.  I did go back to sleep for a while, but that didn't really help.  I'm gonna eat some breakfast, take some Ibuprofen, and head to work.  Wish me luck.

Aww. Chupa's dreaming.

Aww.  Chupa's dreaming.

Speaking of... why am I not asleep?  Time just got totally away from me.  😳

Another BIRTH CONTROL Post:

I just placed an order from www.barriermethods.com. I bought the Caya Diaphragm (one size fits most), the 75mm Omniflex Wide Seal Diaphragm, and a couple of gentle spermicides to try out. Yay! On the down side they gotta come all the way from Germany so that's a wait. I guess that's ok - my uterus is sad from getting all stirred up and stabbed the other day. I don't need to go and have it poked at right now. 😂

Dr. Daniels prescribed a 75mm diaphragm so that is what I based my purchase on. I'm hoping that he was accurate. I do remember that I couldn't feel the one he put in and it didn't just fall out so I think that's a good sign.

 
I'm really glad that I can purchase things like this even if I can't do it easily. I was pretty panicked that I wasn't able to get my prescription filled around here. Shaun called Planned Parenthood and they said that the manufacturer discontinued the diaphragms (the Internet confirmed that), so there aren't really any suppliers to the U.S. right now. That is rather unfortunate. I strongly feel that we need more options - especially options that don't contain hormones.

 
While I loved my first IUD dearly I know that a lot of women never have any good experiences with them. I know that there is the copper IUD which is what I initially wanted, but after 6 years with an IUD and complications removing them both times I kind of think I've had my fill. Another issue with those is that Shaun often got poked by the stiff little strings (to the point of leaving actual marks on him), and that was pretty much a mood-killer.

 
I can honestly say that if it was up to me to take a pill every day I'd be knocked up. I'm not so great at being consistent and I'm not very fond of taking pills so that narrows my options quite a bit from the jump. I tried the NuvaRing before the Mirena (even though it was hormonal and I wasn't happy about that), and it was ok, but eventually killed my sex drive. Not quite the way I want to control pregnancy. 😂 I don't like condoms and it gets expensive to get anything nice so that's not my first choice, either. It's not like we need disease protection from each other so I kind of feel like I JUST DON'T WANT THAT, anyway.

 
I just don't think it should BE SO DIFFICULT. Regardless of the fact that we don't want kids I'm not really into getting myself spayed, nor do I want to push Shaun towards a vasectomy. I don't know why. I guess because it's like making a choice today for what happens in that area for the rest of your life. I guess I don't like to commit to permanent shit when who really damn knows what the future holds and I don't see anything wrong with that.

 
Anyway. I guess I'm done fussing. Well - aside from the fact that I am SUPPOSED to get free / cheap birth control from the good old USofA, but I just went and spent $175 - yep, you read that right - out of my own damn pocket to get something safe and that wouldn't screw with my moods. If the Caya works out it's good for 2 years and the Omniflex is good for... I don't know? Forever, maybe? It's made of silicon. I'll be sure to read the instructions that come with it so I know for sure. I guess that as long as one works out it wasn't a total waste. But free would have OBVIOUSLY been better.