I feel ok about maybe 75% of my upcoming Calculus test.

I feel ok about maybe 75% of my upcoming Calculus test.  I haven't even done any math yet today, but I did kick the ass of the last definitions.  It is literally a whole front and back of a sheet of notebook paper's worth of stuff to know.  WORD. FOR. WORD.  😳

This is it.  (You've probably already seen part of it, but repeating helps me.)  (Feel free to skip this post if you don't care, but my freaking hand is SO TIRED of writing and I'm running low on paper; unfortunately, that is what sticks it in my brain.)

•  Five Things Osborn Wants me to Know About Calculus:

1)  Calculus is a way of measuring change, including change in time and and space.

2)  Calculus can help address counterintuitive notions in physics and economics.

3)  Calculus is effective in "managing infinity."

4)  Calculus problems tend to lead to algebra and / or basic math problems.

5)  Calculus is a set of procedures which convert any function or combination of functions into a derivative, which describes the relationship between the variable at a particular point.

-  The two fundamental idea of Calculus are:

1)  The derivative.  This is a way of measuring instantaneous change.

2)  The integral.  This is a sum of numerous pieces.

-  A tangent is a straight line that touches a curve at a specific point.

-  A derivative, as it relates to the tangent, is the slope of a line that is tangent to a curve.

-  The three main purposes of Differential Calculus are:  1)  precision, 2)  approximation, 3)  maximum and minimum. 

-  Differential Calculus is the arithmetic of infinitely small differences of variable quantities. 

-  Integral Calculus is the deduction of magnitudes from the ratio of small changes of other magnitudes. 

Examples I also have to know:

1)  "Speed of Car."  Differential Calculus deals with finding speed of a car based on position.  Integral Calculus deals with determining the distance traveled when only the speed was known.

2)  "Road."  Differential Calculus is concerned with changes in elevation of the road, slope / steepness, and with guessing or determining what happened between measurements.  Integral Calculus is concerned not with the road itself, but with the area under it and how the area changes.

3)  "Vase."  Differential Calculus is about the rate at which a liquid is poured into the vase.  Integral Calculus is about how high the level of the liquid rises at a point, and how high this level will get over a time interval.

So yeah.  I did it.  I just went back and checked myself before posting and I had an "a" where there was supposed to be a "the" one time.  I'd say that's not bad.  I feel accomplished.  I think I am gonna take a dinner break and then see if my brain is awake enough for some actual math.  Woo!  LOL

I think I'm done. I can now write this...

I think I'm done. I can now write this after the other WHOLE page of stuff I can write off the top of my head:

"Differential Calculus is the arithmetic of infinitely small differences of variable quantities.

Integral Calculus is the deduction of magnitudes from the ratio of small changes of other magnitudes."

So, two sentences in one evening isn't very impressive, but it's progress. I'm exhausted after a week of work and school. I still need to memorize 3 descriptions of each of the types of Calculus, but it's not happening tonight. 😕 I also didn't do any math, but it's easier to remember words when I'm tired than new-ish math concepts.

Gotta get my brain working this weekend! Blegh. Wish me luck.

I feel so lame and boring lately, but...

I feel so lame and boring lately, but I have two tests on Monday... well, actually, three!

I have Psychology in the morning, a new Calculus test at 4, and then the re-take of my first Calculus test after that.

So... big surprise here:  I'm off to study.

Thankfully, my chrome and holo gel nails are hanging in there.  Not a single one has popped off!  All I've got is some tip-wear showing, and I guess that is not a good enough reason to take time away from studying to re-do them.  Maybe if I make enough progress I'll re-coat the tips or either add something to them.  I don't know.  But I need to try to be a good girl and keep my priorities straight.  😕  Next weekend should be less stressful if I can just keep my patience in check until then.

Anyway... Happy Weekend, friends!  If you don't see me around the Interwebz, you know why!  ❤

We finally found a thing that Nom WON'T eat...

We finally found a thing that Nom WON'T eat:  cherry tomatoes.  The kid will eat DVD cases and flip flops, but not freaking cherry tomatoes.

He is the weirdest tortoise ever.

Ooh! I just touched Beyonce and she didn't run!

Ooh!  I just touched Beyonce and she didn't run!

Granted - I BARELY touched her at the base of her tail, but she was looking right at me, so she knew I did it.  She was laying down with Snaga and I guess she was comfy.

When I fed all the other cats earlier they all wanted to be petted, so of course I did.  Beyonce was nearby (maybe 2 - 3 feet away), so I just looked up at her a few times while I petted them, like, "This could be you, too."  LOL  She always watches, but never approaches.  She was just waiting for me to move so she could eat.

I hope I can wear her down one of these days.  I'm trying hard!

Been working on Calculus.

Been working on Calculus. It's getting more complicated, so it's going to take a good bit of effort for me to get ready for the test on Monday. I still feel good about the 2/3 of the definitions I know. Still gotta tackle the last bit. I spent today on actual math and I'm gonna need more work on that before I'm comfortable. We're learning about the Epsilon - Delta definition of limits. It's neat and I understand it (mostly), but the math looks different. Gonna take some getting used to.

I've had a few people check on me...

I've had a few people check on me (y'all are amazing!), so I thought I'd post an official update on my mental well-being.  I'm currently waiting for my Melatonin to kick in, so the plan is to not make this a lengthy update, but damn I like words, so we'll see.  😛

The short answer is yes - I'm doing ok.  THANK GOODNESS!  I feel basically stable.  I've been going to bed around the same time every night (close to now-ish, if it hasn't been a particularly hard day that causes me to crash sooner).  Unfortunately, I usually still wake up around 3 am, but I just stay in bed and kind of drift in and out until I get up at 6:30.  (This semester brought a lot of changes because I've never been one to willingly follow a schedule, but it's for the best right now.)

I never did up myself back to the full dosage of Celexa and I'm not sure if I will.  My appointment with the mental health center is in late October, so as long as nothing major comes up I'm just going with what I'm doing for now because it seems to be working.

My jaw has mostly stopped clenching, though I'm burning through gum and gummies, too.  (Gummies make a nice low-calorie chewy snack, I've found.)  I'm not eating like a horse; in fact, my appetite has decreased a bit, but I really think that I was overeating before because I felt like crap.  I have more energy and I haven't yet been exercising as much as I'd intended, but I am walking a good bit more and tend to work more around the house in the evenings instead of coming home and just being a lump on the couch.  So I call that progress.

Anyway.  This is better.  I am having a bit of what I've found out is called "emotional blunting" but with my over-feeling self it kind of feels like a vacation.  It's not major, but I am able to watch, you know, American Ninja Warrior with the guys and not cry.  (Seriously.  I was ridiculous before.  I mean - that's me and it's ok, but I don't have time to deal with myself right now.  LOL)  It's not like I don't care about things anymore because I super do, but some things just aren't taking a toll on me like they used to and I need that - for a while, at least.

So, there you go.  No more death thoughts.  No more couch-lump, unmotivated Blu.  The only bad health thing at the moment is that my Psoriasis and Arthritis are flaring up a little, but it's not super bad yet.  I need to make time to see a doctor, but my schedule is busy - at least for a few more weeks.  I hear that we finish one class kind of early in the semester, so if we do I will have a bit more time to worry about me.  In the meantime I'm just working and going to school, as usual!

Super thank you to everyone who helped me and who checked on me.  I need friends like that in my life.  I'm so thankful for you all!  ❤