I am feeling a bit more optimistic about Bun this morning.

I am feeling a bit more optimistic about Bun this morning.  When Shaun offered her baby food she ate a very small amount on her own.  Shaun ended up feeding her by syringe again (which we both hate being a part of), but she's not throwing up right now; she just doesn't want to eat for whatever reason.  Her mouth looks ok so it could just be no appetite.  Anyway.  I'm thankful that she's keeping food down.

Her posture looks more relaxed and her eyes aren't glazed and her paws aren't as cold.  That last one might be because I moved her to my bedroom and while I am almost never hot - I do have a heater on in here so much that I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt with no hoodie.  She also slept last night instead of crying and I'm not sure what that is due to, but I'm grateful that we were both able to rest.

Before Shaun went to work he offered her a cat treat and she did chew it up and ingest at least part of it on her own.  She is currently resting but I heard her moving around and looked at her to find her grooming her paws so I'm hoping that our little BunBun is on the mend.  I hate what I have seen her go through over the last few days and have come really close to calling it quits because I can't handle the thought of her suffering.  I don't want to be too overly optimistic because I don't think she is totally out of the woods yet, but I'm so very relieved that she at least seems to be feeling improved.

I'm staying home with her again today and studying math.  I should be going to classes, but when I have an average of 100 in two classes and am struggling in two others I think it's perfectly acceptable to skip the easy stuff and put that time and energy into the more difficult stuff - so that is what I'm doing.  I really appreciate this kind of freedom in college.  Wish me luck in math and Java.  ❤

I took Bun back to the vet because she wasn't eating.

I took Bun back to the vet because she wasn't eating. They gave her an injection that was supposed to help with nausea within 30 minutes and last for 24 hours. I've been trying all day to get her to eat the food they gave me (or anything at all) - with no success. 🙁

Then Shaun arrives here and I'm prepared to have the euthanasia talk with him. But then he offers her the same thing I've been trying to give her all day AND SHE ATE A LITTLE BIT OF IT. I am happy about that and grateful for the fact that she hasn't thrown it up as of yet, but even small progress makes me want to give her more time as bad as she seems to feel. I really hate deciding when "it's time" worse than anything in the world.

Highlight of my day:

Highlight of my day:  Shadow got his braces off.  Look at those chompers! ❤❤❤

I'm up far too late on a school night.

I'm up far too late on a school night. Bun isn't doing well. She's stopped eating. I am so sad to think this way, but I know she feels terrible and I can't watch her suffer anymore. If the vet has no other suggestions we will probably have to let her go in the morning. 😭😭😭 Shaun and I have spent all weekend injecting fluids under her skin, medicating her, encouraging her to eat, and loving her. I'd really hoped to see improvement; she is not even 3 years old yet - far too young for this. But she is the runt of her litter and also very unique, which isn't always a good thing. Our hearts are breaking.

I guess I'd better try to get some sleep. I have class in the morning. I'm desperate for a sliver of good news in the morning.

Hi, friends! So... I have news.

Hi, friends!  So... I have news.  I'm marrying Shaun on Wednesday, March 14th.  We know it's weird to do things like this in the middle of the week, but we don't care.  We do what we do.  LOL

I am not a very formal person and also not a big fan of tradition and ceremony, but we will be having a small, quick thing in Talladega at 5:30.  I have only really told the people who are super close to me about it, so if you haven't gotten a personal "Hey, do you want to watch me get married?" from me, then please don't feel offended.  Just shoot me a message and let me know if you'd like the address.

Since I have never done this before and since we live separately with two households worth of stuff, it never crossed my mind to have a registry where people could buy us things.  It's come up a few times, though, so we made a registry at Target (link below).  Admittedly, money is tight with Shaun supporting both households on one income while I finish school, so there are things we could use but that are not urgent enough for us to run out and buy.  I've marked the most important stuff, which you will notice is mainly things for the kids.

Which, speaking of the kids I want to make it clear that this day is not only about me and Shaun.  Yes, we have waited for this for a very long time, but there has always been more than the two of us involved here.  We are planning to do a commitment ceremony to Shadow and Kira, as well, which is why they are included on our registry.  Blood relation or not, we're a family and we want them both to feel that deep in their bones, especially as they are both entering the scary stage of young adulthood.

Anyway, I'm pretty excited to finally get to marry the love of my life.  He is my very best friend and I couldn't imagine my life without him.

Registry Link:  [redacted]

I'm getting married next week.

I'm getting married next week.  I am happy and excited to finally be able to "make it official" with the love of my life.  But my self esteem is taking a real hit with so many of the wonderful women I know pestering me about makeup.  It's really making me sad.

This whole thing is happening in the middle of the week.  We don't currently have the time, money, or energy to "make it fancy."  Not only that, but we're NOT fancy.  I spit in the face of tradition.  I do what I want.  I have a wedding dress, but by chance only; my dad found it while dumpster diving and gave it to me.  I will not be wearing it because that is not me.

Shaun is doing his thing and he's really pumped.  No one is giving him any input on what he "should" be doing.  But it seems like there is a ton coming my way (especially regarding my face), and I'm not a fan.  I don't know if it's a girl thing or what, but I haven't always dreamed of this day, I never had any real thoughts about how I'd like it to go, and I just want to enjoy it.  I care much more about the content of our day than how it looks.

I haven't worn makeup in YEARS.  I don't like it.  My skin hurts often and to be honest I usually straight up like my face.  But for the first time in ages I'm having anxiety about how it looks.  I don't like that and I don't want it, but now it's here and I don't know what to do with it.  So, thank you for that, society.

And to be clear:  This is NOT directed at anyone in particular.  I feel like everyone has come out of the woodwork to tell me I need to cover my face.

This is why I'm marrying Shaun.

This is why I'm marrying Shaun. Bun is sick. The vet suspects a severe kidney infection and she's super dehydrated. She's got oral antibiotics and is on subQ fluids at home. He slept with Bun last night and is helping me care for her today. I couldn't have asked for a better person to share my life with. ❤❤❤