I just asked Kira how she manages...

I just asked Kira how she manages to get the whole bathroom counter wet when she washes her hands. 

Her response?

"I go crazy on it."

At least she's honest. 😂😂😂

Today started off pretty rough.

Today started off pretty rough.  I took my Cymbalta yesterday morning but still didn't really sleep last night; maybe a couple of hours here and there.  I woke up feeling like I was going to get a migraine, but thankfully took medicine in time to head it off.  I managed to not nap today; the kids came over and kept me company (and raided the kitchen, of course).  😂  It was good to see them.  Now it's late and I'm sleepy, so that's good timing.  I hope I get some rest tonight because I have class in the morning.  In any case I talked to my doctor and she recommended staying with taking it in the mornings and made sure to let me know I could try something else if this doesn't work out.  I'm not ready to give up on it yet, though.

In other news:  I really really love Shaun.  The other night when I was trying to sleep and I heard him getting ready for work I wanted to tell him "Good morning!" or "I love you" or anything, but I was afraid to rouse myself out of the pitiful semi-sleep I'd been able to achieve, so I didn't.  His schedule is all weird; at his job they are trying to keep the employees away from one another by everyone working a different shift (it's a very small company), so he's going in at 3 in the morning.  It sucks for him to have to go to work so early, but better safe than sorry.

He's been so great to me, even through my depression when I'm just a lump doing its best to keep existing.  He brings me food and does things for me when I'm struggling.  And he's so beautiful to me, with his muscles and his shapes and his fur.  His face is my favorite face ever.  I'm so happy that even after 12 years together my heart still gets happy when he comes home.  I know this is not an easy time for him.  

He's been majorly depressed since Trump was elected.  BLM has affected him.  His dad isn't doing that well and wants him around, but the pandemic makes that scary and stressful.  I wish I could help him with any of that, but instead I'm a depressed lump that probably doesn't make his life easier.  I really don't know why he still likes me, but I'm glad that he does.  I hope that I can be better soon, and that school will pay off, and life will be easier and better - at least in some ways.  But for now I'm gonna go and empty and reload the dishwasher so he doesn't have to see a mess when he wakes up.  That's the best I can offer today.

I think I invited...

I think I invited most of my nail art peeps who would be interested in these custom stamping plates to the group for purchasing, but if not, there's going to be a second round of orders so comment below if you want in. I received my plates today and they look great.

Oof. Took Cymbalta before bed.

Today was pretty good.

Today was pretty good.  I did my daily chores before 4 pm (and even did some laundry), got some studying / homework done, and showered.  I'm going to brush my teeth shortly and call it a night.

I consider this a win because I did the things I had to do - plus some extra - and I only napped once.  🙂

My first day on Cymbalta wasn't bad.

My first day on Cymbalta wasn't bad.  I did get a little nauseated this morning after I took it.  I napped several times today, so maybe I should be taking it at night.  We'll see.  I've felt a constant... I don't quite want to say "buzzing," but something in my muscles.  Almost like right before I get caffeine jitters, except the jitters never come.  It's far less bothersome and intrusive than jitters, whatever it is.  Maybe this is just what having some energy feels like for the first time in a while.  My head has felt only very slightly swimmy.  My appetite was pretty low.  My skin ALMOST feels tingly, but not quite.

Overall, today wasn't bad.  I should have studied more and slept less, but I'm being patient with myself.  I know that my brain and my body are going through some things and that can't be helped.  I just have to roll with it and do the best I can.  That has served me well so far, so I guess that's the plan.

I had a telehealth appointment today about my depression.