Oof.

Oof. I am soaking up all of the cuddles I can get.

My heart. It's breaking. 💔

I've signed my contract...

I've signed my contract and even have a company email.  I've got an apartment in another state that I've never even visited.  I've got a roommate!  My life feels so weird right now.

Look... the "welcome to the program" email made me tear up this morning.  They're going to be greeting us at the door of the building to welcome us in and direct us on the 15th.  I think I'll probably cry.  I'm not planning to - I just think it will happen, which is (I guess) one way to make a first impression.  😂😂😂

I started working in 2001; it was retail.  Next, a warehouse. Then I took a program at a business college to get office work.  Then I spent the next 12-ish years working mainly in 2 offices, but also doing a shit-ton of side jobs to make ends meet.  Then finally Gadsden State and JSU.

I am so grateful to all of the small businesses that helped me throughout my journey, but I always yearned for something different.  Even as far back as 2004 I wished I could work from home.  I always had this anxiety that while I was away at work my house would be robbed (not unlikely in my neighborhood at the time) or it would burn down or that something would happen to Shadow or that my pets would have an emergency and I wouldn't know until it was too late...  There was just so much to worry about and I worried about it ALL.

Now I'm in a much safer neighborhood with my grown kids and my wonderful Shaun (who I joke is my trophy husbang, but honestly - he's a looker 😘) and I'm perfectly happy for Shaun to do whatever floats his boat and for the kids to explore their job / school / career options as young adults while having the safety net of our home.

If "Today Me" could speak to any version of "Past Me" I really don't think "Past Me" would believe that "Today Me" is where we actually are.  Everything that I have going on in my life right now felt like a fantasy and out of reach for so many years.

So yeah, when I walk up those steps on the morning of the 15th I'm probably going to have myself a cry.  Hopefully it's just a little one.

Nerves are setting in.

Nerves are setting in. I had weird dreams last night about getting in trouble at my job training.

I've got my lists made and am slowly but surely getting ready to go. I feel all vibrate-y inside, though.

I'm shortening / sharpening my claws. Gonna make them nice, I hope.

And before anyone asks - yes, I'm taking a box of nail polish. And my teas. And maybe a little plant - I haven't decided yet. I'd pack up a cat or two if I thought it was humane to make them ride all that way for a temporary stay. 😂

Anyway, I'm off to do stuff. ❤️

We just got some food

We just got some food and I got a rice pudding for dessert. I started wondering where it originated, so I asked Google "Where did rice pudding come from?

The reply? "Rice pudding's origin is the world" while showing me a picture of Earth.

I feel like I just got sassed. 😂😂😂

OMG. Look at these boys.

OMG. Look at these boys. They're going to be full-on spooning one of these days. 😂😂😂

Update:  The gap is closing!

I'm leaving for job training...

I'm leaving for job training on the morning of Wednesday the 10th.

I thought I'd be staying alone in Cincinnati, but it turns out that there's a super-cool homie who is also relocating and wanted a roommate.  We seem to have a lot in common and to be honest the thought of being totally alone in a strange place wasn't very comforting, so I'm excited to meet her!  We got our apartment locked down today; we'll do all the rest of the fun paperwork on Monday.

I guess I'm going to spend my weekend doing laundry and making lists and packing.  I've been waiting for this for so long, but now it all feels so sudden.  Time is weird.

I'm having feelings about being away from my family (this includes the animals, of course).  It's all complicated... you know - excitement and nervousness and lots of other things all mixed together.  I need to chill down.  I need to make a bunch of lists and just breathe...

But for now, I think I'm going to bed.  Stupid early, yes.  But my brain has been scrambling around for the last few days and now it's tired.

I hope you all are doing well.  ❤

I had this yummy Peach and Green Chile Danish...

I had this yummy Peach and Green Chile Danish for breakfast this morning. I'm so excited about my job training in Cincinnati, but damn if I'm not going to miss our weird and wondrous New Mexican foods.

If Shaun doesn't mail me Biscochitos once a month while I'm gone, know that that is grounds for divorce. 🤷🏻😂