Oh. 😂😂😂

Oh. 😂😂😂

Adrian is sometimes good for more than mischief.

Adrian is sometimes good for more than mischief. For example:  She's an excellent leg warmer on this chilly day. 😂

The face of mischief in the morning; Adrian.

The face of mischief in the morning; Adrian.

She stomps all over me with her cold feet. Won't even let me get my scroll on without bonking my phone and wiping boogies on it. Gets excited at any movement because it surely means "STINKY TREAT TIME!!!" Terribly inconvenient cat, but 10/10. I love her feisty little self. 😂😂😂

I'm gonna talk about periods / PMS / perimenopause now.

I'm gonna talk about periods / PMS / perimenopause now.  I found something that helps me and I'm not going to keep it to myself.  Avert your eyes if you don't want to read further.

Over the last few years my PMS has gotten increasingly worse.  It used to only consist of feeling emotional and having bad lower back aches - not fun, but not debilitating.  But I'd say over the last 5 years it had gotten to the point where I couldn't tell if it was my period coming or if I was legitimately sick.  My whole body would hurt, I would feel feverish (sweating / hot with simultaneous chills), I would be super fatigued, and grumpy, and get menstrual migraines.  If that would be the case for like, a day - then ok, but it started to stretch out for up to a week before my period actually started.  Needless to say, I was feeling really NOT COOL about that AT ALL.

Then my periods started coming later and later and I started sweating a ton at night and barely sleeping... and I thought that this must be me going through "The Change," but every doctor has told me that my hormones are normal and that I'm too young for that.

After doing some research I found out that there is not a lot of information or help for women dealing with hormone issues.  Gynecologists (even if they think you are going through the change) often don't recommend or even offer hormone replacement therapy; they just let you suffer through this mess.  I don't know about all y'all, but I can't afford to be out of commission for almost 2 weeks / month.  I got shit to do!  My life is far from over, and I do NOT surrender.

I found out through my research that a low-dose birth control pill will often help reduce / eliminate the symptoms of perimenopause.  I feel that it would be beneficial for doctors to raise that option to more people my age (I'm 40 right now); after all, this is the stage of life where we are 2nd most prone to unplanned pregnancies (right after teen pregnancy).  I feel like for anyone who is not trying to conceive, isn't a clot risk, and who is suffering through these symptoms that it is a no-brainer.  Help us feel better!

ANYWAY.  I had to ask for it, but I was prescribed a low-dose BC pill and it made me sick as shit.  I'd never taken a birth control pill before in my life, but circumstances seemed to dictate that I should.  I found out after several days that it was not going to work for me.  So my research continued.

I found myself on r/menopause (the menopause sub on reddit) and there is a wealth of information there.  It was on reddit that I learned about estrogen dominance and its symptoms (many of which I had) and what I could do about it.  A supplement called "DIM" was recommended to help balance hormones.  Generally, I am not a fan of supplements because they aren't regulated like prescription medications, but I ordered a 300mg bottle of DIM and started taking it at night.  It made me feel sick as shit.  I stayed on it for about a week before I gave it up.

And then one day a week or two later I was like "Why do I have a bad attitude?"  And then later that day I started my period.  Almost exactly 28 days after my last one.  No crazy, long, brutal PMS and no delay - just me noticing that I had a bad attitude and there it was.

Obviously, I can't take a supplement that makes me feel that bad to avoid feeling bad.  That doesn't make any damn sense.  However, I ordered 150mg of it and tried that.  It was still strong enough to make me sick.  So I ordered a 75mg dose, which is what I've been on for about 2 weeks now.  No sickness.  My period was due yesterday.  I've been grumpy for a few days.  Today I am cramping pretty bad and spotting.  I'm pretty sure it's arriving, and I will gladly take my current symptoms over what I used to go through.

So I'm going to stick with 75mg of DIM for now.  I could probably try a 100mg dose of it, too, but after buying 3 bottles I'm at least going to finish one.  😂

All of this is to say:  If you are feeling bad and not getting help from your doctors you're probably going to have to do the work, and you're definitely going to need to advocate for yourself.  And I know that is hard as hell to do - especially when you're feeling bad.  But it doesn't get better if you don't.

Obviously:  I am not a doctor and please don't consider my success with a supplement to be medical advice.  It could be a terrible idea for all I know.  But I do feel better and more functional and I need that right now.  If you are suffering from possible hormone-related issues, I urge you to do your own research and try your best to make some educated decisions / arguments for yourself.  I have a feeling that hormonal / perimenopause issues are just another thing that is swept under the rug because it doesn't affect the "important" half of the population... so, you know, fuck that.  Feel better.

I love working from home.

I love working from home. I have a lot of reasons why, and not having to go out in this is one of them. ❤️

I mentioned pretty recently...

I mentioned pretty recently that our oldest cat, Sindar, may have gone blind.  We took her to the vet and found out that she has high blood pressure which has caused retinal detachment and obviously, blindness.  (It's not uncommon, so those of you with older cats - you might want to have that checked.  Her medication was $9.  I'd pay that every month to keep her eyesight.)  Her blindness may or may not be permanent; I'm hoping we caught it in time that she can regain at least partial vision.  She also has a giant blood clot in one of her eyes.  It's easily visible by just shining a light in there.  😬

She started her blood pressure meds today and I hope they are helping her feel better, at least.  She has slept a lot this afternoon, so I think she needed some good rest.  She'll go back for a check-up soon and we'll get the results of her bloodwork, too, which hopefully won't show any other major problems.

I have dealt with a lot of animal situations over the years; one of my foster dogs was deaf (or at least very hard of hearing).  This is my first time helping a blind animal, and it's not without its challenges.

We chose to leave Sindar in our bedroom / my office where she has lived for the last year +.  The two other cats in there with her know that she is the boss and to leave her alone.  Though the room is large, she knows her way around and we feel that moving her to a new space (even if it's smaller) would just be confusing to her at this point.  Besides that, I can keep an eye on her when I work, and I keep an ear out for her when I sleep.

I've been sleeping light as hell since we discovered that she couldn't see.  She ended up falling off the bed once; I plugged in a nightlight for her and I don't know if she still had a little bit of vision left at some point and that helped or if she learned to feel for the edge of the bed with her paws to avoid a fall again; but she's only had one clumsy landing and not another "fall" that I can tell.

She still makes her way to the food, water, and litter box.  She's doing fine with all of that.  She still gets on and off the bed.  Sometimes she meows out like she's calling for help, so we try to help her when she does.  We pet her to soothe her and then try to make a sound (like rustling her food) to orient her.  Sometimes she wants to nap in my lap and I let her.  Sometimes she lays awkwardly in the middle of the floor or in front of a door and we have to watch out so we don't step on her.  It's also weird to feel a cat stepping on my feet, but that has become a norm.

Sometimes, situations are straight-up funny, and like... yes - it's sad, but also you just have to laugh.  There are times when she walks with so much confidence - right into a wall or onto one of her roommates.  Adrian (our runt who is in the room with her) is terrified of her, and yesterday she walked directly up to Adrian's face and scared her so bad she scrambled to the TOP of the cat tower to escape. 😂😂😂 I think her two roommates know that something is going on, but not what.

Then there are times that are significantly less funny, like hearing her fall off the bed that time.  Or like the other night when I woke up to her growling and hissing because something "had" her.  She'd gotten a claw stuck in one of the pyramid-shaped cat bed tents that we have and couldn't get away.  I don't know if she bumped it and then slapped it and got hooked or what, but she was PISSED.  Sindar is pretty strong and definitely a cat that demands respect, so it wasn't the most fun for me to suck it up and untangle her, but it had to be done.

The vet couldn't say if, when, or how much her eyes might heal, so this is how we're rocking along right now.  Obviously, her quality of life is our #1 priority.  We've loved and lost so many in the past that we've learned (the hard way, unfortunately) that letting them go a minute too soon is better than any amount of actual suffering.  We just don't roll like that.  So hopefully, her bloodwork comes back good and we can get our old lady on the mend.  I'll keep you all posted.  ❤

Today is a pretty special day

Today is a pretty special day; I've officially been Shadow's mom for 23 years.  Even though it happened right in front of my eyeballs it's hard to believe that he's a whole young adult.  It happened so fast!

I would write a big, long, mushy post, but he's not on Facebook to see it.  So instead I'm going to celebrate his birthday by spending the afternoon with him doing whatever he wants.  I'm 100% sure that includes getting food.  😁  That child has always loved his food!

I know I don't post about him much these days; he hangs out with me less than he used to, but that's a natural progression, I think.  He's got his own things going on now, and I'm happy for him.  He's so kind and smart and good-looking.  And talented.  And he smells great, like, all the time.  His smile is so big and bright and it makes me happy to see it.  I'm so proud of the person he is.

So anyway, before this turns into a big, long, mushy post, I'd better end it.  😂  Just know that I love my kiddo and I think he's pretty great and I hope that he has a wonderful 23rd birthday.  ❤❤❤