It took him a few days, but...

It took him a few days, but Shaun slept in the bedroom again for the first time last night since we lost Sindar (that is where she lived since she wasn't a huge fan of the other cats).  I think the room needed to be more different than just Sindar's absence, though, because he brought Cub with him.  It went ok.  Cub behaved because he's a good boy.  He woke up barking just once because of some animal noise outside; otherwise, I think I pretty much slept through the night.

I feel like I have been catching up on sleep this week.  It wasn't easy to get enough rest with Sin waking us up several times in the night.  Needless to say I slept super late today.  Unfortunately, I woke up to having missed 2 frantic texts and a call from my dad  by several hours - which is unusual because he is the definition of "stays to himself."  It appears that someone shot their little chihuahua and that he's not going to make it.  I talked to Dad and Lisa and it sounds like it wouldn't have been able to be saved due to the location of the wound.

I feel like shit for not getting the call so I've changed my "Do Not Disturb" settings.  I had it where my phone went on "Do Not Disturb" if I placed it face down - which I did last night, but also if someone called more than once it was supposed to let the call through.  Dad, however, didn't call me more than once.  He doesn't like to bother anyone.  So I've changed my settings to accommodate that.  I definitely want to be reachable if I'm needed.

So that's how the day has started.  I guess I'm off to see what else it throws at me.

Later, friends.

Kira made these cute banana pudding cups.

Kira made these cute banana pudding cups. They are tasty! Me and Shaun think she should start selling her snacks. 😊

We said goodbye to our sweet old Sindar today.

We said goodbye to our sweet old Sindar today.

I know I posted the other day that this day was coming, but it was very strange not having the urgency that we normally do to make the decision and have it done.  Shaun spent the last 2 days upstairs with Sin - napping with her, petting her, loving her, giving her all of the great food and treats and milk that she loves.  I was up and down, but mostly wanted to give them their privacy.  I think Shaun was pretty exhausted because last night once he was asleep he was out.  So I was up with Sin off and on all night when she cried.

We're both sad, of course, and we will miss her a ton, but we were both happy that she was growling after having her little arm shaved.  She was pissed and made sure to let us know.  She never was one to put up with being disrespected or even petted wrong.  😆  We like that she was still herself up to the end, even fighting to stay awake against the anesthesia.  And when the time finally came it actually took 2 of the pink shots to make her let go.

I don't take that as a sign that she wasn't ready; rather, I take that as a sign that we did not let her suffer - at least not beyond the point that life was no longer worth living.  I have learned from years in rescue and experience with my own animals that there are far worse fates than death, and Shaun and I will always protect our babies from those things as best we can.

Over the last few months it felt like Sindar was on a slow, steady decline.  She seemed frustrated and disoriented often and with being blind she was having more and more trouble finding her way around.  She had been throwing up a bit lately, and just last night Shaun said it looked like she was getting diarrhea.  Her paws were swelling and her joints were super stiff.  Sometimes her legs looked like they weren't cooperating with her, and it took her minutes to lay down and find an acceptable way to rest, even being medicated with pain meds.  With her being 18-ish years old we feel that we got lucky she was so healthy for most of her life and I'm grateful that we had time to spoil her before letting her go.

It still fucking sucks, though.  It never seems to get easier to let them go and we've been through this A LOT over the years.  I know this one will hit Shaun hard.  He had Sindar back before we got together so it's like he just lost his oldest friend.  He loved how loud she purred and how feisty she was.  We both adored the way she'd shake her front paw when she first started to drink anything.  We loved her big, pretty eyes, and how she would get a "furrowed brow" look because of the way the hair on the top of her head laid sometimes.

I remember the first time I went to Shaun's apartment and I got to meet her.  He seemed excited to have met someone who wanted to know his cat.  We spent some time playing in the floor with her with her toys.  She played rough and I mostly left it to him, but I could see their relationship and I loved it.  I knew then that she wasn't "just a pet" to him and it was amazing because that's how I operate, too.  But the end is always on the way and today it caught up to us yet again.  💔

My lap at the moment.

My lap at the moment. I feel like I was missed today. 😂 ❤️❤️❤️

Poor Shaun.

Poor Shaun.

Sindar cries - he comes upstairs to quiet and comfort her so I can work.

Cubba cries - he go downstairs to check on the pup.

Rinse and repeat all day and sometimes at night, too. We've been more heavy-handed on the drugs for Sindar at night so she'll sleep and we can, too.

Sindar has an appointment Tuesday and we're pretty sure it's going to be her last one. 😭 She's been on an arthritis pain injection for over 2 months now. It might be helping, but her little feet are starting to deform and her legs go janky when she walks and her little joints click. I think because of those things her "steering" is off and she's not doing as well navigating the room as she used to with no vision. While she is otherwise healthy it just doesn't seem like a good way to live. We're in agreement that we'd rather let her go while she's ok-ish than to put her through anything worse.

It's been a bit of a hard time around here and I feel kind of tired on the inside. While things have calmed some as far as not having many of our cats sick at once, it's still never easy to have these end-of-life conversations and thoughts. 😢

First 50 done!

First 50 done! Now <100 more days of this and I'll be done. 😂😂😂

It was actually really fun once I got started and got over my nerves. I miss my polishes and I love them. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍 They are so beautiful and bring me joy.

So all of these were in one of my "red" drawers. As you can (most likely) see, they are not all what is usually considered to be red. So when I do the big sort with my friend, we are sorting them by the color that the swatch ring says. That makes a lot more sense to me for ease of finding what I'm looking for.

My helper in all things: Scar.

My helper in all things:  Scar. Even when he's not thrilled with what I'm doing. 😂😂😂