I'm here to ramble again because it helps to quiet my mind. Feel free to skip this. I'm gonna break it into sections for readability, I guess.
ANXIETY
My lips and cheeks are chewed to death. I hate it when I get this way. I am still on my antidepressant and antianxiety meds, but so many people are having a hard time right now and it is really upsetting. Politically, things are going worse than I imagined. I was hoping that the tangerine felon would just play golf through his term again, but food prices are rising (if it even makes it to the shelf), ICE is being spotted everywhere, and I'm mad as hell at everyone who voted for this. I hope it comes back and hurts you more than it hurts anyone who didn't vote for this. Take it personally because that's how I mean it. Not to mention his "jokes" about serving another term. He's obviously trying to set up to be a dictator and some of y'all are just here for it. My only solace is that he's a crusty old man and might die. If not, perhaps another Luigi will step up. I said what I said. I like it when the villain dies and that doesn't just apply to fiction. I'm not religious or superstitious so I have zero qualms about saying it. I will not feel bad if it happens. I will dance. I guess I needed to get that off my chest.
If it's not clear: I believe in helping people. I believe that no on is illegal on stolen land. I believe that billionaires are a problem to be solved and that they are pitting the lower classes against each other to keep us distracted. I believe that anyone who hoards wealth while people suffer in poverty has a serious character flaw. I believe we should all pay our fair share of taxes, INCLUDING high-earners. I say this having come up from poverty - literally supporting myself and my child on $17,000/year + depending on government assistance to making bank now. I pay my taxes - my taxes are paid. HELP OUR COMMUNITIES WITH IT!
(I know that New Mexico does take care of its citizens and that is one of the main reasons I moved here. The red states need to get their shit together.)
More on my feelers: We have been doing a good job about not eating out/DoorDashing food during the week. We are doing that to save money and to try to encourage us to eat healthier. But today... today I needed sloppy food and carbs. I was craving it. We ordered pizza and brownies and I have no regrets. Sometimes we just have to comfort ourselves. We'll get back to the routine starting tomorrow.
HORMONES
Testosterone is supposed to help with anxiety, but I am unsure if it is having any effect or not because, well, see above. I did sleep basically through the night last night, though. I woke up once to pee. So I am happy about catching up on my rest. Now if only I could calm down. At least I haven't had another migraine. Yay for silver linings.
I am also on a hypothyroid medication. I am noticing that I don't feel cold as often. I haven't hopped on a scale to measure it, but I feel like I might be losing some weight. I'm not doing anything extra besides walking a little every day, doing my strength routine 3x week, and trying to eat at home during the week. Doing that and more before starting this medication never once helped me shed the extra pounds I was carrying. So if having the diet and exercise routine of a normal human being is working for me now, that's pretty great. No complaints here.
RELIEF
I guess shouting into the void does something. I feel exhausted now.
