I feel like I'm in an anxiety-induced depressive spiral...

I feel like I'm in an anxiety-induced depressive spiral. I'm having trouble doing anything productive.

Look at the flowers, though. It's the pink one's first time!

Greenhouse photo dump from the last few days:

Greenhouse photo dump from the last few days:

I don't know why these randomly decide to crest, but they're definitely never dull. 😂

So many buds!

A few buds and a bloom.

I was surprised to see these beauties today. 😊

I've had this cactus for YEARS and she's finally gonna bloom!

My little conjoined twin cactus has some buds.

I think this one is enjoying the shadier spot.

Anacampseros flower!

Orange blooms in front of a Prickly Pear.

I can't believe this one bloomed again ALREADY.

Caitlin, she's putting on new growth!

This little weirdo has bloomed again. ❤️

I didn't really feel like talking about it on Friday...

I didn't really feel like talking about it on Friday and I don't even now, but I'm not a secretive person, so:

I was laid off at the end of last week.

It's a bummer because I had no idea it was coming. I was billing, I was meeting my goals, and I thought I was doing well. One consolation is that it took my coworkers by surprise, too. At least I wasn't doing a bad job with everyone but me knowing that I'm next.

I'm pretty sure it's just an economy thing, but it still hurt.

Anyway, I'll be ok. I have my Math and CS degrees, I have marketable skills, and I usually figure things out. So I'm not in panic mode, but putting myself out there again is giving me a bit of anxiety. I think that's normal.

If y'all know anyone looking for a ServiceNow dev, send me their way. ❤️

I got this crazy Aloe...

I got this crazy Aloe from Bitis Botanical yesterday, and it's gorgeous! I potted it up today and did some other stuff in the greenhouse.

I repotted around 50 plants today. Most of them were my small Echeveria. I had noticed at my last watering that some weren't fattening back up, so I uprooted them early last week and saw that my soil mix was off and their roots were in rough shape. I cut their roots and left them out to callous until today. Then I hit them with some rooting hormone and potted them in a much grittier mix today. They are in a shadier spot for now. I'll give them some days before I water them. I think they'll be ok.

I also had 3 trailing succulents that weren't doing as well as I'd hoped. I think the pots they were in were wayyy too large. So they were put into a grittier mix in smaller pots. I think they'll be ok, too.

Years ago the plants would have probably had to get into worse shape before I knew to take action, but these days I am better at spotting when something isn't right. I don't get out to the greenhouse every day, but when I do I'm testing the plants for thirst, watering the ones who need it, and checking within the next day or so if they've drank or not. If they haven't, I know something is wrong.

I'm posting this picture just because it's pretty.

This last photo is one of the plants that got mealy bugs last year. I sprayed it down with alcohol to kill the bugs, which worked; however, it messed up the farina (the powdery coating on succulents), and that's why the lower leaves are orange. The blue/pink/lavender growth at the top/middle is what it's supposed to look like. I'm happy to see that it's doing well after that ordeal.

Errands today.

Errands today. The boys got pup cups. The lady at the pharmacy said that Bear looks mean. Knowing who he is as a person, I don't think I could ever see it. 😊 He's a sweet boy, even if he's wild and looks weird. ❤️

It's no secret...

It's no secret that I have indulged in retail therapy over the years.  Sometime near the end of last year I really cut out/cut down on buying stuff (most of which was nail polish/stamping plates and succulents) and by and large, I have stuck to it this year, too.  Even if I'm not doing my walking or my strength training, I have stuck to one thing.  Change isn't easy, so I'm proud of myself for that.

I've been trying to spend under a certain amount of money each month.  There are still things I want, but I am being very mindful and showing restraint.

I have also been showing restraint with my eating habits thanks to Semaglutide.  I mean, right now I could totally order and eat Crumbl Cookie.  I don't feel that it would make me sick and it does sound really good.  I am a little hungry and I might make a serving of pizza rolls in a minute... btw, did y'all know that a serving of pizza rolls is 6 pizza rolls?  Well now you do.

Anyway.  It's really nice that it doesn't feel impossible to have some control over what I eat.  It really did before.  If I had a craving, I was super unhappy until it was fulfilled, but then I was super unhappy for having done something that I knew wasn't healthy for me.  There was no winning.

So maybe I'm not gonna be buff and strong this year.  I don't know.  But I will save some money and slowly lose weight and that is progress.  I have a lot of work to do on myself, and anything is better than nothing.  I'm not saying that I wouldn't like to walk and strength train, but it's very difficult to stick to routines and I think that's because of how my brain works.  We shall see.

First therapy session tomorrow!

This reminds me of the time...

This reminds me of the time I was in Wal-Mart with Shaun and I was trying on shoes and I heard my ex who worked there come out from the back telling another coworker that I was crazy. He mentioned a length of time and that's how I knew it was me he was talking about. It was super hard not to pop out of the aisle I was on like "Who, me?" 😂😂😂