Nervous...

So today Emma had to go to the vet for her tooth. I had to leave her there and that really sucked. I hate leaving my animals places... it's not like with a kid where you can say, "I'll see you this afternoon." She doesn't know that I'm coming back. She's never been to that strange place before. For all I know she thinks I've ditched her and I hate the thought of her thinking that. I hugged her and kissed her and told her "I love you"... I also told her I'd be back just in case she understands.

She couldn't eat anything late last night / early this morning so I know she was hungry and thirsty when we left. I felt bad about that. Then she was nervous in the car... she seems to like to get out once in a while, but trips in the car always make her nervous. She shakes... she used to shake and drool (drool a LOT), but she doesn't do that anymore. I still feel bad for her, though.

Anyway, hopefully this will all be for the best. She's getting her teeth cleaned and one looked at. This one tooth is sort of brown... the rest of her teeth are white, though. It looks like it might be hurting her and she's been chewing EVERYTHING she can get her mouth on for the past few weeks. The gum around it sometimes looks inflamed, but not always. I'd rather have it looked at than for her to be in pain so... she's at the vet. And I'm nervous for her.

Today has the potential to be super-good... I have an interview at a place I really, REALLY want to work. And so yeah... I'm nervous about that, too. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't feel like I have so much riding on getting that job... but I do. Interviewing is a nervous process for me... it doesn't help that my boss told me a while back that I'm a terrible interview. Now it's always in the back of my mind whether it's true or not.

I'm not so great at dressing up so I always scrutinize what I wear... but, I feel pretty good about what I'm wearing today. I don't think it's over the top dressy, nor do I appear slouchy... well, once I take off my jacket, anyway. Then I scrutinize my face... too much make-up?? Not enough? Is my psoriasis apparent? I should've painted my nails. Fuck. My glasses are broken and I just re-taped them together... but it doesn't look as nice as it did last time. Damn it. Damn it! What if my lens falls out?!?!

Then, oh then... what if I forget to turn my phone off and there's some emergency with Emma? Or Shadow? Or Nick?? Worse yet, what if I do turn my phone off and I don't know about it??? What if my car won't crank? It keeps turning off a lot lately. What does that even mean?!

So yeah... this is me today. I'm trying to look on the bright side - as in "Hey! I have an interview! 😀" The place where I'm interviewing is somewhere that I go all the time. I'm usually very comfortable there - hopefully that feeling will return once I walk in. Or I might just be wayyy apparently giddy. Hey, who doesn't want an enthusiastic employee?? 😂 I would just say the name of the place, but apparently I'm suddenly superstitious and do not want to jinx it. Do not guess - I will not answer you (until it's over with, at least). So anyway, I feel like I have a good chance of this working out in all honesty. I may or may not know the person who's interviewing me... if I did it would probably make things easier. Or not. I might have performance anxiety. 😬

Well... I'm shutting up now. I think I just needed to let some of my frantic thoughts out... better to let it out than keep it stuffed in, yes? I guess I do feel a bit better. Wish me luck! 😊

[Update: Emma's ok - and her teeth are all sparkly. She just has an antibiotic for her tooth. It was gingivitis, they say.]

[Update: I think it went well! No emergencies, no freaking out... and they want me to take a drug test tomorrow. 😁]