Sunday, April 30, 2017

I am having "calm down" problems.

I am having "calm down" problems.  Finals are Monday and Tuesday and logically I know that I'll be ok (we've done the calculations)... but I feel more stressed than I ever have (to the point of being seriously sick) over finals.   I don't know why.   I have worked SO HARD this semester to make sure I'd be ok and I am.  It just doesn't feel like it yet.

Right now I have a 90 in Calculus.  I think I COULD pull off keeping that A, but I don't think the stress is worth it.  I've made a few C's on exams in that class so I honestly don't deserve an A (in my opinion).  I don't feel like I gave it my all and I didn't.  I couldn't.  Not while taking Physics in the same semester.
I'm having so many feelings right now.  Stress, obviously.  Relief that it's almost over.  A little bit of disappointment because I would have liked to have done better (and I know that if I wasn't in such a hurry to get these classes done, I could have).  Accomplishment because I've just about made it through these classes, I got the scholarship, and graduation is on Thursday.

All in all it's a lot going on with me and I guess I can't blame my body for not being able to feel great in the midst of all of it while still finishing antibiotics and fighting off whatever infection I have.  I'm just hoping the next few days aren't horrible, I guess.

Anyway.  I need a nap.  Whether I feel ok or not this week will mark some accomplishments for me so I'm gonna call it a good one.   I hope you all are poised to have a great week, too!  ❤

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