Heading to bed FAR too late.

Heading to bed FAR too late.  I've been studying for a Linear Algebra quiz that I'm pretty sure I will also fail.  I feel like I am stressed beyond function.  It might be time to get back on antidepressants because I feel like I'm just not super cool right lately.  I'm pretty sure I should be settled in at JSU by now and that I should feel more excited and motivated than I do.  Right now I honestly want to quit and I know that deep down, I don't, but my motivation and mojo are gone.  I'm empty.

When I'm ok I do fine with pressure and deadlines, but I look at everything I'm supposed to do to stay on top of this schoolwork and all I want to do is sleep.  The sole purpose of me freelancing and not working all the time was so I could focus on school, and for whatever reason or reasons, I am currently not doing it and / or not able to do it.

Admittedly, there were a few big transitions happening over the last few weeks, but things are pretty good right now.  I just don't feel like I have recovered and I'm not sure that I will without help.  I feel more and more that sinking feeling that crept up on me after the shit storm that was last year.  I don't want that again.  It was a dark place.

I'm heading to the C.A.R.E.S. clinic tomorrow, anyway.  I'm pretty sure I'm battling an infection of some sort, so I will ask the doctor about refilling my Celexa.  Might as well.  The last thing I need to do is let this ride and wreck my grades.  That won't help anything at all.

I hope you all are doing well.  If you're not, please take the time to take care of yourselves.  You gotta do what you gotta do.  ❤