Despite how hard it's been to function recently...

Despite how hard it's been to function recently I'm pretty excited about starting classes tomorrow.  I can't believe I've made it to my final semester.  I have worked so hard for this; not comprehending up until about a year ago that I was actually going to finish school and change my life.  At some point, the "if I graduate" in my mind finally became "when I graduate," but I want you to know that the struggle to get there was real.  For the longest time I could not believe that this was for me.  I honestly don't know that I ever would have started college if my health hadn't kicked me in the ass.

At 32 when I was barely able to walk due to psoriatic arthritis, couldn't afford insurance, covered in psoriasis, and mental health hanging by a thread, a doctor told me to eliminate stress (it triggers psoriatic disease and depression).  I'm a pretty chill type of person, but raising a child by myself for years while living paycheck to paycheck had taken its toll on me.  I'd been working 2-3 jobs to try to make ends meet, the whole while feeling like a failure as a parent due to my son caring for himself so much.  I was not ok.  

Fortunately, most of my problems were financial.  My doctor told me that I seemed intelligent and to go to college.  He said that if I wanted it bad enough I could change my life.  That was November 2014.  January 2015 I started classes and haven't taken a single semester off.

I have honestly enjoyed my time as a student.  It has been extremely stressful at times, but honestly aside from the anxiety that I won't make it, it hasn't been worse than being poor and unhealthy - just different.  At least this kind of stress is due to me wanting something in life and trying to accomplish it.  I am hoping that after I graduate and find a job I can settle into a new normal - a less stressful normal, with health insurance for all of us and a career to look forward to.  I am grateful for my time in school and all that I have learned, but I am excited to see what the future holds.  I really want to see if all of this work paid off.

On that note I'm off to water a few thirsty succulents, shower, and get my notebook prepped for tomorrow.  Differential Equations and Beginner Spanish I:  I'm ready!  😃