So VERY Grateful.

The last few days have been rough. One of my very dear friends lost a relative (suddenly in a car accident) and it's been so far the most emotionally trying experience I've had in a long time. She was only 16 with her 17th birthday coming on Monday. There's only one word I can think of to describe her - friendly. She was always so sweet to me and my kiddo and we're gonna miss her. I realize that I did not grow up with this girl or even know her that well, but the effects of her death have struck me pretty hard.

I've seen what the whole family is going through and it kills me to imagine what they are feeling. I've had nightmares before about losing my child and it panics me for days. I honestly don't know if I could survive something like that. It's like I just wish there was something I could say to make things all better, but I know that there is no such thing. I hate that so much. I plan to be around, give a lot of hugs, and do whatever else I can to help them cope...

This just really sucks... I'm very sad, too. I've cried a lot in the past few days. I'm crying right now, even. I don't even know what else to say. She was so pretty, all peaceful looking... and a ton of people showed up to see her. She seemed to really have a lot of friends. It's just so sad. ... I'm really glad that part is over with.

Today it felt absolutely wonderful to have my Shadow back (he's spent a lot of time at his grandmother's house while all of this has gone on) and to be back home with the people I love. It was such a relief to have them near me. I cannot express how grateful I've felt to still have them. When a tragedy like this happens it makes you think about how lucky you are and about how much you shouldn't take the people you love for granted. You never know what the future holds... and that's a scary thought at the moment.

But I've got my kiddo here - safe and sound - and my SOS was good when I left him at home so I don't really feel that I could ask for more than that. I think I can finally relax enough to rest now so I guess I'm going to bed.

uber-cuteness

Ahh, the cuteness. I bought two little gerbils today... that made me so happy - I've been missing having a fuzzy to love on. They are so freakin' adorable! I (of course) bought the one who bit the shit out of me yesterday... and I let my Shadow pick out the other one. He picked the smallest one they had and named her (or him - maybe his nuts just aren't visible yet), Toad. The name he considered before that was Laverta. ??? He's so strange sometimes. 😂

Anyway, his is a blonde color, very pretty, with dark eyes and ears. Mine is a sort of brown with a caramel-colored triangle on his lower back and on his head some... the only one in there who had such distinct markings. He was pretty easy to recognize and he came up to me when I put my hand in the cage before I bought him so maybe he recognized me, too. I suppose that's unlikely, but I'm gonna believe he knew who I was if only by taste alone. 😂 And speaking of distinctness... mine is definitely a boy. I've been trying to think of a name for him all night and I think I just came up with something. I shall call him Testiclees. YES! That's perfect! Testiclees and Toad... that works. 😁

Anyway, they are pretty friendly... no one has been majorly bitten (yet) and I'm so happy I got them. I'm going to get an aquarium for them tomorrow after work... right now they're in a temporary plastic thing, but they don't seem to mind. It's not too cramped or anything so I think they'll be fine until tomorrow. So yeah, I decided against a cage; I did a lot of reading today and learned that an aquarium would actually be more suiting because it would keep the drafts off them (they're desert animals), and keep them from making a huge mess (they dig and burrow a LOT). And a 10 gallon tank at Wal-Mart was about $10.00 so that's more in my budget - and it would be plenty of room for them so that's what I'm gonna do.

Well, that's about all I have to talk about... it was the highlight of my day; nothing else fun or interesting happened - I just went to work. Yay for work!? Nah. Anyway, maybe I can put up some pics of them soon and that way you can see the uber-cuteness for yourself. Laterz!

Ow, I'm confused. O_O

Here is the play by play of a conversation I just had with my boss (apparently, I was in outer space):

Me: Hey, is Martin Luther King Day the same as Good Friday?

Jack: *confused expression* ... Do you even know what Good Friday is?

Me: Umm, the day after Fat Tuesday?

Jack: *mouth drops in look of complete bafflement* Uh, no. Fat Tuesday is the end of Mardi Gras, I think. 

Me: Yeah, and Good Friday is the day you have to be good after you eat a lot on Tuesday, right? ... ? ... Wait, I'm thinking of Thursday. ... I'm confused.

Jack: Good Friday is the Friday before Easter. It's supposed to be the day that Jesus rose up from the grave... or something like that.

Me: *finally realizing how dumb I was being* Oh, so I take it Martin Luther King wasn't there?

*******************************************

Ok, maybe no one will think that was funny, but everyone in the office here had a good laugh (at my expense, of course). I must've been having a goofy moment or something.

Aahhh :)

Wow... just wow. I feel pretty happy lately. No, wait - I feel really happy lately; the good kind of happy... the content kind of happy (that's the best kind). You know what I'm talking about... when your guts feel relaxed and your heart feels light and your head can't interfere with any of it... It's amazing.

Last night was good; I spent most of the afternoon with Nick and his family. It was so nice. I've kind of been missing them, too, so it was good to see them. And there were puppies there (9 puppies!) so that made my day to be able to play with them. And they were so adorable!!! I miss having a fuzzy! But that was good enough. The weather was awesome and it was so relaxing to sit outside and play with cutie widdle puppy dogs. 😄 Then we went in and had chili. Grandmother made it - and you know anyone named Grandmother can cook so that was some good chili. A few more people were there that I haven't seen in a while and it was nice to sit there and eat chili and just catch up for a while. I felt like I was at home.

And then there was this morning. WHOA. It was freakin' beautiful out. The sun was shining and there was a cool breeze... the kind that let's you know autumn is here (or about to be; I don't keep up with exactly when it starts). But it was the kind of breeze with the cold in it... very refreshing. Anyway, this morning was the kind of morning that made me want to call in to work and look for reasons to be outside enjoying the day. I hope this evening is just as nice... *sigh*

Well, I guess that's about all. Believe it or not I get this sappy a lot. I just don't always talk about it. Then everyone would know what a softie I really am. 😂

my toe = gross2k

Hey, so, um, well... this blog isn't about anything pretty. It's about my right big toe that I mangled up last week. I cut a big hunk off it with nail clippers - totally by accident. It hurt, but I just thought it would heal up so I left it alone. I think around Saturday it started getting infected. That's my guess as to when it started because I was out meandering about for a good portion of the day with my shoe on (rubbing it), foot sweating, blah blah blah. So it turned really red and started to swell. It just kept getting bigger and bigger until the wound actually turned inside out. I am not kidding. It looked like I was growing a tumor on it or something and it hurt so bad. It was actually pretty scary. (It made Nick cringe and that's hard to do). Anyway, I've been at work for two days in one shoe and a sock with my foot propped up under my desk because it hurt if I kept it down low... I'm guessing because more blood would flow down to it.

Today I finally broke down and went to the doctor. I'd had enough. Well, big surprise, guess what they wanted to do - lance it, of course. That didn't really bother me so much as what they had to do beforehand, which was give me two shots straight into my foot right near my big toe. *cringe* It really started hurting while he was giving me the injection and I said to the doctor that it felt like it was coming out the bottom of my foot and he replied, "It is." WTF?! On the left you can actually see where the needle either did, or almost did, come out the bottom of my foot. Ugh, and I felt it... no, I freakin' ENDURED it. TWICE. Not fun.

On the plus side I couldn't feel my toe anymore after that - which was a lovely change of pace from the last few days. Then I got to watch him cut it...very interesting, but disappointing. Yes, there was pus, but not much. After what I just went through, I wanted a freakin' RIVER of it to come out... that would have made it worth the shots. But no. Not much at all. I really hope it helps; otherwise I'll feel like I got shots through the foot for no good reason. And that would make me unhappy. Very, very unhappy.

For anyone who doesn't know me - I'm no stranger to needles. I have several piercings... I don't mind being stabbed on occasion.  But I'll admit that was rough. *cringes some more* On the upside I had a really cute nurse (the same one I get every time I go there... I wonder if that's a coincidence or if she has anything to do with it... hmmm) and I had Nick there to cringe with me. It was sweet of him to go... I know how much nail- and foot-related injuries get to him. I think the needles were the worst part for him, too. He said he almost couldn't watch. Anyway, yeah, if you don't believe me, he's my witness. He saw it all.

subject: hair

This blog is about haircuts. Me and my son both got ours cut this past week. My mom cut mine around Wednesday or so... I'm really digging it so far. 😀 Less hair, less trouble. Works for me. I really think this is the best haircut I've ever had. I always like whatever she does to my hair, but this one is super low-maintenance. And it reminds me of something you'd see on a short-haired pixie or something. I feel cute. 😊😄

About my kiddo's hair...well, that's something else entirely. It turned out great - don't get me wrong... it was just a tremendous change. This was the first time he's ever had it cut (he's 5). Needless to say it was very long. When it was down it came to right above his butt-crack. He had such beautiful hair. It was silky and black. It was so soft that no matter what I did to it, it just wouldn't stay put for long. Now it's less than an inch long. He had about a foot of hair cut off. Now he looks a lot older, but that's ok. I'll get used to it. 

 Anyway, his haircut was a bitter-sweet event. It was just more proof to me that my baby is growing up.  It happens so fast. But, I handled it pretty well... I didn't cry or anything, but my poor little mommy did - the whole time she was doing it. I really felt bad for her. From what I hear she's still not over it. I suppose it's just as hard for your grandbabies to grow up as it is your own kids... harder, even. I dunno. Ah, well, she'll be ok, I'm sure... On the bright side me and Nick were both pretty excited; and most importantly:  Shadow was happy. So that's good.

Long Blog About Vagina Things...

Since I have kept you waiting for so long I will go ahead and post the "I Can Piss Standing" and "Vagina Cups" blogs all in one. Before I get started I would like to say that I will put links, names of websites, etc., at the end of this blog. So, where to start? I suppose the story of how my fascination began is as good a place as any.

One day in the ever-exciting Wal-Mart while shopping for pads (because tampons are bad for your vagina) I came across something very... interesting. They were called Instead Softcups. The box claimed that they could be worn for up to 12 hours - no leaks, no smells, no threat of TSS, no discomfort if inserted correctly. They don't absorb - they catch so they aren't bad for ya. Fun fact:  They can also be worn during intercourse. They sit up under your cervix like a diaphragm (which is meant to be worn during sex in case you didn't know) so they don't get in the way. I thought that was pretty impressive. Needless to say - I bought a box. (It was about $6 for a box of 14).

I didn't use one for months - they were kind of scary looking and I was intimidated. But one sad day my ass was chapped from the pads I had grown to trust and accustomed to using and there was no way I was going to go to work and sit all day on another one so I put in a cup instead. I was totally amazed at how easy insertion was and blown away by how comfortable I felt. Once I realized that the box wasn't lying and there were no traces of what was going on in my panties - I was hooked. Now for a corny (but true) statement: That was the first time I had ever felt "free" during my period. Normally I feel really self-conscious - I've always been able to feel whatever product I chose to use (thus reminding me about the task at hand), but that was not the case with these. And it made me wonder what other goodies I had been missing out on. So I turned to the trusty internet to do some research. 

And that's when I found the most awesome website ever. It had tons of info on everything vagina-related. That's where I learned that there were a few different kinds of cups, (menstrual cups is what they're really called). The Insteads that you get from Wal-Mart are disposable. But there are also some non-disposable cups as well (available via internet only). They are made of silicone and they last 10 years. The cost is about $30 but if you divide that by 10 years that's $3 a year on period protection. Not a bad deal, really. But the down-side to those is that they can be messy, they make a weird pop!squeak noise when inserting (which can be trickier in my experience), and they sit lower in the vagina (like a tampon), so there's no sex while wearing them. The one I have is a Mooncup.

Now, about pissing while standing:  I have felt for a very long time that it sucked for women to have to "hover" and cover the seat with TP and do all of the other things we do in order to protect ourselves from a nasty toilet. In my head I'd always thought that there had to be a better way. And there was - I just didn't know it yet. Thanks to the site mentioned above I know now. There are things called urinary devices... you just put them against you in the right spot and piss. And Ta-da!!! - you've pissed standing. It really is that easy. You don't even have to take your pants down (if you are that confident, that is). It functions like the penis you never had... urine wise, of course. 😁

Mine is called a Travel Mate, (but there are other brands / models). It goes everywhere I go. I love that thing. If you ever see me out and want to see my shenis - just ask. I'll be glad to show ya. I'm not ashamed. 😉 About the website... it's called "All About my Vagina" and it's definitely worth having a look at - especially if you are the proud owner of a vagina. It has tons of information (more stuff than I could possibly post here) and it's very well presented. It's not vulgar, although there are articles about sex, pissing, toys - you name it. It's really informative. She's pretty well got it covered. That's where I learned about a lot of the things in this blog (among other research). And there are a bunch of cool links, too. I love that site. Vaginas ROCK!!!

Now for the links and such:

All About my Vagina - www.myvag.net

Instead Softcups - www.softcup.com

The Mooncup - www.mooncup.co.uk

The DivaCup - www.divacup.com

The Keeper - www.thekeeper.com

TravelMate - www.travelmateinfo.com

****** For anyone who reads this I would definitely like to hear your feedback. Leave me comments or send a message if you want. I would like to hear the perspectives of different people on the subjects mentioned above. I hope it was helpful - and that maybe I even introduced you to a few things ya didn't know about. ******