I should really be sleeping right now.

Yep, I should totally be asleep. I have to work in the morning and stuff. I have a feeling I can't sleep tonight for the same reason I couldn't sleep last night... that reason might be the antibiotics I'm on. Ahhh, antibiotics. I'm taking them right now for the volcano I grew on my chin. It's really worse than it sounds. It's an abscess and if you've ever had one you know the pain I've experienced for the last three days. What a way to start the new year. ⬅ There was some sarcasm for ya. 😝

Other than that I had some pretty rockin' holidays. My brother Cade (who is in the Army) was home for Christmas and New Years. I absolutely could NOT have asked for more. I don't think he really knows how much I miss him. But I miss the crap out of him. I told him so, too. When he got off the bus (and speaking of bus - I've always wanted to pick up someone from the bus station so he made my dreams come true) I hugged him so long that my dad finally just pulled me off him. I hugged him and cried. I only cried a little, though, so I don't think he noticed. 😉

I'm really proud of him right now. He's turning out to be quite a man. He's going through stuff right now with his soon-to-be ex-wife and his baby girl. The baby is safe because my aunt has her and that's good. I actually think that's gonna work out pretty well because our aunt will bring the baby to see him while he's still in Army school. I just feel bad for him because of what his wife is putting him through. But he's doing everything he can for his daughter and making the best of things so all I can say is that he has my support and that I am proud.

Well, I'm still not sleepy and I can't think of anything else to say so I guess I'm gonna go to my downstairs and hopefully find someone to keep me company until I am tired. Yes, I think that might work out.

Oh baby?

Yeah... oh baby. 😁 I have a new one. Rather, we have a new one. Her name is Yorda and she is about 11 weeks old. I took a picture of her, but it didn't turn out very good. She's nocturnal and I was scared to use the flash for fear of hurting her ginormous eyes. 👀

*sigh* She is so awesome. 😊 She is a sugar glider - and so far one of the cutest pets I've ever had. She's very friendly and curious, but has sharp little teeth and will bite the shit out of you. I've read that the best way to get her out of that is to let her bite you without pulling away and she'll realize that it's ineffective and stop... but it really freakin' hurts so I've not managed to not pull away yet. But there are other methods that I am trying so we'll just see how that goes.

Anyway, another fun fact about her is that she is a marsupial so she likes to be in a pouch a lot; also, she likes to be in contact with other living creatures. So that means in the daytime when she is sleeping we can wear her around in her pouch. It's supposed to get her used to our scent and get her to bond with us. It's so neat. She has to definitely be the coolest pet ever.

Also, in the last few days I've learned that she is quite the little escape artist. She gets out of her cage and I can't figure out how. 😆 I woke up this morning to her crawling around in the floor... and this evening when I got home she was just sitting atop her cage like she belonged there or something. 😂 It's very cute; I find it hard to be irritated with her (even though she managed to knock down some of my knick-knack stuffs and chewed the scroll wheel on my mouse so that it doesn't function very well). It's ok; other than my scroll wheel nothing was hurt. From watching her tonight I can totally see why everything would be knocked over, though. She's extremely clumsy, (probably because she's just a baby... and also, she probably expects her claws to catch her every time she starts to fall - but unfortunately they are no match for a metal filing cabinet and such). *sigh* Oh, she's adorable.

Anyway, she's pretty much consumed most of my attention the last few days... that and the rest of the things in my life that I have to keep up with. ... Speaking of other things in my life, my boy is finally growing one of his front teeth back. He's had both of the front ones missing for quite some time. *sigh* He's growing up so fast. He can spell some words and read a little now... sometimes I feel overwhelmed at how much he's progressing in life. It's all happening so fast and it's right in front of my face, but you can't even see it until you stop and look. *sigh* It hits you suddenly and you're left just like "whoa". Yep.

Anyhoo, Shadow really likes Yorda. He wants to play with her so bad, but we can't have a lot of people messing with her at one time until she gets trained and such. She's still too skittish around people for me to feel comfortable having her exposed to a 5 year old. And she still bites some so that wouldn't be a good thing. She seems to have a friendly nature, though, so maybe it won't be too tough to get her trained. I hope not. 😊

*gasp* I can't believe I bought so much stuff!

Wowza... I did something a little out of character this weekend. I bought stuff for me!!! I got this cute little mp3 player... it's 512MB, iridescent white, and shaped like a little bean! It's freakin' adorable! And I'm so excited! Also, I bought a better keyboard for my computer and I love it, too! It types quietly and the best part is that the keys light up with a blue LED so it's easier for me to see what I'm doing when I type in the dark. (And yes, I do type in the dark sometimes). For the most part I type well without looking, but when I'm using symbols and numbers I have to look. So whatever. 

Also, I bought some stuff for Nick, but I didn't make him wait until Christmas. I just can't. I'm so bad at that. LOL! ⬅ That's me laughing at myself. 😂 I bought Shadow a toy that I went ahead and gave him, as well, and I bought something to stuff the stockings at Shadow's school for the Salvation Army. All in all I spent a lot of money. I probably shouldn't have, but so far I don't regret it. So that's awesome. And I guess that's about it. Laterz!

*singing* Feeling kinda jolly, but I'm not Santa Claus.

Yeah, I just made that up. It's a new song. "Feeling kinda jolly, but I'm not Santa Claus." Wooo!

Anyway, I just wanted to post about the last couple of days. Nothing spectacular... OR MAYBE IT IS. 😀 Good times with good friends... what more can you ask for? Yesterday, me and Nick made chocolate banana-sicles. I've eaten most of them. And today me, Shadow, and Nick went to JSU with Jajuan to an art showing thing and then to Wal-Mart. It was cool.

And Nick hit me in the head with his metal mug. It made a sound (I heard something, at least) and we both laughed for a while. It was pretty funny. It was accidental, supposedly. I dunno how much I believe that. Anyway, I feel pretty jolly and just wanted everyone to know.

I know I've not been on much - and not posting anything positive when I am - so here's some happy vibes for you all!

Much love!

What?? I can breathe now?

Wow. It's been so long that I'm not even sure where to start. First of all - my car trouble. Every week for the last month I've been stranded somewhere at least once. About a month ago my Subaru that I love broke down - leaving me, Shadow, and Nick stranded in Anniston. It needs a motor and that should all be taken care of next week (hopefully).

In the meantime I borrowed my grandmothers car - which proceeded to leave me and Nick stranded at a grocery store when the starter went out. I replaced it seeing as how my MaMaw was nice enough to let me use her car in the first place. Then... I bought a car (well, technically it's not mine yet, but it will be soon). Anyway, this car broke down in Munford - leaving me, Shadow, and Nick stranded at my mom's house. The ignition coil went out.

So after we got THAT fixed it quit on me when I least expected it the other night due to needing a new fuel filter and such. Yes, once again - me, Shadow, and Nick were left out in the cold. It's running now. For how long, though - I cannot say.

In other news my sister in law (who from now on will be referred to as my "SIL") (who may end up reading this - but I'm just going to say what I feel here, openly and honestly - not maliciously intended at all) has run off. That's fine, I guess... whatever makes her happy. But the problem I have is that she took my niece (Lanah, who's 4 months old) and left; (supposedly on vacation, but I really think she just lied to me) to stay with some strangers. She said they're "friends," but I'm certain she met them on the internet and had never actually seen them before in her life.

Anyhoo, she did this a week before my brother Cade (her husband) graduated boot camp because she didn't want to see him. That's fine too, I guess. Couples have their problems. But the fact that he might have wanted to see his daughter and wasn't going to even have the option pissed me off. She said he didn't want to see her, but I know better. Anyway, SIL then contacted an aunt of mine in MS and left the baby with her. Honestly, I'm glad she did. At least we know that Lanah is cared for. I know how my SIL took care of her and will we talk about that in a moment. But yes, my aunt has her - so for now we don't have to worry about losing her or what some stranger may be doing to her. Also my aunt says that Lanah is "flourishing" so that's good. But up until recently my brother had no idea about this which also pissed me off.

Now about my SIL caring for her. To put it simply, she didn't. There were several times I wanted so much to call DHR on her for neglect - but I didn't - to keep trouble down. Whenever anyone else was around they were taking care of the baby. No one minded because she is a pleasant child, but damn. When I had Shadow I didn't want anyone else messing with him. He was MY baby and I was going to take care of him.

Anyway, check this shit out. Lanah was always left in her car seat, head rolled over to the right, not reclined enough for a newborn, poor baby always looking crooked (my SIL claimed she was trying to sit up), to the point of having a flat spot on one side of her head. Oh, and this is pretty unforgettable - one day I went over to see them and the baby was laying asleep with an empty bottle in the bed with her. When I picked her up she was soaking wet. Apparently, the whole bottle had leaked on her and she was allowed to sleep that way. So I said to my SIL, "Maybe you should wash her off." My SIL proceeded to take her to the bathroom, lay her FLAT in the bathtub with her diaper still ON, and squirt her off with a bottle. WTF?? And that's all she did. No soap. No cloth. No wonder that pretty baby always stank. My SIL said that Lanah didn't like wash cloths so she didn't use them.

My SIL said that Lanah wouldn't let her trim her nails and that's why her face was always scratched up. I could go on. But my point is... I'm glad Lanah is with my aunt. From the time that child was born my SIL didn't want to take care of her. Even before she left the hospital with her she was pushed off on the nurses and various family members that visited. I don't know what else to say other than that I'm just very relieved that Lanah is now with my aunt.

So I finally heard from my brother today and that made me feel a lot better. He knows everything and he's going to do what he can for his daughter and divorce my SIL. I truly hate that things have to end this way, but I can't blame him. He wanted to take care of that baby even though my SIL told him it might not be his... he married her anyway. And he joined the Army so that he could give them a good life. And then this shit?

I know my SIL wants custody of Lanah, but she doesn't deserve her. And she could never give her a good life. She goes from place to place - looking for people on the internet to take her in - and that's no way to raise a child. With her history of caring for the baby (and there are witnesses) I honestly don't think any judge in their right mind would give her custody. I certainly hope not.

Anyway, enough of that. As you can see - things have been crazy lately and I feel like I've been stretched a million directions and I've been worried about a jizillion things and so my blog has sort of become not such a priority. I really hope all of my friends here have been doing better than I have. I hope to hear from some of my peoples soon. I'm really sorry I haven't been in touch.

More stuff, though. Thanksgiving, aka: MY birthday, went fine. Nick's family did their Thanksgiving family gathering in the woods so that was interesting. It actually turned out fun. I got to eat toasted marshmallows which rocked my day. Also, something funny happened, but had it turned out differently might not have been so funny, but anyway... the kids had pellet guns and were running around playing with them and one of them ran backwards and fell into the fire, rolled out, accidently pulled the trigger on his gun and shot a bullet that ricocheted off the ground and hit his uncle in the throat. That was SO awesome. No one was hurt or anything, but it looked like some crap you'd see in a movie or something. Like it couldn't have happened any smoother if it had been rehearsed. It was cool.

Yeah, so I'm 23 now. Not such a big deal, really. My dad got me a chocolate cake (and you can never go wrong giving me chocolate) so that was good. I also got some jewelry from different people that honestly I probably will never wear, but that's cool. People gave me earrings. Look at my ears, people. That's not gonna stay... ahh, but it's the thought that counts. One of my good friends and his wife got me some smelly stuff and I liked that. It was nice and very unexpected.

The best stuff I got was from Nick... he gave me some CDs and DVDs that he knew I'd be really into and his chair that he loves that I wanted. That was very sweet of him. So, tonight's adventure was that Nick's scorpion escaped in my house. We found him though - making a break for the door. 😂 It was funny. And guess what I have. Guess. Ok, fine. I have fuzzy big monster slippers and I giggle when I look at them. And now I have to go. Going on a small road trip early in the morning... MUST SLEEP. 😊

:( This is just me whining / ranting / complaining.I gave you fair warning.

I should really be trying to sleep right now. But I'm not. I just wanted to write a few things... maybe clear my head...

So I'll start with my weekend. I saw a lot of people - some of which I haven't in a while. It was cool, I guess. But there were a lot more people around than I'm used to... people are just not my thing. But all in all I would say it went well. Except for my car. It was acting a little crazy. But more on that later.

Oh, and how could I forget... my sister-in-law called me up and said I had just a few hours to see my niece, Lana, (who's four months old and I helped deliver) before she leaves for Mississippi with her. WTF?? My brother gets out of boot camp next week and you're going to take his kid and leave? I haven't got to talk to him since he is in boot camp, but I really don't think he's gonna be happy about that. Anyway...

Sunday rolled around. My kiddo woke up sick... throwing up and pooping a lot. That was no good. I ended up going to Munford because my step-dad's a mechanic and he replaced my fuel filter or something and helped (my car - not Shadow), but not a lot. On to Monday...

I got to work, the boss asked me to go do production work (which in no way am I above doing) so I did. It's not fun except that I got to work near a friend so we could talk the whole day. Well, throughout the day I started feeling worse and worse. Finally at 2:00 I went home. It was maybe 10 minutes after that that I started puking and running to the toilet every few minutes. That was not fun. AT ALL. I didn't even make it in to work today which sucks for my paycheck, but I really still feel like crap. I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Now, about my car. It was doing this thing where it wouldn't go. Yeah - just wouldn't go. It would crank and then it would creep along at less than a mile per hour. Sometimes it would pick up speed, but not nearly fast enough. I'm talking - I'd be at a green light and start to go and be in the middle of the intersection when it turned red again. That SUCKED.  People were honking at me and passing me (which I couldn't blame them for), but damn.

Anyway, it finally quit on me tonight. I was stranded in Anniston for like two and a half hours. A kind stranger took us all to Nick's place (because I was taking him home and we made it pretty close to there) and my car wouldn't go up the hill. It would barely even go on flat ground. But anyway, my step-dad came up to Anniston in his big truck and took me and Shadow home and hauled my car to Munford so that he could check it out. I hope it gets fixed soon.

And - just to make me not want to sleep tonight (because I have a hard time doing so when my house is jacked up) my house is a disaster. A BIG one. There's a good reason for it and it's totally ok, but it's driving me crazy. And I'm too tired to even mess with it.

So... if you read all of this:  Thanks for listening to me be pitiful.

THE END

It's hard to dance like nobody's watching when they are.

This weekend was pretty good. I went to two parties Friday night and that was a nice change of pace. I'm not really a party kind of girl, but both of them turned out to be pretty mellow so I had fun. It was nice to just hang out and see some people that I don't often get to see. I think the highlight of my night had to be when I danced with Freddy Krueger. Well, I think it went more like I finally danced once and he stopped. I'm not sure about that, though. I wasn't really paying attention. I was too busy being nervous. I haven't danced in front of people since sixth grade. I haven't danced in front of an audience since I was way younger than that.

Yeah, for anyone who didn't know - and come to think of it that's probably a lot of people - I used to take ballet and do recitals when I was little. Oh, how I hated it. I cried on stage every time. My mom still makes fun of me to this day. Anyway, I was nervous and couldn't dance like nobody was watching - because indeed, they were. I suppose it could've been worse. I dunno about my "moves" but I do have rhythm, so... maybe I didn't look too much like an idiot. Hopefully it wasn't, like, Elaine from Seinfeld or anything. *shudder at the thought of that* I sure hope not.

Then, Saturday, I went out with Nick, Colin, Colin's wife Nancy, (who I wouldn't mind getting to hang out with more often), and his mom, dad, uncle, and nephew. We went to the Mellow Mushroom and that was some good pizza. It was nice to hang out with them... they're good people. It was a nice crowd. Ahhh, good times. Well, I guess that's about all that's happened to me this weekend that's worth mentioning.