For the first time EVER...

I threw up at work. Twice.

I felt like crap for most of the day. But now I'm feeling a bit better... Nick has been an awesome taker-carer of me. He brought me food and pretty much waited on my sickly, needy, whiney ass. I love him for it.

Also, my ear still hurts. But not like it has been... I only took some Tylenol before work this morning and haven't taken any since. So that's improvement. I still feel really puny, but hopefully I'm finally getting over this shit. That would be nice.

THE END

When I decide to have a bad day...

Damnit, I do.

So I called the doctor AGAIN today. A nice nurse finally agreed that I needed to come back in and said that the doctor would see me FOR FREE. Yay! So I went and followed her instructions and I saw a doctor. He told me that the inside of my ear looked "angry." That was the exact word he used. I told you it hated me. 😂  Anyway, he prescribed me some ear drops (which the first doctor said I did NOT need) and a different set of antibiotics in case the first ones don't work.

So I was all happy (well, hurting like hell because he'd just probed my ear and I hadn't taken any Ibuprofen in the last few hours), but optimistic. Then I got to the exit place and the lady up front told me there's a charge. I told her I was told that I wasn't supposed to be charged and she got all uppity with me. When I asked her if I could speak to the nurse that I spoke to over the phone she went and got someone else and they were all "Nothing is for free." I was appalled. They were SO fucking rude.

Then the nurse who I spoke to walked up and it turned out that those stupid women up front had sent me to the wrong doctor. She said, "I came up here and told all of them." I thanked her and the doctor who was planning to see me. But look - I'm already tired because I haven't slept a whole night through in over a week, I'm broke as fuck, and MY EAR WAS KILLING ME. I gave those bitches up front my credit card, but didn't sign the slip. I'm going to dispute that charge. But anyway, I got my prescription, got in the car, and cried all the way back to work. When I got there, I told Nick my sad story and then went to my desk. I still hadn't quite gained my composure and when my boss asked me what was the matter I cried again when I told him.

About 5 minutes after that my mom called. My grandmother (who has Alzheimer's) has run away and won't take her meds. Mom was following her in the car, but she won't get in. Mom wanted me to come talk to her. Also, I heard that my little MaMaw had sort of roughed up of one of my friends from high school who my mom got to watch her. She's going to be a handful. I called mom right after I got home and luckily the cops had already picked her up so I didn't have to go. I'm so glad... I was completely not up for going all the way out there and fighting MaMaw. She's ferocious. Where do you think me and my mom got it from?? Anyway, looks like she's going to have to be put in a home... No one can keep up with her. It'll probably be best for her. I hope, anyway. 😕

About the only good thing that has happened to me today was that I got my Christmas present from Nick... and it was SO worth the wait. It's a Yoda purse / backpack... it looks like he's riding on your back. I LOVE IT. The straps are too big for me (as with most everything) but that will be easy to fix.

Anyway, we're about to go eat. I'm NOT cooking today - not that I have a right to call that thing I do cooking, but you know what I'm saying. So yeah, HOPEFULLY that's all that goes wrong today. If not... well, I suppose you'll read about it later, eh?

FUCK YOU, ear.

Oh my goodness. Last night there was a warning issued on Blu's Ear and surrounding counties... it seems that that a madman was threatening to take a knife and gouge out the following areas if they did not stop hurting: the Ear, Temple, Throat, Jaw, Back Teeth, and Right Side of Head. Stay tuned for more updates as they become available.

For those who don't know (lucky you if you've missed my whiney bulletins) I have an ear infection or something. It started last Sunday... not the one we just had, but the one before that. Over the week it seemed to get better sometimes, then worse. Finally, over this weekend it had gotten so bad that I went to the doctor first thing Monday morning. I was given antibiotics, but I honestly think it's getting worse. It's a stabbing pain and LOTS of pressure. I've been eating Ibuprofen like candy - 4 pills every two hours to keep the pain at bay. I'm no baby. But this shit HURTS.

I've been woken up around 2 am every morning this week by PAIN. That just makes me angry. I'm pissed because I'm awake and I'm pissed because it hurts. WTF?? Last night it was hurting so bad that I was just laughing. I didn't know what else to do.

This morning when it woke me at 2 am I must've been losing my mind. I became defiant. I was like, "Fuck you, ear. I haven't snuggled Nick in over a week because of you." So I turned over and snuggled him even though it hurt. It hurt regardless, so why not?? Then I ate fucking ice cream at 4 am. I was so angry that I ate ice cream. Warm is supposed to soothe my ear, but that shit doesn't work - not on THIS ear. So I had ice cream. I showed that bitch who was boss. It wasn't going to rule me anymore. I'm tired of being nice to that ear and all I get is pain. Screw that. Then, around 5 I finally took more Ibuprofen. That ear hurt me. BAD. So that's what it got.

THE END

Freedom isn't free...

Freedom is a fucking illusion.

Ok, so maybe that's a little dramatic. But that's how I'm feeling right now. Let me explain.

I've been thinking a lot about other cultures and how they DON'T all bust their asses 40+ hours per week, earning very little vacation time each year. This article tells what other countries get for vacation in comparison to the United States. As of 2004 Americans work 50% more than do Germans, French, and Italians. This article (published in 2001) pretty much sums it up: "Capitalism could be another reason: Americans don't enjoy vacations as a right but as a privilege granted by their employers."

Look - I'm not lazy and I'm not trying to get out of working, but I'm starting to feel like, "What the fuck is it all for?" If you think about it you're really NOT free to do whatever you want unless you come into some money. And in order to do that you usually have to work your ass off unless you just got hit with some luck. Which means that we're just slaves to the system - with freedom being the carrot in front of our little jackass noses. Yeah, we can do whatever we want - as long as we work hard enough to get it. Who decides how hard, then?? As a friend this morning put it, "In America we live to work whereas in Europe (and probably some other countries) they work to live."  That's what I want. Less-strained lives and whatnot.

And let me go ahead and state that I think we're so capitalist because we're all on the brink of losing our fucking minds... if we have to work so hard we may as well have something nice and shiny and new to show for it. Forget all that time spent doing some mind-numbing or back-breaking work... true - that's only precious time we won't get back, but at least I can buy something to have to show for it. That's a problem. We (as a culture) need therapy, I do believe.

And before any of you comment and tell me that if I don't like things then to leave - well - all I can say is that I'm thinking about it. But before I can I have to get up some money so I'm stuck here for now, regardless. And I don't need your shit. I'm not anti-American; I just don't like every little thing about the way things are. And how do you change things?? You speak up, damn it. That's how.

Yesterday...

Yesterday I didn't go to work. And it was SO worth it. I had some things to do with Shadow at school. I enjoyed myself and he seemed to have fun, too. We had lunch together (mmm, cafeteria food - no, seriously - it was better than I'd ever had as far as that goes). And we went to the book fair. Then he was in a little program the school was putting on. It was great.  😀

At the program there was a lady who was "saving" LITERALLY half of the whole first row for some friends. So I went back to the second row. Well, when it started and her friends hadn't shown up I went and took the edge seat on that row. I'm sorry; I wasn't about to sit farther back when there were empty seats available. Well, I heard her telling her kid to go tell me to move (which wouldn't have worked, btw - but the kid wouldn't do it). Then her friends show up about 5 minutes into it... and she leans over and is all "They're here now." I just pointed to the seat I'd left and told her there was an empty seat. I wasn't moving. I feel like if it was that important to her friends they could've at least shown up on time.

Anyhoo, she bitched loudly through the whole thing to her friends about that rude girl that took their seats... I just ignored her. I think she was trying to get me to say something, but I was the bigger man. I would've keyed that bitch if she'd got in my face, though. Well, probably not. But yeah I felt like she was the rude one. I mean, yeah, I did take a seat she was "saving", but when it starts and the seats are still empty I feel like that means they're up for grabs. What if they just hadn't shown up?? Then what? I dunno. I'm personally against seat-saving. I don't do it and I don't expect for it to be done for me. BUT... anyway.  The program was great and I rather enjoyed myself.  😁

My first video! Shadow dancing to "Switch"

We were changing his myspace song and I recently learned to work the video feature on my camera... when he started dancing I just had to try it out. 😁 He had no clue... 😂😍

 

I want you to... read this!

These are to 10 different males in my life - in no particular order. That is as much as you need to know.

• I want you to stop disappointing him. He doesn't deserve that.
• I want you to come home. We miss you.
• I want you to stop treating me like a mother fucking doormat. I HATE!!!
• I want you to come back from the dead. He wants to meet you and I miss you.
• I want you to stop growing up, but since I can't have that I want you to be a happy grown-up when you get there.
• I want you to stop pooping in my floor. I know you do it on purpose. I love you anyway.
• I want you to meet someone that you can share you life with so I won't have to worry that you're stalking me.
• I want you to know how much I truly appreciate you. It's a lot.
• I want you to be happy, too, my friend. You deserve it.
• I want you to know how much you mean to me. I can't tell you with words, but I'd be lost without you.

THE END.