Dilemma :[

I'm stressed the fuck out right now over Shadow's father.

If you know me then you know the story. Statutory rape, he left before the kid was born, came back for the birth, and was gone to Florida two weeks later. No child support, no letters, and only a phone call once a year on his birthday. Shadow met him when he was 3 - which was 7 years ago. Last year, Pooh had his mother mail some clothes to Shadow. That's it. That's the extent of their relationship.

Lately, Pooh has been posting on his myspace that he's in Georgia and sometimes Alabama. He has been spotted in my old hometown so I believe this. He never contacts us though he told a friend of the family that he was in town to help us.

I honestly would prefer that this man just step out of our lives. He strings Shadow along with his, "I'm coming to visit, I miss you, I love you" shit when they do talk. Shadow is curious about him and really wants to see him. I've never stopped a visit from happening. I've never had the opportunity to.

Despite the fact that I would like for him to go away I don't know that it would be in my best interest to put an end to the little contact that they do have. I don't want to be the bad guy who "kept them apart." Even though it's hard I'd like for Shadow to see things as they are.

Anyway, Pooh sent Shadow a message on myspace the day after his birthday. I let Shadow write him back because he wanted to. I guess I'm just a little freaked because he has now initiated contact without going through me. I was dumb enough not to log in first to see if anyone had written him. I don't know what to do. But now Shadow is always anxious to check his myspace and bummed when he doesn't have a message. Same old shit, new medium, I guess. Blegh. 😟

Not a great week for anyone, it seems.

Today I had to take Natasha to the vet. She vomited last night and didn't even bother to move out of it. I had to clean her up like a baby. Poor thing. She was being so lazy the last few days that I was getting pretty worried. I called the clinic and they asked me to bring her back. Since that was an hour away I told them that I'd prefer to take her to her regular vet if she needed to see someone and they said that she probably really did so I took her to our vet. He told me that she had a fever and when he touched her abdomen she screamed like she was being murdered. 😭 I wanted to die. He told me that he felt it was almost an emergency situation, and that something needed to be done TODAY. He said that since the clinic did the spay he thought it would be better for me to take her back there - not only because they had her chart and knew the details of the surgery, but also because they do free after-care and he thought that I'd have a pretty big bill by the time he was done with her. SO... off to Irondale we went.

When we got there they stuck a needle in her belly and tried to pull out some fluid, but there was none so that was a good sign. They squished around on her belly and I could tell that it hurt her, but she was good for it. Then they gave her an IV for 4 hours with some antibiotics in there. They sent her home with some pain meds and instructions to keep her quiet and still for 10 days. I called her vet and let him know and he said that if she doesn't make a quick turnaround to bring her back first thing. She's curled up asleep on the love seat now. So, that's been my day.

I talked to my bestie Janet and apparently a cat that she was fond of was killed by some dogs. I also talked to my good friend Jeni today and her boyfriend Ben was in the hospital earlier this week. Also, my buddy Jarsh called and said that his mom's mom is in the hospital and that they need a place to put 2 dogs, a cat, and a parrot. I'm willing to help with that any way that I can. But fuck, it seems to have a been a bad week for everyone. I'm hoping that the weekend ends up better. I'm ready for it.

❤

:(

I had my trees trimmed today; just the branches over my house. I did it because I thought it would be the smart thing to do because the limbs tend to fall off and break things and they're big enough to do actual damage.

But when I came home today - I was devastated. I haven't cried so hard in a long time. My trees look so sad. I really feel like I did the wrong thing. I regret it so hard. I have house insurance. I feel like I should have left them alone. I feel like I've harmed them and it hurts more than having to repair my house would. It's probably worthless anyway.

fuck.

The cat is pushing my buttons...

The cat is pushing my buttons and for once I think it's cute. 😊 She's playing with the buttons on the dehumidifier... they beep when she steps on them. I think she's figured out that it's her causing the noise, because she keeps doing it...

Speaking of my cat I've got a screen door up that has (so far) been effective at keeping her out of my kitchen. So we've MOSTLY been getting along. 😁 Yesterday she was not too happy with me. She was spayed. When we got home I couldn't touch her without her hissing and growling. If only she realized that I'd saved her from a lifetime of unsatisfied heat cycles, she'd thank me. Oh well. I guess she's mostly over it - she's in my lap now. 😌

Also, Natasha was spayed. I'm really relieved to have that done. Now it doesn't matter who tries to convince me to breed her, because it just won't happen. I'm guessing my parents will flip their shit when they find out, but oh well. I really don't appreciate that none of them respect the fact that I believe in a cause, and put time and energy into said cause, and that producing puppies would completely go against all of that. I guess some people would sell out for the money, but it's just not that important to me.

Anyway, so now all but one female in the house has a shaved belly - Emma - because she was spayed before I got her. We're a sad looking bunch over here. 😂

Yesterday while we were waiting for the girls to be fixed, we went to the zoo. I haven't been to the zoo since I was in kindergarten. So that was a ton of fun for me! 😁 I fed some flamingos and some lorikeets. I took so many pictures that my camera died. Shaun has fun pretty much no matter what and Shadow seemed to have a good day, too, despite the fact that he was stuck in the back seat for an hour each way with Natasha. I swear - until she laid down and went to sleep he was like, "Oh my god, Tasha. Get out of my face. Mom, she's breathing on me!" It was like I had two kids back there. 😂 Luckily, Tash is lazy and decided to take a nap about 15 minutes in. On the way back she was so drugged that it didn't matter. She was practically asleep walking to the car and didn't even have it in her to sit up and breath on him once she was in there. She did drool a bunch, though, but I was prepared - I brought a blanket. 😀

Well, it's late and I don't hear the washing machine so I'm going to dry my jackets and go to bed. Goodnight, myspace. See you later.

Foster girls are spayed / My cat is a whore.

The foster girls got spayed today and they are quite pitiful.
Poor babies. I hope they feel better in the morning.

When I picked them up Sandy walked on the leash at a snail's pace.  She was still groggy from the surgery.  After about 3 feet she just stopped. I could see it on her face:  "That's all I got. You'll just have to carry me now." 😂😂😂

Faith walked fine, but didn't get in the car on her own.  She's the one who jumps everywhere so that was a big deal for her.  She's definitely not her normal, energetic, dancing self. And that is ok.  Some rest will do them good.

I have another dog situation right now, but I'm not going to talk yet.  I'd like to wait and see how it pans out first.

On another note my cat just came into heat.  She's showing everyone her coochie.  It's like, "Dude, stop backing it up on me. I'm not the right species. Or sex."  I feel sad for her.  I know it sucks to not be able to get laid when you wanna.  Oh well. She'll be fixed soon.  I was hoping to have her spayed before this happened.  I set up an appointment on Monday for the 20th at the clinic in Irondale.  They're only open one Saturday a month and I just found out.  I made the appointments as soon as I did.  (I can't take off work to drive them there and if I let the volunteers transport for me they will have to stay overnight.
I'm not really ok with that so when I found out that they were opening on a weekend I jumped on it.)  Anyway, I guess I was a few weeks too late. 😑 Darn.

Also, I'm having Natasha spayed then, too.  My whole family is going to be pissed off, but I really don't care.  They all want me to breed her because they want puppies.  And they think I'm stupid not to do it because I could sell the puppies for a chunk.  But no matter how you slice it I just don't believe in selling animals for profit.  And I know from experience that even a purebred pup can land in the shelter.  I am SO not up for contributing to a problem that I fight against.  THAT would just be stupidest thing EVAR.  Also, what if she doesn't even WANT puppies? I'll bet no one ever thinks about that.

Anyway, I'm done for the night. I smell like dogs from driving them around all day.  It is time for a shower.  ❤

PetSmart Today

Today I went to PetSmart to walk the shelter dogs. It was great to see all of the volunteers that I haven't seen... it's the first time I've been in a while. I guess I really slacked off on volunteering in that way over the last year or so, but I've had a lot going on with the house and I really just felt like I needed to rest and take time to enjoy the great things about my life. For what it's worth I was taking a couple of carloads of stuff to donate to the shelter thrift store every couple of weeks and I've had foster dogs, too. I don't feel like I've been a complete quitter. 😝

Anyway, today was a pretty good day for our dogs - 3 were adopted! One that I was walking, Daisy, was one of the lucky ones to find a home. She didn't seem to like kids much... she always barked at them. And then one family came up and they had a young daughter and she didn't bark. Not a peep. She even let the kid hold her! I was absolutely shocked. The parents were like, "We're thinking about getting a dog. We think our daughter is getting old enough to help care for one." They showed her how to hold the dog and how to give her treats. They told her to pet the dog slow and easy and the kid did it. She was wonderful. I was in awe and I told the parents so. I just had to ask if they were from here, which they were. You don't often see that kind of regard for animals from people who are from here. No offense, locals, but that's why we have such a problem with strays. People just don't give a shit. Anyway, I was like, "I don't know how y'all feel about this dog, but I just want to let you know that this is the first child she hasn't barked at today." You know when things just click? I don't care what anyone says - the dog chose them and they chose the dog. It was perfect. You should have seen the cart full of stuff they bought her, too!

One of the other volunteers, Melanie, had a foster dog that had been hit by a car when she found her. With the help of Hope's Rescue the dog is ok. She even underwent heartworm treatment. She was a beautiful collie - she didn't even look like a mixed breed. Shelly was like, "This dog has come a long way from the bloody mess that I met at the vet's office a few months ago." A family drove all the way here from Tennessee to adopt her. Of course, Melanie was happy for the dog, but she had tears in her eyes. She said, "I'm happy for her - she went right to them and didn't even look back." I think every foster parent gets that happy/sad, bittersweet feeling when their dog finally finds their home. It's kind of a tough job; of course you get attached. But also, the shelter brought her a Christmas card from one of her other fosters - it had a nice picture and update. I swear - things like that really make it all worth it.

Speaking of fosters I've heard that little Bug-a-Boo has been in the newspaper back home in Wisconsin. Apparently he goes to work with his new mom at the nursing home and the people there just love him. He is a big goof - I have no doubt in his ability to bring a smile to someone's face. I can't wait to get my copies of the pictures. Luckily for me I work with Bug's aunt so I can get updates on him anytime. 😁

I'm telling you - we have some awesome dogs here. Some of them are a little rough around the edges, but all they need is a little TLC. I haven't met one yet who wasn't worth it.

Grrr... cats.

So I'm pretty angry with Midna right now. She broke one of my mugs and it's irreplaceable. A couple of weeks ago she broke something else of mine that was a gift and this shit is just getting old. Both of the things she's broken have been in the kitchen where I would prefer she never go to begin with (in all fairness my dogs aren't allowed in there, either). I absolutely hate the idea of her coming out of the litter box only to jump up on my kitchen counters or the dining room table. Of course, the first thing she does when she jumps up anywhere is lick her butt and that's just rude. I'm not enjoying myself here. I think I'd be happier if I just sent her away. 😕

It's not like I hate her, but I'm just not attached to her like I am with my dogs. I think she's cute as hell sometimes and I like it when she jumps out of nowhere and "gets" me. Sometimes she's ok to sleep with. I like playing with her toenails. She reminds me a lot of Shadow when she fights nothing or chases her tail. Speaking of Shadow - he loves her. He's totally a cat person. It would break his heart for me to get rid of her. Aside from that I made a commitment to that stupid cat when I decided to keep her. I'm not big on breaking my commitments so I'm not giving up on her just yet. Shit... I mean, sending Twilight back to my mom still haunts me and I was at my wits end with that one and her peeing everywhere. I felt like I had no other options.

Since the living room is pretty much cat-proof I think that's just going to be where she gets to stay. I found a screen online that I'm seriously thinking of installing to keep her out of the kitchen. I don't care how ghetto it is - if I can have my cake and eat it, too, then damn it I will. There's no point in having cake (or pussy, for that matter) if you can't enjoy it. 😂 In all seriousness I have two dog gates up. Why not a cat screen? It's blatantly obvious that I live with animals and I'm ok with that. Anyone who knows me knows what my fur-kids mean to me. I really wouldn't be ok with myself if I didn't try my hardest to make this work.

Anyway, when I got home from work I put a temporary thing up and she hasn't bothered to try and cross it. I would just leave it, but it's a bitch for people to cross, too. So that's not a long-term solution. However, this rolly-screen might be. For $50, I think it's worth a shot. If it can keep her where she needs to be I'd get one for my front door, too. Better to find out it doesn't work by having her in the kitchen than outside. My only worry is that she will claw it up, but I could just put those goofy fake cat nails on her if she tries. Cats are too dignified for that shit. That would show her. 😂

I dunno. When Scooter was a puppy and when I first got Emma they were bad. Scooter would shred anything he could reach and Emma... damn, Emma ripped up the bathroom floor for fucks sake. But those were easy problems to solve: remove things the dogs could chew and put them in a room where there was nothing to get into. Cats are not so easy. They go everywhere. And unless I lock up everything I own it's just out there waiting for her to destroy it. Since I'm not into getting rid of her I could just pack up my stuff and re-arrange my house for her... but FUCK that - this is MY house. I guess my best option for the time being is to restrict her access to most places.

Anyone else get frustrated with cats? I love all animals, but damn, felines have proven to test my patience more than any other creature I've ever lived with. 😖