I don't really know what these are about.

I don't really know what these are about.  LOL  The stamping was done with a plate that looked like mail and birds, and the nail tattoos had the same vibe, so I put them together.  The tattoos were some cheapie ones from Wal-Mart, but they worked out pretty nice.  They aren't true "fake tattoos"... the images are kind of rubbery.  It's weird.  Most fake tattoos just stick down and that's that.  But these hung off my nails, so I had to use a file to remove the extra and acetone to get off what ended up on my cuticles and fingers.  Bizarre!

So the blue base on my thumb and pinkie looked like it was going to match the bird on my bird finger when it was in the bottle.  But when it dried, it did not.  It was much darker.  Oh well.

I feel like these are ok.  Not my favorite, but probably because it's not really my style.  But hey, at least they aren't boring!  😃

So I'm at work today - working...

So I'm at work today - working - because that's what single moms do.  We work our fucking asses off, because we have to.  Working and taking care of the house and the child are the main focus.  Not hard to understand, right?

So I was there and I got a phone call from a kid's mom.  I have ranted about this mom before.  She's the one with a litter of children who tries to give me one or two of them every weekend.  She's actually gotten mad at me before for NOT keeping her son all weekend, as if I'm obligated to do that or something.  This woman NEVER invites my son to her house (as if I would let him stay, but that's not the point).  This woman with 6 or 7 kids - all of whom are skinny.  This woman who never wants to drop her kid off or pick him up.  Perfectly content to have me spend my time and gas doing all the running when she's the one who so desperately needs to be rid of her child.

So yeah.  This woman calls me.  At work.  Trying to give me her child again.

I've had a rough week and honestly I'm not really up for this shit.  She wants to argue and haggle and push me into taking him even though I don't want to.  I was thinking about letting him come over after the dance, but I hadn't fully committed.  So I called Shadow and he was giving me attitude, so I was like, "Fuck this.  You're not having friends over."  SO, I texted her and told her that her kid couldn't come, and also, to not be calling me at work.  I think that's totally legit.  When I am at work I really don't like to be bothered.

So I get a 3 page text back about how I need to lose the attitude and be nice to her.  Um... excuse me?  I wrote her and told her that I didn't need to be nice to her - she calls me every weekend looking for free babysitting!  Never invites my child over.  What incentive do I have to be nice?  I also told her not to be calling me multiple times - she usually calls repeatedly if I don't answer.

Anyway, the texts kept coming and they just got stupider and stupider.  She finally devolved into name calling.  And she finally just really pushed me over the edge.  So I lit into her and I didn't hold back.  I told her I was sorry that she was too stupid to know how to use a condom and I was sorry if she was so unhappy with her life, but that it wasn't my place to watch her kids so she needed grow the fuck up and deal with it.  Then the threats started.  She wants to "woop my ass."  I wrote back "You don't even have the gas money to come and start any shit with me. I'm ALL THE WAY in Oxford. Psh. I'm not scared."

So at that point she decided to get on her son's xbox and call MY SON and tell him to tell me to stop texting her.  I wrote her that if she wanted to end it, just stop replying - because I'm not going to sit there and just take her shit.  She finally realized that I wasn't kidding, and quit texting me.

So... I got home and I'm half-way feeling bad for just letting loose on her like that because that is SO NOT ME.  I can't hurt anyone or anything without feeling fucking guilty.  Then I ask Shadow what all she said to him.  He's like, "She told me to tell you to stop texting her.  And then, this almost made me laugh out loud - she said "No offense, but you need to tell your mama to stop sleeping with black guys."

😳

Say what, bitch?  You just called and said some racist shit to my half-black SON?  I guess that explains why he's never been invited over.

So even though I hadn't heard from her in an hour or so I sent her this beauty:

"Just spoke to my son. You racist, closed-minded bitch. Don't drag my child into your non-sense. Even I have the decency not to drag your child in. I'm done with you. Don't ever call or text me again. You are such a piece of shit that you aren't worth our time or energy. FUCK YOU."

Because I just didn't know what else to say.

Then we drove Shadow to the dance, who is thankfully secure enough with himself to have not let that BS phase him.  And her house is on the way there so I put the window down and yelled " RACIST WHORE" as loud as I could.  Because I'm a classy god-damned lady.

Fuck.

I am not trying to pretend that I'm all deep and shit.

I am not trying to pretend that I'm all deep and shit.  But I can't help but think, as I sit here waiting for these ants to wake up a little so I can feed them to my lizard, about how we're all just food.  All of us.  We're just hunks of meat waiting to be eaten.  If you are not eaten before you're dead, you will be after.  Some kind of bacteria or something will get at you eventually.

I have to try hard to not think about stuff like this, especially when I eat.  If I look at my food and think "Hey, this chicken died so I can live", then I would cry.  I know this from experience.  I also don't thank any gods for my food, but I sometimes find myself thanking the dead animal.  It's only polite.

I don't like deep conversations.  I don't like to think about much like this at all.  I think that even my closest friends have no idea that I live on the verge of feeling that life is pointless and I don't want to do this anymore.  There are a lot of good things in my life that make me happy, but I often feel selfish for feeling happy when there is still so much suffering.

And no matter how much I do or how hard I try, I can never fix it all.  I barely make a minuscule dent, in the grand scheme of things.

Stuff like this really bothers me.  Some days when I've been thinking too much, I wish I could just die and return back to the bottom of the food chain.  I think that life is simpler there.

I feel like, right now, that I don't believe in life.  I'm calling bullshit here.  Who's fucked up idea was this?  I don't want to play this game anymore.

Looks like my ants are moving.  I guess it's time to feed my Koopa.  ❤

The most bizarre thing is happening outside of work right now....

The most bizarre thing is happening outside of work right now. There is a farmer's market that pops up every Thursday and blocks the street. But tonight is the parade for Oxford's homecoming. So the band, the cheerleaders, the football players, the flag girls and majorettes are all crammed in the middle of the farmer's market performing. It looks pretty crowded over there...

I thought I uploaded this before, but I guess I did not.

I thought I uploaded this before, but I guess I did not.  This was sometime when I first brought him home.  He looks less shriveled now, and is in a different house.  He is drinking his water like a good boy!  I love that you can hear him smacking!  ❤

Butterfly nails! 🙂

Butterfly nails!  🙂

I have wanted this stamping plate for a LONG time, but it's always sold out every time I try to order it.  Thank goodness that Ninja Polish had one!

I used all holographic polishes, but I just couldn't get the camera to pick up the rainbows today.  I desperately need a new camera.  My birthday is coming up soon, so maybe I will get one then. Paws crossed!

So... for about a year...

So... for about a year I've had to crate my dog Faith so she won't fight the other dogs.  I don't know if it was stress or what, but she suddenly decided that she's not friends with a couple of my other dogs.  So, I do the doggie shuffle every day.  Crate and rotate.  All that jazz.

Anyway, there is one dog that no other dog EVER messes with.  Scruffy, my little Booka.  He's the smallest, but I'm pretty sure that's not why.  I'm pretty sure it's because he's convinced he's a cat so he can't be bothered with all the doggie business.  Whatever.  I am not complaining.

So Booka used to go out with the first batch of dogs (and sometimes he still will), but then he doesn't want to come in.  He REALLY likes outside.  So I bring everyone else in, then let Faith out.  Pretty often, they will come back in together.  Sometimes he's difficult and just won't, but I've been pleasantly surprised to see him come in with her a good bit.

Lately, he won't even go out with the first batch of dogs.  He waits until she goes.  That's cool.  So this morning I went in there and Faith was in her crate and Booka was just in the crate beside her all curled up.  Looks like he slept there.  It's wide open, but he's in there and not coming out.  I guess he will when it's her turn to go out.

Doggie relationships are really adorable.  And they just surprise me.  It's nice to see new friendships form.  ❤