Ooh! I just touched Beyonce and she didn't run!

Ooh!  I just touched Beyonce and she didn't run!

Granted - I BARELY touched her at the base of her tail, but she was looking right at me, so she knew I did it.  She was laying down with Snaga and I guess she was comfy.

When I fed all the other cats earlier they all wanted to be petted, so of course I did.  Beyonce was nearby (maybe 2 - 3 feet away), so I just looked up at her a few times while I petted them, like, "This could be you, too."  LOL  She always watches, but never approaches.  She was just waiting for me to move so she could eat.

I hope I can wear her down one of these days.  I'm trying hard!

Been working on Calculus.

Been working on Calculus. It's getting more complicated, so it's going to take a good bit of effort for me to get ready for the test on Monday. I still feel good about the 2/3 of the definitions I know. Still gotta tackle the last bit. I spent today on actual math and I'm gonna need more work on that before I'm comfortable. We're learning about the Epsilon - Delta definition of limits. It's neat and I understand it (mostly), but the math looks different. Gonna take some getting used to.

I've had a few people check on me...

I've had a few people check on me (y'all are amazing!), so I thought I'd post an official update on my mental well-being.  I'm currently waiting for my Melatonin to kick in, so the plan is to not make this a lengthy update, but damn I like words, so we'll see.  😛

The short answer is yes - I'm doing ok.  THANK GOODNESS!  I feel basically stable.  I've been going to bed around the same time every night (close to now-ish, if it hasn't been a particularly hard day that causes me to crash sooner).  Unfortunately, I usually still wake up around 3 am, but I just stay in bed and kind of drift in and out until I get up at 6:30.  (This semester brought a lot of changes because I've never been one to willingly follow a schedule, but it's for the best right now.)

I never did up myself back to the full dosage of Celexa and I'm not sure if I will.  My appointment with the mental health center is in late October, so as long as nothing major comes up I'm just going with what I'm doing for now because it seems to be working.

My jaw has mostly stopped clenching, though I'm burning through gum and gummies, too.  (Gummies make a nice low-calorie chewy snack, I've found.)  I'm not eating like a horse; in fact, my appetite has decreased a bit, but I really think that I was overeating before because I felt like crap.  I have more energy and I haven't yet been exercising as much as I'd intended, but I am walking a good bit more and tend to work more around the house in the evenings instead of coming home and just being a lump on the couch.  So I call that progress.

Anyway.  This is better.  I am having a bit of what I've found out is called "emotional blunting" but with my over-feeling self it kind of feels like a vacation.  It's not major, but I am able to watch, you know, American Ninja Warrior with the guys and not cry.  (Seriously.  I was ridiculous before.  I mean - that's me and it's ok, but I don't have time to deal with myself right now.  LOL)  It's not like I don't care about things anymore because I super do, but some things just aren't taking a toll on me like they used to and I need that - for a while, at least.

So, there you go.  No more death thoughts.  No more couch-lump, unmotivated Blu.  The only bad health thing at the moment is that my Psoriasis and Arthritis are flaring up a little, but it's not super bad yet.  I need to make time to see a doctor, but my schedule is busy - at least for a few more weeks.  I hear that we finish one class kind of early in the semester, so if we do I will have a bit more time to worry about me.  In the meantime I'm just working and going to school, as usual!

Super thank you to everyone who helped me and who checked on me.  I need friends like that in my life.  I'm so thankful for you all!  ❤

I just had a great lunch.

I just had a great lunch. Went by Captain D's and almost hit the drive through, but changed my mind and went in instead. So glad I did. I made a new friend!

An old guy with a cane was approaching the door as I was, so I held it open for him. I asked him if he wanted to order first, but he said he had nothing to do and all day to do it, so I went ahead.

Got to a table and when I saw him come in just decided to ask him to sit with me. We chatted over lunch. He complimented my nails and said that he does them for his wife in the nursing home (who he goes to see every day). He says the polish itself makes a difference in the application, and his favorite brand is Essie even though he could buy a bourbon for the cost of it. LOL He loves his little one-eyed poodle and only lets him go out "on a string." He was also driving a surprisingly bad ass little truck he custom made. 

I swear, my day is made. 😃

Go forth and make some new friends, y'all. It's the best! ❤️❤️❤️

Ha! I just petted Beyonce!

Ha!  I just petted Beyonce!  That'll teach her not to relax enough to fall asleep out in the open!  😛

Seriously, she popped straight up and ran.  I probably shouldn't have done it, but I haven't touched her in over a year.  It was irresistible.  She's fine, btw - just sitting in the middle of the floor looking SUPREMELY annoyed.  LOL

Ten + sheets of paper (front and back)...

Ten + sheets of paper (front and back), plus using my colorful new gel pens to make me want to do it and now I can write from memory what I wrote for Calculus yesterday, plus another third.

•  The two fundamental ideas of Calculus are:

1)  The derivative.  This is a way of measuring instantaneous change.

2)  The integral.  This is the sum of numerous pieces.

•  A tangent is a straight line that touches a curve at a specific point.

•  A derivative, as it relates to the tangent, is the slope of a line that is tangent to a curve.

•  The three main purposes of Differential Calculus are:  1) precision, 2) approximation, 2) maximum and minimum.

I think that part was probably the easiest.  The last third looks a little tougher.  I would read it right now to double-check, but my brain is processing.  I don't want to cause a glitch or a system meltdown.  LOL  I think it's time to step away from my desk and make some dinner.  😃

Yes, I actually spent money to own this.

Yes, I actually spent money to own this. If you don't know what Simply Nailogical is, you need to fix that. Sooner rather than later. 😛