This weekend has been a mixed bag.

This weekend has been a mixed bag.

Got a flu shot Friday.  Felt really not good the rest of the day.  Also started back on methotrexate.  Current feels:  Nauseated as hell.  Woke up at 5 am that way.  Even Zofran couldn't kick it.  Yay, life.

The high points have been that I treated myself to a Domino's pizza and little lava cake.  It was SO GOOD.  No regrets.  Also, Shaun and I took Emma and Booka walking yesterday.  It was nice.  Aside from that I spent all of yesterday on the couch alone with Netflix.  It is so so rare that I get the TV to myself.  I made the most of it.  LOL

I've been studying Calculus off and on this weekend.  I really really love it.  Even when it's challenging, I mostly enjoy it.  Can't say that I'm never frustrated or lost because it does happen, but overall I'm really digging it a lot.  Almost makes me wonder if I should major in Math rather than Computer Science.  LOL

Anyway.  I'm off.  I still have plenty of things that need doing despite the craptacular way I feel today.  I hope you all have enjoyed your weekend!  ❤

Looks like I'm going back on methotrexate.

Looks like I'm going back on methotrexate. Having mixed feelings. But beggars can't be choosers.

Got through some Calculus homework this morning.

Got through some Calculus homework this morning.  Also made a doctor's appointment (the guy I liked at CARES will see me on Friday).  Yay for progress.

I feel tired despite going to bed so early.  I need to get right.  I also need to get my ass to work.  LOL  Getting ready now.  Woo.

I know that no one likes complaint posts, but here is one anyway:

I know that no one likes complaint posts, but here is one anyway:

I've had a really bad bone day and my skin has that deep tingling that lets me know it's about to get ugly (both literally AND figuratively). I plan to go to the doctor soon - hopefully this week. I REALLY don't want back on methotrexate, but I'm afraid it might be my only option since I am uninsured.

I feel like this is a no-win situation. I will either have chronic skin and bone pain that makes it hard to stay un-depressed, or I will have headaches, nausea, and fatigue that interferes with my life.

I'm in bed. I just can't even with all of this right now. 🙁

One test went wayyy better than expected, and...

One test went wayyy better than expected, and the other... well, went as expected.  LOL

SOMEHOW I made a 103 on my psych test.  😳  It was on babies and children, and while - yes, I've had a kid he hasn't been a baby for quite a long time, and not a kid (up to age 10 is what we studied) for some years, either.  I do remember some things from way back, but man, it's not easy!  We're on adolescents now, so maybe I will have a good handle on the next test.  Or maybe I'll totally bomb it, who knows?

On the Cal test... I made a 66.  I told you so!  LOL  It sounds like most of the class didn't do well, so I'm not beating myself up.  For one:  He is going to give a re-take, and for two, my average (even with a D) is still an 89.47.  Even if I didn't re-take it and do better it's entirely possible I'd still come out with an A.  But I am going to re-take and do better, so... 😛

My depression seems to be back under control, so that's great.  I feel really good about the new stuff we learned in Cal tonight, so that's also great.  I stayed after class and asked if there were any errors that I was repeating and Mr. Osborn identified a few, so that should help me a lot.

Overall I feel pretty optimistic at the moment.  Phew!  And I gotta say, I really think that taking the weekend off of school / studies entirely helped A LOT.  My brain needed a rest.

Also, I finally joined Phi Theta Kappa.  We're selling poinsettias to raise awareness for sex trafficking, so if anyone wants flowers for the holidays let me know and I will get you the details.  🙂

This was a great way to spend the morning.

This was a great way to spend the morning. I needed some nail time with a friend!

I woke up last night due to a dream...

I woke up last night due to a dream that was so scary and realistic (with the actual probability that it could have been a real situation) that I grabbed my firearm.  I was in full panic mode and it took me a few minutes to sort out that the situation was not real.  The location of my phone was the only real tip-off, because it wasn't where I left it in my dream.

Not to try to sound all Billy Badass or whatever, but I have aimed and pulled the trigger at a human being before.  I was 16 and pregnant, and I was scared for my life and that of my unborn child.  Lucky for the person at the other end of the barrel that the gun wasn't loaded.

In case anyone has the idea that I might be going soft in my old age let me be clear that 17 years of working this hard to have what little we've got hasn't softened me one bit.  If anything - it's made me harder and more determined to protect my family and what's ours.

I have a legally obtained firearm.  I have a permit to carry.  My brother has trained me how to use it.  It's not on my bucket list to kill anyone or anything, so I really hope that no one ever forces my hand.

But it is loaded this time.