I probably shouldn't, but...

Rest in Peace, Beyonce. 😢

Rest in Peace, Beyonce.  😢

Liver failure got her.  We're not sure what it was due to, but the vet said it would have been hard to treat her because of how wild she was.  I wish we could have done more for her; I'm gonna miss seeing my ghosty kitty around.  When she let Shaun pet her Monday night I knew she was not ok.  I didn't know it was that serious, though.  ☹️

Despite not being able to get my car out of the yard...

Despite not being able to get my car out of the yard without Shaun's help I made it to school in time for my second class, which was Linear Algebra.  Thank goodness because I definitely wouldn't want to miss it - especially if I can't drop it.

I also met my tutors today.  My appointments with them weren't until 1 and 2, but I went straight to the tutoring lab to study as soon as Linear Algebra was over at 11.  It was SO NICE to have some peace and quiet.  I don't think I realized how much of a difference that would make.

I know I said that I was going to stay at the school to study like, a week ago, but I kept making excuses to come home.  Knowing I had to meet someone made it a lot easier to stay.  I am hoping that I will be able to convince myself to stay the rest of this week, as well, but who knows?  I am feeling more able to cope with my life at the moment, so hopefully I will make good decisions.

In any case I feel like I'm on the mend and slowly climbing my way back up the mountain of things I let slide.  It is not a fun place to be and it's a lot of work, but it's definitely better than sitting at the bottom feeling helpless and watching the mountain grow.

Also, one of my tutors said that she is a CS major who is minoring in Math as well and she's getting close to done.  She said it sounded like I have a really tough schedule, so at least I know I'm not just straight up being a pansy this semester.  That made me feel a good bit better, too.  🙂

If you're offended by cursing then don't read this, but...

If you're offended by cursing then don't read this, but it is SO ACCURATE.  😂😂😂  Tarantulas are legit big babies.  I can't remember the last time Anansi ate.  She did molt recently, though, so hopefully it will be soon.

I got up and tried to have a regular day.

I know that Celexa hasn't really had time to kick in yet, but...

I know that Celexa hasn't really had time to kick in yet, but today has felt ok. I have mostly just been chilling since I finished the DSC assignments last night.

Me and Kira and Shaun took the dogs walking.  We don't go often enough, and in fact I'm pretty sure I haven't been since sometime before I started JSU, but we walked our usual route and I'm not tired.  I'm usually huffing and puffing so if nothing else walking that hill every day at JSU has improved my health at least slightly.  Yay for that.  🙂

I should be practicing my C++ or studying Linear Algebra or Probability & Stats.  I think I'm about to try my hand at some Probability homework.  I still need to email my Linear Algebra teacher, as well.

If I think hard enough I'm sure I have tons to do, but I'm not going to do that to myself today.  I'm gonna do what I can, and then relax some more.  Tryna keep it low-stress over here for now.

I hope you all are having a nice weekend.  ❤

Today has been a mixed bag, but...

Today has been a mixed bag, but at least I feel like I can say that things might be looking up.

I was SUPER SICK last night.  Nausea, headache, fever, etc.  Physically I still do not feel good at all, but it's not as bad as yesterday, thank goodness.

On the school front... I'm so embarrassed to admit this, but I made a 3 on that Linear Algebra test.  A literal THREE.  I just could not make my brain go on Wednesday, so that is what happened.  🙁  On the bright side several people have told me that they had to re-take linear algebra, so it's not just me.  But I am going to email my professor this weekend and let her know what all is going on.  Since I still don't know if I'll be able to drop the class I might as well do as much as I can while I'm in there.

On the dropping that class front... I checked in with the scholarship guy and he said it would be 10 days - 2 weeks before he could tell me anything.  I don't want to just keep failing it that hard only to find out that I can't drop it, so I'm gonna put in the effort on it.

Speaking of effort - DSS really came through for me.  They have found me tutors for both Linear Algebra and Probability and Statistics.  So I will be meeting with tutors every Monday so that I can get on track.  I'm pretty excited about that.  I don't want to get too ahead of myself, but it would be great if I didn't have to drop Linear.  We'll see, though.

Other than that I met with my adviser today and he said that he really thought I'd be able to drop Linear Algebra if it came to that.  He said that my record was strong and he's sure that JSU will want to keep me.  He said it helped that I have identified my issues and that I'm taking steps to get back on track.  So that was nice.

I also found out that after I finish my required maths (Linear Algebra and the Stats class) that I am literally one math class away from a math minor.  So even though I don't have to declare a minor I'm going to.  There is absolutely no reason not to at this point.

The last thing was that we planned my schedule for spring.  That's cool and all, but I found out that even if I go full time and take two classes each summer I won't be finished until summer of 2019.  🙁  I was thinking I'd have summers off and finish in May of 2019, so that is kind of a bummer.  But on the bright side of all THAT he did say that Linear Algebra looked like one of my harder classes, so if that's the case I will probably survive the next two years.  LOL

So yeah.  There is a lot going on.  I still don't feel 100% physically or mentally, but having plans in place is uplifting, at least.  I feel pretty supported by the efforts of DSS and hopefully my Celexa will kick in in time for me to have motivation and energy and a working brain before I majorly mess up anything else.  For now I'm off to muddle through some DSC homework that is due tonight.

I hope you all have a great weekend.  I plan to rest and study if I can.  While I do feel the pressure to try to get back on top of things ASAP I know that creating more stress for myself right now is a bad idea, so I'm going to try to be super nice to me.  Hopefully, I can.  That is not one of my strong points, unfortunately.  😕

❤❤❤