How did I work in an office for 10+ years and never know this?!

How did I work in an office for 10+ years and never know this?!

100% me today.

100% me today.  I have been trying for HOURS to get myself to do anything from my to-do list.  Still failing miserably.  😫🙃

I am starting to think...

I am starting to think I'm having breakthrough depression caused by feeling utterly overwhelmed this semester... or either my antidepressant is losing effectiveness. In any case I think I'm going to be dropping a class within the next 3 weeks (before the academic penalty deadline). I'm staying as long as I can to learn as much as I can, but I am ready to be down to 4 classes. Clearly, 5 is too many right now. I don't need to push myself this hard. I'll still graduate on time.

I'm really hoping that will help. If not, I have a bigger problem than I thought. I really wanted to spend the weekend catching up on school work, but yet again I couldn't make myself do ANYTHING. This just won't do. Something has to give.

Anyway, I hope you all are doing well. If not - make some changes and hang in there. ❤

Facebook says this is my most loved photo from 2012.

Facebook says this is my most loved photo from 2012. It's honestly one of my favorites, too. I like it when I look happy. 😃

Time has changed us physically and I've learned a lot over the years, but I guess I'm always going to do shit my way. College in your 30's is no joke, but just as I've had to do for most of my life now I keep on keeping on and do what needs to be done. It's just a little harder with more years under your belt and the health issues that can bring. But I'm tough. If all goes as planned I'll be graduating again in May 2020 with TWO majors, and with Shadow, Shaun, and Kira by my side (and hopefully no one on my hip 😂😂😂). I'm looking forward to that happy. It's gonna be a BIG happy and I will have most definitely earned it. 😁😁😁

Plant Updates:

My Frizzle Sizzle is turning red and her bud is getting taller. I can't wait to see her bloom!

I ended up sorting my propagation babies and putting them in one tray. I already have several with both roots and teensy plants and hopefully many more to come. 😊

I was a lump yesterday.

I was a lump yesterday. The only thing I did was feed my animals. Well, I guess I did spend a few hours on the couch and I finally ate around 8 p.m. But by and large I stayed in my bed and depression won. It was strong and I couldn't fight it. 

Today I'm awake and I am rested. I'm actually about to shower. Then I'm going to school. I'm not 100% feeling it, but I'm not as bad off as yesterday so I'm fighting for it. I'm really glad it's Friday; I have a lot of school work to do and I could use the weekend to catch up.

I hope you all have a great day. I may not, but I'm going to try. ❤

My self-care is slipping...

My self-care is slipping and everything else is following suit. I tried for 2 hours to study for a quiz I have tomorrow. Couldn't make myself. I just want to get in my bed and stay there.